Somehow Fntastic has returned

 

A solitary message emanates across the dark folds of the universe, spreading a shrill dread amidst all it touches- a promise, a threat, an augur of a future ever more twisted and perverse then even the most dour could presume. And in that moment that dead receivers crackled to bear a dead voice from beyond the deep, did all existence know their turmoil, their strife, was spent not in vain- but in service and rhythm to the coming calamity they should have feared this entire time. Yea, let it me known that somehow, beyond reason and sanity, the worst has come to pass and Fntastic has somehow returned. Oh yes- that Fntastic- using the exact same name and holding themselves in their own regard, has rocked on up out of the woodworks and I am shook.

If you somehow did not know about them- Fntastic are a company that gained notoriety for showcasing the most unrealistic looking Division-esque zombie game of all time. That is to say 'unrealisitc' as in- there was no way this studio could be something like this together what with the quality of the fidelity and the cluttered world space- in what was supposed to be an MMO by a small time studio. Float around the dredges of Kickstarter for even a few weeks and you'll see thousands of diminutive studios brag about their next big MMO (the hardest genre of video game to produce short of actual blockbuster mega hits) that carry big cartoonish art styles that carry a mere fraction of a fraction of the processing power to render when compared to the models from the proposed 'The Day Before'.

Most people in my neck of the woods knew it for an overambition from day one- from the cringe 'faux teamchat' initial trailer to the ultra-suspicious raytraced light bouncing of puddles in the middle of Times Square- but I wouldn't have predicted it to be a straight out lie back then. That reality dawned later with subsequent trailers that all seemed to deftly railroad impressions and focus on strangely bizarre aspects utterly meaningless in real game design and marketing- such as the deformation of mud under the wheels of big trucks. But then release day came and we released that even those preliminary trailers were an absolute lie- the game was a pathetic cash grab and the developers were spooked out of their own grift and ran after a day whilst refunding everyone.

I cannot stress any more how much of an absolute disaster this was. The game was nigh on non-functional, the developers dribbled all over themselves to try and pretend what they put together was anything more than utter garbage and how they were the victims of an organised hate campaign by Youtubers looking to capitalize off their downfall- these delusional idiots conjured up fake feedback of enthused praise uttered by the voices in their head for absolute waste product of a game they developed. They lied, they misdirected, they grovelled, and when it became clear that they could actually be legally liable for scamming if they tried to keep this up- they refunded the game and ran off into the middle distance never to be seen again.

Almost never.

Because here, in the year of our lord 2024, I am looking at a Kickstarter game for one 'Escape Factory' and unless the very real possibility of this being a copycat is proven true, this very much seems to be Fntastic's ignoble return to the game design world. The brothers are at in again, those... just disasters to humanity. All in attempt to secure $20,000 in pursuit of a party game which- to be frankly honest- looks a damned-sight more achievable for a team like this than their previous aspirations. But does that mean I'm going reward their fumbling as a botched marketing ploy? Hell no, screw them! Don't let behaviour like this be successful! Ever!

In the tiny credit, the post does no go long without acknowledging the past- if rather duplicitously not mentioning any specifics so the lazy observer can just shrug their shoulders and assume it's not so bad. "Help Fntastic return" the very first paragraph reads: "We need your support once again to bring Fntastic back" Back from where? Their self imposed and fully deserving exile? Or their complete lack of industry trust which renders them incapable of finding a publisher or even half curious investor leading them to beg for crowd money? Which is it? Oh, but don't worry because they are "Sincerely sorry about everything that happened and are committed to making things right". Now here is the thing about apologies....

We love apologies, apologies are great- but they have to feel real. Fnastic are famous for replaying to one frustrated Twitter denizen with "S**t happens" mere days before disappearing into the ether. "Everything that happened" was a failed scam performed entirely by them for which only they are to blame for- for which this particular apology neither details not accepts tacit responsibility for- and as for "Making things right"- how? By making a completely different game and asking those same people you scammed to fund it? Because by the wording of this they expect readers to be familiar with them, presumably former victims, and you want to make things right by taking their money again? What a joke...

