Mortal Kombat Movie: 3rd times the charm?

 Oh no. Oh no. OH NO.

Oh no. No no. We're not doing this again. Let me check the mirror, have I reverted to being 10 years old again? Because that's the only logical reason for why I'm currently looking at screenshots for the upcoming Mortal Kombat movie. Life wouldn't be so cruel, so exacting, to do this to us once again; now would it? I thought that the cycle goes; fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me; what the heck do we do about third times, huh? WHAT HAPPENS ON THE THIRD TIME?! I gawk because, unlike many folk out there, I've seen the two Mortal Kombat movies and I absolutely hated them. Both of them. Yeah, I hold no 'begrudging respect' for the silly badness of the first one, because whenever that could possibly approach me I just close my eyes and think about Scorpion's hand-hook before realising "No, that movie was the worst thing ever." Or to be precise "It's mostly the worst thing ever. I do agree that the sequel is charmless and worse." So why in all the various pits of Zagreus' family home are we returning there? WHEN WILL HOLLYWOOD STOP WITH THE VIDEO GAME MOVIES? 

Okay. I apologise for the outburst. It's a new day, I caught up with some sleep, now it's time to be a lot more open and take things with a grain of salt. I just think maybe that the movie industry would finally get the message, but I guess theirs is an industry built on being stubborn and going their own way when they're being told it's wrong. It's just- I know that there's an actually good Mortal Kombat movie somewhere in the DNA of this franchise, and that's what drives me nuts. When the latest Hitman movie shows up and completely misses the point of the entire franchise, it doesn't upset me. So you turned Agent 47 into a slo-mo wielding rambo type character instead of the intelligent calculating killer he's meant to be; it's not like there was a good movie idea anyway. (At least; not one that Hollywood would be willing to make. It would need to have intrigue and take it's time, both of which are practically banned practises in the City of Angels) I suppose, it's missed potential that bothers me.

Take the recent Monster Hunter movie for example. That was a adaptation of a pretty story-light series that could have actually benefitted from a little bit of contextualisation. Perhaps in the same way that Monster Hunter Stories attempted to do. They could have made real characters, given them stakes within this world, utilised the amazing setting and it's bestial populace; but all of that would have taken just the smallest modicum of respect and Hollywood, rather patently, has no respect. Instead we got another Milla Jovovich vehicle that, whilst still any better than it had any right to be, still isn't really worth anyone's time and/or money. They nailed the monster's at least, but I think we're quite literally decades past the age when all an audience wants is to see big monsters for a movie to do the rounds. Isn't that why 'Godzilla: King of Monsters' underperformed? 'Pacific Rim' 2; whatever that subtitle was? Insert stupid CGI fest here? Heck, maybe I'm just being grumpy, maybe this Mortal Kombat is really going to surprise me with its-

Why did you make a new character? You have a roster of some of the most memorable characters in pop media and you decided to make a brand new character to be the focal point? This 'Cole', played by Lewis Tan, appears to be some sort of underground streetfighter (think you guys got the wrong franchise) who joins the Mortal Kombat tournament in order to find out the truth about a mysterious tattoo on him that resembles the Mortal Kombat logo. And already I don't care. Most of the Mortal Kombat cast have much more simple and digestible goals, it makes things easier to get your head around because there's just so many characters. Scorpion wants vengeance, Cage wants fame, Raiden wants to protect the world. I understand the apparent need for an outsider to be the audience's window into the world of Mortal Kombat, but it still seems like such an antiquated prospect that I hope won't end up standing in the way of the narrative. If it's anything like Monster Hunter was, however, than I can assume it'll just result in an entirely redundant half of a film.

The rest of the 'normal human cast' includes Sonya Blade and Jax, still just pictures for the moment. Sonya somehow looks even more boring in design than she's always been in the series, which is quite the accomplishment, but given that I've never really liked her character that doesn't come as a huge bicycle kick to the stomach. (I just find her mostly forgettable.) So if she's going to be a main character here, I can only see her getting improved upon. Jax, on the otherhand, looks actually good even with his robot arms. I know that a lot of the Internet has really taken to him looking like Steve Harvey because... I guess he has a moustache? (I didn't know that was all it takes.) I actually think they've done a great job with the CG judging from this still shot, (which, I know, isn't an indication of the overall job, but it's a start) and that is going to be important for a Mortal Kombat project. Ideally there'll need to be a lot of computer effects. (Unless, I guess, these actors are really expendable.)

We also have a shot of Liu Kang and Kung Lao (You know, two characters who would've made just as good main characters) and they look great. Honestly, so far what we've seen of the look of this movie has confirmed that visually the thing is on point. But then again, we are looking at some of the more easier people to portray, as in everyone who's already mostly human looking. Even  Scorpion have been shown without his iconic suit, and Kano doesn't have any of his cybernetics for some reason. But there's no screen so far where I'm staring at it just gobsmacked with how wrong everything is. (Just remember to make Kano Australian. It happened in the movie and now it must be the case everywhere) How is Sheeva going to turn out, or Shao Khan, or the Cyber Ninjas? Heck, we haven't even seen Raiden for some reason, despite the fact we know for sure he's going to be in the movie. So I'll call the visual design a tentative B right now, have to see more (and in motion) for a definitive.

I think my biggest worry comes more from the content of the movie itself, because this could really be make or break. Whereas the involved have claimed that the movie won't shy away from gore, I'm familiar with bare-faced lying as well as the actual brutality of the games, so I wouldn't be surprised if that doesn't play out quite to the level fans are hoping for. Mortal Kombat 8 deftly showed that these games can support a narrative if pressed and things don't even have to get too complicated either. But I worry when I hear things like the director commenting that the movie is all about 'Family' or some such diet Fast and Furious trite. What are you talking about? Just make a super bloody movie, please. Don't let Vin Diesel's elaborate money laundering scheme enter the conversation.

I think it's extremely telling how right now the Sonic movie is considered the most faithful adaptation of our age given how lukewarm that movie is. If that is the bar we're trying to shoot for, then maybe Video Game movies are a doomed endeavour. When I think about stories that games need to tell, usually I think about all the ways in which they can surpass traditional visual media and tell a lot more indepth, personal and long-from stories. Total immersion can push self discovery stories into emotional powerhouses in the right hands, and you lose that opportunity when you transport that audience to a cinema for an hour and a half. But at the end of the day I guess Ed Boon needed a new pool or something, cause we're getting the movie whether we want it or not. At least it might be watchable. Might.