Ori and the unkempt online outbursts

 Odd sequel, really shifted the tone

I think I went a month without talking about Cyberpunk. (Almost a month? I can't be sure...) But the reason has been because there really hasn't been much of anything really going on with that whole extended genre. The act has just been slowly rolling through a transitional phase from one storyline to the next, and I've kept a cursory eye from a distance. I'm just kind of curious if the game will ever be playable for people around my neck of the woods, or if I'm just too poor. (Again, I fully understand if it's the latter case; I just want confirmation.) But then this week came (or 'last week' if we're being specific) and every just straight jumped the shark in terms of narrative. I mean, you couldn't make this stuff up and now the conspiracy theories are starting to make more sense than reality. (Maybe that Bob Page guy isn't all on the up-and-up...)

First, or at the least first bit of insanity to grab my attention, was the random unprovoked outburst from the game director of the Ori games. You know, those gorgeous platformers about the light-rabbit-thing who loses it's mother and... you know I never actually finished the Blind Forest, I don't know what it's about. I just know that it's cute and adorable with some sadness swirled in there and an absolutely masterful art style backing everything up. Yeah, that game director went a bit nuts over on ResetEra. (Yuck, if he was an active user over there than no wonder he's a little unhinged...) He railed against CDPR for misleading consumers and exploiting hype culture, swung a bit at Hello Games and Peter Molyneux for their contribution and even worked in a backhand at Geoff Keighley for rewarding all this behaviour with game awards. Not the Keigh-miester! What foul magic could possibly bring such vitriol upon that poor Canadian man?

Well I think it comes back to an angle I haven't really considered much in all of this 'Cyberpunk backlash' and it's the response of other game developers. The actions of someone as prominent as CDPR was sure to have an effect on everyone, but I just didn't think it would be enough to elicit genuine ire out of them. (But I suppose, in hindsight, that is a natural reaction whenever one's fate is not entirely within their own grasp.) The games industry is a boat that everyone has to ride, and when someone updeck decides to start rocking it, everyone else gets wet. Maybe a loss of trust between developer and consumer is good for someone like CDPR, who received much more trust than they ever truly deserved, but what about the knock-on ire that smaller studios get? Or heck, what about the example this sets for mistruth, wherein it doesn't matter how good the game is, merely how much you have to market/lie about it to the public. How's the industry supposed to compete with that? At least, that's what I assume this man's gripes were about, he just seemed to be very angry in general.

All in all it was all very justified, I was just slightly taken aback from the fact that this bad laundry was being aired in such an unprofessional manner by a game director, of all people, and then that it was coming from this game director. I mean, I obviously never knew the man, I haven't even finished any of his games, but just the impression I got from the work he headed gave me the concept of a gentler soul who appreciated beauty and love. Instead we got a full blown "Never forgive, Never forget! Carve their crimes across the forehead for all to see! Blood for the Blood god! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!" But hey, I never got to 'The Will of the Wisps'; maybe that game was an unreserved Ori bloodbath. After it was all said and done the director apologised, said he was challenging an outspoken version of himself from days past, and... well he didn't wallback his words but he said they were unprofessional. Which is true. They were. But do you wanna know what was even more unprofessional? The next thing that happened to CDPR.

Cause you see, in the background to all this there was an update where the modding community could finally get their mitts into the game. Twas a time of great celebration all around, and then an immediate freakout when some idiot made a Keanu Reeves sex mod. (What where they thinking!? They tryna get everyone sued?) What followed, however, was a surprise situation wherein some vulnerability allowed for malicious files to be hidden inside of mods. Yep, that's an express ticket to malware doing the backwards shuffle into people's computers through Cyberpunk modding, and to quote Sega's wise blue Hedgehog; "That's no good". Since then the vulnerability has been patched and everything's just hunkey dorey. Except... maybe that was just the prelude for something much wor-

CDPR got hacked. Good lord does this saga ever stop going off the rails? Somehow someone managed to worm their way into CDPR's systems and make off with (according to them) source code, legal documents, and other such things that people really would prefer remains within the fold. The hacker, in as juvenile manner as possible, claimed that unless a deal would be reached the documents would be sent off and CDPR's reputation would suffer. (Which is impossible, you can't go lower than nothing.) They also made a finically questionable claim that the data would be sold off and/or given to their contacts in games journalism. First of all 90% of 'game's journalists' are just pundits with a paycheck, they don't manage contacts. Secondly, how are they going to sell off data which is only valuable if it's then made public? You're basically going to charge someone to do a public dump for you, which means you'll need to get either a moron with too much money or a philanthropist who really hates CDPR for some reason. Unless they intend to sell these documents to a direct competitor, but given how that's cooperate espionage and a big no-no, I'd imagine no one would seriously risk their livelihood in doing business with a hacker who writes a random note on Wordpad with the line "Your have been EPICALLY pwned." Seriously, talk about the most cringeworthy hack ransom note known to man.

 

But then we get to the conspiracy theories, because already people are turning around and throwing a "I'm not sure I believe this" into the mix and it's making me a little nauseous. People are seriously suggesting that the note looks so dumb, that it's clearly been put together by the studio themselves in order to fake a hack and illicit sympathy or provide an excuse for their lethargic updates. And I mean, seriously; do you really think CDPR are that stupid? After making public accusations, themselves, that a crime has been committed, they'd literally be incriminating themselves for making a false police report. (Unless they never report it officially, but even then I think it counts as wasting police resources) Honestly, I understand the mistrust but there has to be limits;  the real story here is that CDPR have apparently been given the runaround by an 8 year old with a macbook, judging by the demand letter. (That's embarrassing enough)

Quite honestly, right now I'm just waiting for the movie rights on CDPR's fall from grace to get optioned, because these three months alone have provided plenty of material for a docu-movie. I keep expecting Cthulu to rise from the depths and reveal how the elder gods were subcontracted for coding the Cyberpunk crime system but ended up getting stiffed by CD management; at this point I'd find that believable. At least I can say that the extent of this lunacy has managed to cross the threshold from being sad and into outright hilarity, because you couldn't take all this carnage without ultimately laughing it down, you'd go crazy. However, condolences for the team themselves, I guess, it must have been a really crappy 2021 so far.