For me the real sticking point is the gall that this duo thought they could ride the notoriety of their name into some sort of success. They didn't need the name Fntastic- but they spent so many years grifting that sunk-cost-fallacy tells them they need to turn that into some success somehow. Does Escape Factory look like another scam? No- but with a team like this you never know and that is the problem with a liar. You can also rely on them to be dishonest but you can never take their word. That's about the sum of Fntastic right now. And to those that already pledged $492 their way? Stop it. Let them wither and die like they deserve.

Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne Review

 No matter how much I cry or shout, this nightmare won't end.

So I have been a Persona fan for a while now, and since that means everytime I bring it up around nerds I have to be fed the never ending gusset of facts about how the franchise is actually a spin off, don't ya know? Yes, Atlus created the very niche Shin Megami Tensei franchise, which span off several which ways- one such way was to a game called 'Revelation Persona'. That little game would become a franchise. By the time of Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3- those games started to develop a identify distinct from the core brand. And then when Persona 5 came out- that little franchise weren't so little anymore. Now Persona is frankly the biggest brand Atlus has ever made and old hats are stuck sitting on the edge of street curbs crying about how great SMT used to be before Atlus became 'The Persona company'.

Okay things aren't that dire. SMT fans got to eat with SMT V and SMT V: Vengeance- both of which have been very well received- but you know how fans of storied franchises can get. Heck, fans of storied JRPG franchises! Did you know that you haven't actually played a Final Fantasy game until you've played Final Fantasy VI? Which is nice to hear, because otherwise I might threat about the around 400-500 hours I've devoted to that franchise on the main games alone. (Thank goodness that time is... refunded, I guess?) Fans won't accept a supposed 'fan of ATLUS' games until they've touched the holy grail of the franchise according to them. Which means playing Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne. Which means you can slap a rapier in my hand and a stylish blue waistcoat on my back because I'm about to become a real boy. Which is to say- I'm going to play Nocturne. Not sure how that turned into a Lies of P reference. (I really loved that game.)

First off I might as well be straight and fair- this is the recently released HD version of Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne, and before going in I wasn't aware of how significant of a deal that is. Let me be clear- if you want to play this game for yourself, skip the base game and get the HD version. It is more than just a 'HD upgrade'- it comes imbued with very specific Quality of Life features that make some of the game's more unintentional tedium vanish- whilst still retaining the very 'quintessential' tedium which you can bet I'm going to touch on in this review. Still- if you are an SMT head and suddenly think that disqualifies me from having an opinion on this game because I didn't suffer the indignity of rerolling fusion inheritance skills- I don't really know what to say except- don't worry: I found a much more direct method of consuming the pure torture that Nocturne is renowned for.

Here's the part where I do my 'Do as I say, not as I do' message. Because you see- even though this was my very first time playing Nocturne ever, and my first SMT game to boot- I'd played all of the modern Persona games- two to utter completion- I figured that I knew what was up. I even beat Persona 4 and P3P on hard- I mean that ain't no mean feat! (3 was really the headache, obviously.) But here's the thing, I was only mildly aware of the reputation Nocturne has for being painfully unforgiving. I also didn't realise that people meant it was that hard... on normal. So yeah. I picked Hard. And let me tell you that decision alone was a mistake. I directly scuppered my chances to like this game in the early few hours by this direct blunder, and much of my later heartache can be traced by to this complete butterfly-moment screw up. The game is said to be utterly fair and fine on Normal. That being said- this review is for the Hard version of the game- and you can bet I'm going to talk about some of the hoops this game made me jump through on the daily for that decision! 

I reckon that if you kidnapped your average Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne fan off the street, strapped them to a chair and refused to let them leave until they coherently conveyed exactly what it was about the game which made they go all go-go eyed around it- one of the first words out of their mouths, after they've finished crying for their closest family member, would be 'atmosphere'. And there's a reason for that. Shin Megami Tensei takes place in the desolate wastes of a world that had ended, not one scorched in radioactive fire or drained of it's water or any of those other more traditional 'apocalyptic settings'- Nocturne's Japan has ended. As though the thread of fate was just cut and everything ceased to be. What remains doesn't stand as a testament to what was before so much as it does to be an unsettling transitory limbo utterly inhospitable to the very idea of conventional life.

