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Thursday, 12 September 2024

So the Minecraft movie looks... unique

 

I'm actually starting to come around to this age of adaptations that we're living in. It was kind of disconcerting when all of them were starting to become good or decent- I was starting to really question my grip on reality- but thank goodness for sanity to return with the dropping of Borderlands; a masterpiece of crap that truly harkened back to the days of my 2000's childhood- bliss. Which is why I was actually looking forward to the next upcoming one- Yakuza- before being jump scared with the announcement that this ten-year-overcooked half-digested-idea was making it's way to the big screens. Not sure why, not sure how, but the Minecraft movie is finally going to be landing in theatres and I definitely have some thoughts about that reality after this trailer.

So first off I absolutely know what they were going for from an artistic level. I have no doubt that when this movie was first conceived they had a totally different aesthetic in mind, probably something a lot more akin to what Minecraft Story Mode ended up doing- and in the years since the Animated Kids Movies of the time shifted that vision. With the near grotesquely tactile material, ugly faces and accurate but unflattering proportions- this is very clearly a play on the style of Detective Pickachu- and I may be taking an unpopular stance when I say that I really liked how that movie conceived of the Pokemon. It really fit the style of a noir detective thriller, albeit a kids one, to have the usually cuddly Pokemon look garish and awkward and full of sometime ugly character. Whether that works in this movie will depend on how the film ends up shaping- but from the get go I can say that my eyes do not love what they see. Which may be the intent, who knows?

Steve is of course the generic name given to the default character of Minecraft- a legend in his own right. Even though nowadays he's been replaced with more Swedish and gender-neutral 'Alex', but that's neither here nor there. Steve is an important figure within the Minecraft world- twas him that was chosen to represent Minecraft in the Smash Bros Ultimate tournament- which is why it's such a disappointment that his representation in this movie appears to be little more than standard Jack Black in a teal cardigan. They did nothing to the man. He has the same beard, the same haircut, they didn't even ask him to dye. They just rolled that man out of bed and slapped the name Steve ontop of him. It's a bit lazy.

Laziness is not a term I can use to describe the supporting cast, however, who conversely appear to be a complete assault on the eyes. I don't know what madman in the costuming department was in charge of clothing these people but he clearly needs to be locked up because the sheer deluge of clashing stylistic choices makes my eyes want to bleed. Rocker Jason Mamoa steals attention the most, but honestly all of the cast look to be dragged from different time periods, franchises and universes to create the most confused looking cast of all time. Can't say whether that is to the detriment of their dynamic or in support of it- I just know these people look deranged at a glance.

Funnily enough seeing what awaits us seems to have birthed a resurgence of apologetic revisions towards the originally much-lambasted Minecraft Storymode- itself an attempt to create a narrative out of the creative mess that is base Minecraft. That Telltale offering did little to really standout as an interesting piece of media in it's own right- in fact it tended to follow the most basic storyline without anything remotely subversive or intriguing- but it at least met the expectation of what a narrative based Minecraft experience should be. This movie seems to resemble better what a standard kids movie ends up being. A colourful slap together of animated and live action characters that never really sells to the eyes and ages poorly in five years or so. We can't all be Roger Rabbit, afterall. 

Now a funny thing that I have noted is the fact that from the face of this trailer, it seems that the presented villains of this tale are going to be the Piglins once again- who are coming to be the go-to badguys of the Minecraft world despite the plethora of other much more interesting creatures that roam the Minecraft mythos. You have nocturnal suicidal green monsters that explode on contact, stalking phantoms that haunt the sleepless, demented teleporting other dimensional slendermen who speak in twisted backwards speech- and then you have the mean pig people who hang around their dimension doing their own thing most of the time. I understand the basic premise of 'those are monsters creatures who operate on whim whereas these are seemingly sentient beings who choose to hurt others', but there's so much more interesting potential elsewhere that slips us by.

The one thing I am surprised we didn't get a look at during this trailer, which might hint at either holding something back or a severe break from the expected- are Youtuber Cameos. Minecraft lives and breathes it's influences and without them the universe of Minecraft would be nowhere near as long lasting as it otherwise has been. Minecraft Storymode actually fit in a lot of Youtubers where they could and even the Fnaf movie got in a Matpatt or two when no-one was looking. Could be an indication that the general fallibility of internet content creators makes their inclusion in this product a potential brand risk down the line? Or maybe it's just really cringe to throw Youtubers into a movie? I would be surprised if it's the later because that's never really stopped them before, now has it?

Minecraft looks to be a children's movie through and through, which nothing in it to attract the more grown up in the audience- which seems to be something of a missed opportunity given the fact that a large portion of Minecraft players have aged over the years. The kid popular games of this age are your Roblox and your Fortnite, Minecraft requires a bit of individual creativity and reasoning to get to work which doesn't quite slide with the modern audience of players quite as strongly as it did. Minecraft is still a deliriously popular franchise, don't get me wrong- but I don't think these movie makers are quite aiming for as much of the market as they think they are by going for just the kids. But hey- no matter how bad it ends up looking or being, I'll bet this is more interesting than the Borderlands movie. (I've only managed to get 10 minutes into that snoozefest so far- don't know how much more I can feasibly take.)

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