The House of the Dead rises

 The damn Dead won't die!

Seems this has been the week of the undead recently, as the one topic of entertainment that I thought we'd all, as a species, collectively decided had been milked to ultimate death reared it's head one more time. Why are zombies literally everywhere right now? What more is there seriously to say with the rotting corpses of the deceased? We've already done the 'consumerism' parallels, 'end of the world' and 'the breakdown of society' tends to work better in more focused settings, and I don't not what 'Dead Set' was supposed to commenting on, but it was made and it's real. (Can't remember if that show was trash or not. I should rewatch that.) But despite that we've got zombies coming out of ears this year! We've got the Resident Evil 8 game speeding towards us like a bat-out-of-hell with that recent showcase event from not too long back. That really generic looking 'Army of the Dead' Movie that Zack Snyder has shot out propelled by the recent fervour since his cut of Justice League dropped. (After watching all four hours of that I have to say: my god someone staple an editor to this man's forehead- he needs to know how long a shot is acceptable to be) And then there's... I mean I saw an advert for another IOS Walking Dead game... If you wanna count that...'Stubbs the Zombie' is getting a re-release. Oh, and 'House of the Dead' is back.

Wait, really? That 'House of the Dead'? The seminal blockbuster movie by visionary auteur Uwe Boll? (I'm being facetious, of course. Mr Boll and that movie are both hot garbage) Actually this is in relation to the video game that movie was based on, if 'video game' is even the right descriptor because despite the plethora of ports it's had in the years since (Count three) I remember this title as adorning the arcade machines in the pier I used to visit sometimes as a child. Not that I ever played it all that much, I was kind of terrified of zombies back then. It's actually quite interesting to me just how absolutely petrified I was of rotting corpses despite being a huge fan of' 'Tales from the Crypt', a show literally hosted by a skeleton. I was a child of contradictions, apparently.

If you're at all familiar with Time Crisis and the whole 'light-gun' aspect of those games then you already know what House of the Dead was about. Basically it was a game wherein you went along rails and tried your best to keep the hordes of undead off of you whilst juggling ammunition and aiming, only this was on-the-rails back in the day when that wasn't a dirty word and those games where still somewhat fun. Additionally, House of the Dead went the Resident Evil route of brining really crazy mutated bosses to shoot down at the end of stages so that the whole thing didn't get too monotonous. (And it released before Resident Evil 1 so I can't even throw around a frivolous plagiarism accusation like I want to) The game also borrowed from it's future inspiration by having just some of the worst voice actors to ever touch a microphone. Good lord, everything sounds so bad. And unlike RE, House of the Dead somehow managed to pick up worse voice actors as the series progressed. I don't even know how you do that! It's like the rest of the industry just squeezed these guys out of the business and sent them packing right for House of the Dead's door, whereupon rested the sign "We take all comers; as long as they accept payment only in 'Shakeaway' coupons."

They were very robust and straight forward games, and that managed to win them a nigh-on cult following as the years went on through admiration of their raw fun factor as well as transparent flaws. What's not to love about a first person zombie horror game where the gameplay actually benefits from taking the controls out of the hands of the player? I've mentioned this when talking about the original Resident Evil too, but when you as a player cannot reliably decide the location of your character in a moment of crisis it makes you feel vulnerable, which heightens tension. In this regard I'd say House of the Dead actually has one up over on Resident Evil, because it purposefully induces this feeling of hopelessness, rather than achieving it through rocking a fundamentally poor movement system.

But despite all the fond memories and heartfelt applause these games received, they were still a product of their time being on-the-rails shooters in an industry that was spurring them like the plague. So it made sense that this series couldn't be perpetuated forever. Nowadays it has mostly lived on through nostalgia fuelled ports, and that one ingenious idea of turning it into a backwards edutainment game with 'Typing of the dead'. (I literally thought that was a fan mod for years until I looked it up and found out they actually made arcade cabinets for this thing! Cabinets with keyboards!) Honestly, this wouldn't be one of those franchises that I'd say was killed off too soon at all. What with four games a special and... an arcade game in 2018? What the what? I know that arcade machines are still a thing in Japan, but I never knew they made another game? (Does that mean the original's are now fair game to be ported into a minigame for a future Yakuza title?)  But what I think about the state of this series is irrelevant, because what better time to bring back a series that's had it's day from a genre that's long decrepit than now, in the age of remakes for any old thing people can dig up the rights too.

Yep, some intern over at Sega tripped over a stack of papers and rediscover the intellectual rights to this franchise, it would seem, because someone's bringing this game right back with the impending release of 'House of the Dead: Remake'. Yes, apparently this Polish company called ForeverEntertainment is publishing this game on behalf of Square Enix, who I guess owns this series now? (Rights management is a mystery to me) MegaPixel Studio, who remade the first Panzer Dragoon for Switch last year, are working on the development so that should be something of a relief to fans who fear they might mess with the formula in this remake. These guys are making a name for themselves in singlehandedly reviving the rail shooter genre, apparently. (So thanks for that guys... woo) All this to remake an arcade game. One that never ever got a Steam port, amazingly. (Apparently a PC version does exist, it just takes some digging to find.) Is this really what fans of these games want over just a touch up of the originals? I guess so...

But how is the Remake actually shaping up, seeing as how it's coming to a relatively modern system in the Nintendo Switch? It looks fine... I mean I understand that there's been a direct attempt to copy the style of the original in order to keep that fan base, but I just see the label 'remake' and expect a little more, is all. The zombie models look like playdoh and there's a cartoonish atmosphere to the whole thing, although it does look undeniably improved from the original. I just wonder why we couldn't have been given a remaster over this. Plus, and this is my gripe time, I don't like all of the faux arcade elements they shoved in such as a the 'hold your fire' splash text. I know, it's classic and was in the original, but it just has no purpose in what is supposedly a straight Nintendo Switch game. (Unless someone intends to port this to some cabinet down the line.) But I will give the team some credit for somehow managing to rerecord voice lines with a performance just as cheesy as the original. (Although not quite as bad, it would seem)

I'm not really someone who has rose tinted glasses with this franchise, I never played the entirety of a single one of these games. But I did used to know someone who was all about these games for a while, so I do feel kind of connected to them, if by osmosis. Honestly, I find myself a little intrigued at getting this game now it's finally accessible by reasonable means, and if this game is going to have new content (which it will) then I suppose that makes this remake the upcoming definitive article. Oh, and you rest assured that the team have already announced their work on remaking the sequel, so Resident Evil and House of the Dead are literally stepping on each other's coattails right now. And now that we have the Last of Us remake on the horizon? Whew... seems like someone up there just sat down and decided to remake the entire zombie genre. (When's my Dead Rising Remake?)