There's an oppressively wide-open emptiness about this world, reinforced in the droning accompaniments to many of the quietest background tracks to even the oddly electric, and typically funky, overworld theme that plays on themes of 'weirdness', and feeling 'out of step' and 'uncomfortable'- but in those typically creepy ways a horror soundtrack might. Of course, the sense of being a round pin for a square hole is reinforced in a gameplay sense by the sheer fact that for the vast majority of the game you are always in danger. SMT 3 employs the 'ambush' system of RPG games and there isn't a single safe tile for the first 15 hours of gameplay at least. You can be attacked at anytime, anywhere and if you play in Hard difficulty- you also cannot run away. Thus you can be killed at anytime.

Alongside static save spots which are of course a staple of games from this age, you pretty much always feel a sense of lurking danger as something precious is in peril of being lost, whether that is a demon you finally managed to bag or just the last hour or so of your freetime given that save points aren't exactly around the corner from one another in this lost world. Personally I suffered having to beat the first major boss of the game three times because I found myself ambushed and killed literally at the door to the save room both other times. Which is about where the sense of 'wow, this really aids the mood' starts to melt away into 'okay, this is deeply frustrating and I hate it'. (But that's Nocturne for ya!)

But before I get any further I should probably touch on the rather unique quirks to combat that SMT rocks over any other ATLUS RPG. This is still very much a turn-based affair with all that entails, except turns are not as cut-as-dry as one might expect. Instead there is a 'stock' system in place wherein each turn is awarded a 'stock' of actions determined by how many are on that side which they are allowed to conduct before the turn switches to the enemy. Now this is basically the same as your average Persona experience with the exception of the way stock is spent. You see, attack or spending an item (Items can only be used by the protagonist, by the way. Which is horrendous design.) will use up a single stock, but failing an attack uses up two. Failing by missing, or having the attack be resisted can chew up the amount of turns your team would have had. Perform a group attack that hits two enemies but two others dodge? Well sorry but that turn expended four stock instead of just one and now it's the enemies turn. Conversely scoring a crit, or hitting a weakness, adds stock to your turn- allowing players to prolong the punishment. A pretty cool tactical change-up to traditional turn taking, I actually really like it!

Another interesting aspect of SMT combat that literally no one felt necessary to tell me was the fact that debuffs and buffs stack. Only in SMT- they stack up to four times and last until dispelled. This is pretty much essential information because one stack of buffs fails to be enough to achieve anything pretty much right away necessitating familiarity with how to work this tools. Especially on hard difficulty, if you haven't got a fog breath build by the end of the game you might as well kiss your chances of finishing goodbye as every enemy rocks up with an extra 6 stocks per turn- you need to be able to force those misses! I would have appreciated a tutorial on that matter at some point, though- or some sort of visual indicator to tell me how buffed I was or how debuffed an enemy is. But I guess we all start somewhere, huh.

Demons are of course SMTs original iterations of what would come to be known as 'Personas' in their more popular franchise- and these creatures come to populate the world you explore and beat the foes you fight. (Similar to Persona 5.) They even have personalities that become relevant when you need to fill out your party by recruiting them in the middle of a fight (on the last survivor, obviously) during which Nocturne throws everything in your way from Quizzes to monetary demands that either accept or rejecting can be the right choice. Honestly, there's a hint of creativity I commend in this idea- even if the entire system is much more trouble than it's worth. Being stuck with an underpowered party because the game keeps RNG-ing every demon you talk to running away is a slap around the face to an already frustrating gameplay experience- without having to then wrestle with the fact that you're supposed to try and recruit only on the new stage of the moon cycles that rotate every 10 steps throughout the game. (Which, of course, is never explained anywhere because this game was made by and for insane people.)

At least in the later game you have so much funds, and have enough demons already registered, to be able to just fuse a decent party. And that's where the natural charm of ATLUS games starts to shine through. Building teams of Demons with complimentary skills and affinities is always fun no matter what the Megaten game, and learning all the quirks of the system just amplifies the amount of small details you can dedicate yourself to. Such as how the Mitami Demons don't change demons but rather reinforce their stats on fusion- or how certain special demons can only be fused at a certain stage of moon being up- those are cool little things the game doesn't explain to you and which don't scupper the experience by not knowing. Push and pull.

