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Tuesday, 2 February 2021

We'll Never guess who's making Star Wars now...

 Is it everyone?

A while back I covered the grand revival of Lucasarts, now widely known as Lucas Film Games, but I didn't get a chance to mention the immediate fallout of that reveal. As it turns out I made one mistake and one correct note from that blog; first I implied that Lucas Film Games was a new studio which is wrong, that's just the working name of Lucasarts, and second I thought this announcement was moot because EA still had exclusivity rights. And that was spot on: they do. As it turns out this is actually just a moment for studios to announce the products that they're working on for that date when the exclusivity deal runs out in 2023, which I personally would think is a little bit of a breach, this means Disney has been selling the licence before the cut-off date, but I don't have Disney's lawyers so that's not an argument I would ever take to court. (Nor is it an accusation, by-the-by. In fact, just to head off any potential or theoretical recourse in the extremely unlikely scenario this comes back to bite me; Everything I said is legally a joke.)

But disregarding how obnoxious it is to be told about games that won't be coming for at least two years time, (Like I'll even still be around to play them) what's life without a little bit of anticipation for the future? Still and dull, so let's talk. "About what?", you may ask; well for one we can talk about the announcement that one studio coming around to making a Star Wars game is none other than Ubisoft. The company who briefly lost their spot as the biggest European game-studio for a while last year. (Needless to say, I think they won it back.) Now Ubisoft's history with Star Wars games isn't nearly as eclectic as you would imagine given the size of the studio, but I'd imagine it was a situation of never knowing what you have until it's gone. Ubisoft didn't want to make a bunch of Star Wars games when the license was free, but the second the veil of exclusivity dropped the jealousy began to mount. How does that Jackson 5 song go? "Someone picked you from the bunch, one glance was all it took; now it's much too late for me to take a second look"

Ubisoft must have been itching to get a Star Wars game under their belt if they're announcing this far out. They only usually do that when they've misjudged the scale of their project (Watch Dogs Legion) or leaked the details of their next game the second after the last one came out. (Every Assassin's Creed game ever. Including the next one, apparently it's going to be in India) Heck, they didn't even do us the common courtesy of showing us a teaser reel so we may be able to even wonder about what the game could be. They could be making anything from an MMO, to a party based RPG to a long-awaited sequel to Super Bombad Racing. (Hyper Bombad Racing, anyone?) What we do know is that the game will have an open world and will be story driven; well considering what this studio considers to be a 'story', literally any genre of game is on the table. This could a moisture farm simulator with those tags, way to give me literally nothing to work off, guys.

I guess I can look at their back catalogue of Star Wars games for inspiration. Let me see, 'Star Wars Trilogy: Apprentice of the Force'? Never heard of it, and that's a horrible title. 'Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith?' I played the love out of that game, wow. But at the end of the day it's still just a movie tie-in so there's not a lot to go on. Hmm... then we have 'Lethal Allia-'. Wait, Ubisoft made 'Lethal Alliance'!? Man, I cannot tell you how much time I put into playing Lethal Alliance back in the day, that was my PSP jam! It was a 'fill in the gap' story which told of this Twi'lek Rebel and her pet droid as they singlehandedly fought everyone from the Black Sun to the Imperials on this mad cap quest to... oh... steal the plans to the Death Star... Yeah, guess that's not canon no more. (Fair enough. I bet there's at least 5 different 'Legends' stories that tell conflicting accounts about how those plans were nicked. In fact, I'm fairly certain the original 'Star Wars Battlefront 2' had one.) So maybe this new Ubisoft plan won't have the confidence to be a fresh story and might similarly lean on the weight of established lore. My guess is something Sequel Trilogy related, probably another stupid nonsensical branch of the emperor's plans. (Yes, they are nonsensical. If Sheev's Operation Cinder existed to ensure the Empire doesn't outlive him, which is a dumb and unbecoming motive anyway, why did he also have a resurrection plan in the works? You either have everyone die with you or come back 7 days later, you can't have it both ways!)

Aside from Ubisoft, not many have come out to celebrate their new found Disney employment. I've heard that Star Wars 1313 has been picked up yet again, which seems a bit 'too little too late' in my eyes, but I guess there's still some people out there who thinks that 'Uncharted with Star Wars skins' looks good. But there is actually one more announcement out of this, only this one isn't so much an announcement. You see, here we have one of those 'sources' that's typically some fellow with just enough confidence to make wild accusations but not enough to share their name for credibility. However, I'm not going to look a gift-horse for conversation starters in the mouth, so though I find the thing very suspect, I suppose we can talk about the apparent leak that there's another 'Knights of the Old Republic' game on the horizon.

"Great Scott, another Kotor? But that's like your favourite RPG of all time, you must be thrilled!" I'm dubious, and that's because the so-called source who shared this has made it known with the most idiotic caveat I've ever heard. "You'll never guess who". Oh, that's not me challenging you or anything, that's the big scoop. Kotor 3 is in development and 'we'll never guess who' is making it. What- what do you mean we won't guess? Ain't you supposed to tell us!? What sort of playground crap is this? They're literally flaunting their position of knowledge over us. Great, you know about as much as a low-level executive in Disney's tech branch- but that knowledge is useless if it isn't shared. Or else, you're useless if it isn't shared! I won't lie to you and say that I didn't laugh when I first saw this headline, but I also can't understand it either. Are we really taking the word of someone who refuses to offer up even the slightest ounce of accountability? 'I can't name a studio; what if they come out and vehemently deny the rumours? Then my reputation's shot!' Meh.

Though it makes a nice fantasy, I will admit. Thinking about where Knights of the Old Republic 3 might fit into the canon that Disney has laid out. (First it'd probably start with a Kylo Ren plagiarism lawsuit, cause that man blatantly ripped off Darth Revan's helmet design) Thinking about Kotor 3 wasn't even on my mind during the announcement of the impending licence release, and that might be because for this whole ten years the actual studio who made the original were in possession of the licence but just... did nothing with it. That's right, Bioware, under EA, chose to excrete Anthem all over our waiting hands instead of a new Kotor. Thanks bunches, team. We feel so blessed. Guess it makes sense, if we are to believe out suspiciously vague informant, for a potential sequel to be far away from Bioware altogether. In all honesty I don't really trust them to make a new game. I'd better trust Larian, but they're busy... oh, maybe Obsidian! They did Kotor 2!

Right now everyone and their mother is deciding on who this 'mystery studio' is that's making the thing, and I'm calling it a losers game right now. We don't even have proof the rumour is real, so I refuse to water it until such a time exists. Although I will share the funniest rumour on the topic that I heard; Apparently some people think CDPR are doing it. Really? You think they have the time to go around and make a brand new RPG whilst putting out the dumpster fire in front of them? Maybe they took on the job before Cyberpunk's release, but if they did that would literally be the single dumbest move I heard a AAA studio make in... oh... let's say the past twelve hours. Yet I suppose now no guess is a bad guess in the marketplace of ramblers, so I pass the buck to you. I say Obsidian, who do you think this mystery studio is that's handling the theoretical third Kotor game. Right guesses win bragging rights.

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