Ah, but all this talk of being in 'parties', and using 'Demon' companions belies the core most sensation that Nocturne exemplifies so much you might even call it a core philosophy of the entire story: loneliness. Given that the vast majority of mankind has died it shouldn't come as any great surprise that you aren't exactly rubbing shoulders with fellow mortals all that often but SMT 3 takes that to the extreme. Those handful of survivors aren't like the supporting cast you find in your average Persona game, they are all singularly disaffected and disengaged. Islands to themselves that persist to shape the vortex world in their own images and bring those ideologies to fruition.

You see, the heart of SMT 3's narrative is based around this idea of 'extremist solutions to the world's ills'. In fact, you might say that is something of a prevailing echo in these plots if what I've read about SMT 1 is worth anything. Seeing the faults in our world is one thing, but how about serious discussion into rebalancing the world in a grand restart? Reforming our way of life to focus around exemplification of solitude or total dedication towards the worship of unchanging serenity or complete fulfilment and individual happiness? In isolation these sound like worthy pursuits but faced as actual world policies even the populist measure one can seemingly imagine seeps into dictatorial decrees or regressive indulgence.

Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne does not necessary wave these ideologies in your face to pick holes in them, but rather presents these ways of thinking and the types of people who can end up formulating such dreamlike, if flimsy, extreme ideals. It's really the vast tracks of land you have to walk between objectives, the funky soundtracks, the isolation- that gives you room to really digest it all. That and the way that no matter what the cause, whichever group of demons or angels is formed to bring it all to life, it all seems to waver and crumble to ruin. There's no such thing as the perfect world, the perfect society or the perfect idea- and we get to see that play out time and time again in a relatively lean narrative- cutting away all the excess.

But what I'm commending there is the meat of the narrative- not the presentation. Nocturne is an old game and the age shows in the structure of the game and the way most of it's story beats are quite literally shuffling your way across the world driven by vague pointers from passing non-hostile demons in order to hear a cutscene before being pushed somewhere else. It is not all that engaging and that lets down the breadth of what the audience is being asked to treat with somewhat involved introspection. It kind of feels like stumbling around lecture halls around the world's biggest, and most deserted, and most dangerous, university campus. Really the only place where Nocturne actually tries to go above and beyond with it's presentation is within their dungeon mazes- and let me tell you something about their dungeon mazes...

The Nocturne community seems fairly self aware about the pain-points of the franchise they love, but when it comes to the dungeons they will fall on their sword to defend them. Which surprises me given that nearly all of Nocturne's mid to late game dungeons are eye-gougingly bloated mazes stuffed silly with false turns, dead-ends, traps and time stealers. You'll be dropped down a floor for taking the wrong corner, teleported to the other side of the map thanks to an utterly random and invisible trap-teleporter, be treated to an obtuse upside down dungeon which requires moon logic in order to solve. (Give a spoon to a NPC that looks identical to all others around him so that he can dig a hole through a stone floor. I'm not making that up.) These are all asinine.

And I like the idea of creative dungeons, don't get me wrong. Giving us more to do than just 'kill the unique enemy types' is engaging on paper and I wonder if Persona dungeons might be more interesting with a little bit more to them- but the amount this game invests into making these sprawling diatribes into madness defies belief. You can spend actual hours trying to figure out what is even the correct way to go in some of these later mazes, particularly the final one which slaps you with so many random, unprompted, teleportation's you'd be forgiven for thinking there isn't a way through at all. But there is! It's just painfully long to reach through. My favourite of these was a little moon-cycles addition puzzle that was related to a three-prong boss fight in that last dungeon- but of course that ended up being stretched out past the point of novelty because this comes from the age were JRPG meant 'I'm taking all your time and punishing you for ever having it to begin with.'

When it comes to the optional dungeons in the Labyrinth of Amala I was much more forgiving about the crazed puzzle navigation because they both felt more fitting over there and, crucially, never dragged themselves out to painful degrees. In fact, the later Kalpas become curiously more straightforward as they went along- as though someone recognised that the challenge of the bosses themselves was the actual draw of the gameplay and the journey to face them should be a bit more direct. God knows what possessed the original team to decree the path to the final bosses should be an invisible mousetrap hellhole- but I hope they learnt to temper themselves in future titles. Gimmick dungeons are cool, frustrating puzzles for the sake of time wasting is not. 

But speaking of Amala- these is an entire network of optional bosses and dungeon unique to the rerelease editions of the game that all really amp up the challenge at the various points of the narrative in which they're introduced. The menorah holders all, alongside the boy and his maid, provide perhaps the clearest questions and answers in the game and thus drew me more to their story than to the overarching main plot. This alone makes it somewhat contentious with fans of the original game, who see the inclusion of an alternative route through this plot as an imposition upon its themes and values- but personally I like the agency of taking this world of choice and giving the player their own place within it, instead of just expecting their capitulation to another's dream as the core game does- even if this alternative route is, in some ways, a manipulation from the mind of the master deceiver themselves.

In these alternative optional routes throughout the game comes a unique companion, which makes the only non-demon character in the game that you can actually recruit and thus oddly the only friend it feels like you can make in the desolate world. Within the Japanese version of the game that friend is a cameo from the Devil Summoners games, and in the European version they are... Dante from Devil May Cry? I'm not kidding- for some insane reason Dante is a character within this game and his inclusion is as random as that sounds. The new voice acting introduced with the Nocturne re-release also brings the modern Dante rather than the DMC 2 boring version of him that would have been accurate to the time of the release too- so the man has some charisma! Another controversial addition for a community that seems to recoil in the face of change- but I enjoyed seeing a oddly fitting addition from across franchises in this world of demons. (I also very much appreciated his Stinger sword which cuts through the type system!) 

Speaking of- yes Nocturne's recent Steam Release is slightly different from even the original re-release editions all those years ago in a couple of interesting ways. In one, the game comes with new voice acting from a cast that are more modern than the original game was- providing a performance that was actually solidly good and broke my brain for a time as I couldn't reconcile an early 2000's JRPG with quality localisation acting that talented. As it turns out the original was voice acting free which- again- means that series veterans harrumph and grumble that the new voice acting 'ruins the mood' of the original. Because at this point they'd complain if the game ran better. (You can mute the voices if it kills your mood that much.) More pressingly, however, some of the dialogue was also retranslated- which leads to some straight anachronistic moments were terms such as "Simp" are dropped- actually undercutting the mood. Otherwise the port is pretty solid. 

As you've likely deduced if you've any knowledge of this game, I ended up pursuing the path of the True Demon throughout my hard playthrough and, honestly, that was kind of a masochist choice on my end. Like I had to prove something for my own mistake of choosing 'hard'. What I willingly subjected myself to was something of the alternative path that takes something of a detached look at the conflict between the various reasons that seek to shape reality- whilst assaulting you with some of the difficult bosses that the game has to offer. Menorah holding horsemen of a vaguely apocalyptic nature, these damage wall roadblocks demanded full mastery of every tactic available to you at that level in order to progress- pushing you up to the wall in a way that not many other RPGs make too much of a habit of.

This is also the way into my favourite dungeon of Amrita, even if they did suffer from the most confusing 'checkpoint' system possible alongside an honestly comically annoying 'minigame' travelling between each Kalpa. As brutal as it can be I think the Megaten combat works at it's absolute best when you are pushed up against a wall using every tactic to get ahead- that's when the veneer of 'just affinity hunting' falls away and actual strategic planning takes hold- managing buffs, baiting reactions, sometimes even drawing aggro when possible. At it's best you'll get a tough duel you'll feel like you earned- at worst you'll bang your head against a wall of perpetual bad luck.

The final boss of this mode had me sweating even up against the level cap- which is startling when compared to my other experiences playing ATLUS games. I was up against a enemy so unpredictable that I literally no idea whether any of his attacks would magically oneshot me every turn- and don't get me started with his health pool- good god! But in the manner of all the best challenging games out there- I relished that fight because of how unfathomable of a hill it seemed to climb, I relish the achievement of having overcome it and I respect the ending it gave me. Even if some might say that the True Demon Ending is the least conclusive out of all the endings. Such as me- kind of felt like a beginning.

Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne is a master of atmosphere draped across the widely successful demon-collecting and affinity hunting framework that has ensured ATLUS' continued success across all of these years. It does suffer a lot of pain points of a game of it's age however- lacking the neatness of well presented narrative events the game coasts by on admittedly powerful vibes and a fascinating scenario- which do a lot of heavy lifting but don't relieve all sins. Also, a lot of Nocturne's difficulty is tied to the ever annoying 'explain nothing to the player' style of presentation which keeps an artificial mystery around what is otherwise a decently fun JRPG monster collector-style game. They don't even explain what moon cycles are let alone how oddly important they'll decide to be or not be on random systems throughout the game.

Otherwise challenge is deferred to genuinely tough bosses or frustrating gauntlets of dungeons that stretch on for what feels like hours at a time. As is the case with many old RPGs, however, often that difficulty devolves into cheese. Be it a roadblock enemy who dumps moves of a higher tier than you can currently do- basically forcing you to go off and grind up 10 or so levels, or a stalker boss who literally follows you around the map and forces you into a boss fight you can't win. There's that one guy who spams 'Beast Eye' giving himself unlimited turns, (that was because of a bug, but it still sucked) and then the moments when you're literally at the whims of an AI's random choice whether it decides to kill you. Nocturne all too often slips into the worst side of challenge and not always in a way that feels worthwhile on the otherside.

At the very least the rerelease came with exclusive grind dungeons to make up for this. Two unique areas, one offering money grinding and the other EXP grinding, and both in a way that isn't just cheating- it's time saving. You still have to go through a ton of successive fights, you still have to deal with an unforgiving drop rate calculation and you'll still be spending considerable grinding time- you just don't have to spend tens of hours in order to grind up for the big finale bosses. Well... not multiple tens of hours at least... Behind the frustration the general quality of Megaten game systems holds the game up just enough, which is why I bet a Normal playthrough wouldn't be too bad at all for the average, non psychotic, player.

SMT had a reputation in my head ever since I heard the first game was literally about tyrannical order and uncaged chaos symbolised in heaven versus hell- and I'm glad to see that even by their third iteration the franchise was finding nuanced and interesting ways to subvert those universal black and white conflicts. In terms of gameplay there have definitely been better Megaten games since and I don't believe there's any special spark of SMT 3's take on the formula that draws my heart it's direction. But for World and scenario, atmosphere and mood, narrative and pathos- I'd say that Nocturne is worth at least one run through. Maybe even a watch through if you can't stand the prospect of it's painfully tuned difficulty settings. Where does that sit on a grade scale? It's a difficult one. In the moment I would have probably graded lower but there is a certain fondness the game has left me with in the weeks since- so lets call it an even B+ Grade. Above the average, but lacking the overall mark of quality that higher grades denote. Still, I enjoyed my time and have moved on to other SMT and general Megaten games since to see if any one gets the balance just right- I have high hopes in 'SMT V: Vengeance'! 

So the Funko game came out...

 

There comes a time every few years when the corporate world within which we resides just need to expel itself. No mask, no airs, no double-speak- just a straight squat and blast-out of all that gunk they've digested over the years into a purely distilled lump of capitalism. For the movie world that was the Bobbleheads Movie- oh yeah, I consider that even worse than the Emoji Movie- which was least entertainingly creatively bankrupt. And the video game world is not immune to such trends either, as evidenced by the recently released Funko Pop game which absolutely stunk to the high heavens for any and all who spared it even the most passing glance because come on- a Funko Pop movie? Really? Are we so out of touch- no, it's the studios who are wrong.

So there's a chance you haven't actually heard of this and are currently weighing up my mental fortitude after hearing talk of a Funko Pop video game but I swear this thing was announced at an actual industry event! It was brushed under the rug by an unbelieving populace desperate to insist that we weren't that far gone as a society just yet- but it happened, it was revealed- there's no hiding from your shame! And should that really be so much of a surprise? Does no one remember how a few years ago the only love that the Gears of War franchise saw was a mobile tactics game called 'Gears Pop' that stunned and bewildered the world? It actually lasted for a bit before predictably shutting down with a 'we did everything we wanted to do' kind of corporate lie message. So there was some weak level of precedent there!

What the actual fully fledged console-tuned Funko game wanted to do was basically copy the Disney Infinity Formula which in turn copied the Lego Dimensions formula which evolved the TTGames Lego game formula and turned it more cynical and cash grabby. Basically we're talking about open world levels draped across basic 3d platforming and puzzle solving only with a vast cast of cross franchise characters crudely inserted into ill-fitting franchise themed environments. A simple pleasure to be honest- and one which has actually made me want to play a Lego game. Give me a second, there's a bunch I haven't got around to yet and I'm gonna go install one right now. (Because that is what sensible people do when they want their kiddie game fix- they play the timeless classics that work just as fine as they always did!)

Where Funko perhaps stood out from the pack just that little bit is the sheer amount of properties that the Funko brand has gotten ahold of over the years. You might call them the Fortnite of the crappy merchandising world, creating figures of everything from Marvel characters to obscure 60's artists. I will never forget the absolute confusion by which I witnessed the Frank Zappa Funko Pop and just despaired at this desecration of a man who would have spat at such a property as this. Utilising those brands in a crossover capacity actually gave Funko considerably more flexibility than literally anyone other new comer to this space, if only they could get together and make a platform worth hosting them all on together. And to that end... well... games are hard to make, okay?

The Funko game is pretty much what you get when the mandate comes down to make as malleable of a children's game as it is possible to make because somehow this framework is going to need to be stretched to fit every property under the sun. This is the reason why those utter morons who preached about how WEB3 was going to totally revolutionise asset ownership within games were beyond help- they operated with the same one brain cell that these wierdoes do. To be clear- Funko Fusion appears to function as a game. But as a bland action adventure shooting game lacking charm or passion in pretty much any facet. And that goes from 'serviceable for kids' to 'kind of a waste of time and money' when you realise that this isn't a kids game- just look at the brands involved!

For one you have Hot Fuzz, yeah they kidnapped British comedy classic Hot Fuzz- I'm not happy about it either. That movie is pretty gory, excessively so for bizarre and usefully grotesquely humourous effect- but certainly not a kid's property. And this emulates that, playing out the beats of the story including that famous scene of a man's head being utterly obliterated by a falling church spire. (Terrible accident, that.) There's also an Invincible world, which may be a cartoon but... yeah, the children aren't surviving that season unscarred. And a JAWS world- wait- sorry I can't get over this. There is now a JAWS level in a video game... what am I supposed to do with that information other than weep? All and all- we have cheap kids game effort being put into a non kids game product. So what are the results?

Less than a thousand Steam players in the launch window. That's rough, buddy. What's rougher are the review scores, and the only defenders being those who go "wow these member-berries sure taste great!", because that is the literal only value this game represents. Otherwise it's buggy, uncreative, bland, repetitive, unloved, reductively derivative, thin boned, meagre and sad. And those are the adjectives taken from the kinder critics out there! Which I suppose in a roundabout way actually makes Funko Fusion one of the greatest adaptations ever made- because it captures the soulless hopelessness of the physical product itself to a startling tee. Truly admirable work there, I have to admit!

TTGames have a lot to answer for, both for creating a winning formula for children's games that have reverberated across generations for how timelessly fantastic it is, making it look so easy by producing so many of those games that anyone thinks they can do it, and then abandoning it with their recent ventures thus leaving the stage open for hacks to take their shot at the king. Truly you have created nothing when the mere sight of this game only drives me to opine of what new property TTGames could feasibly Lego-ise in their traditional fashion which would be worlds better than this... Honestly, I would unironically go crazy for a Game of Thrones Lego game- as much as that would absolutely never happen ever. Makes a heck of a dream, though... What were we talking about again? Can't remember.

Why can't Alone in the Dark catch a break?

 

Alone in the Dark is a game of a giant legacy- specifically within the horror world where it can be considered one of the backbones that shaped what modern horror gaming has become. But out of all the 'grandfathers of this industry' so to speak- I don't think anyone holds their pedigree as loosely as Alone in the Dark does. It's startling. I'd reckon that Clocktower gets more lips service as 'influential media' than Alone in the Dark receives- and when I think about- I'd chalk that down to the genuinely awful reputation this franchise has held onto for all the failed revisions, resurrections and adaptations that collectively poisoned this proverbial well. Let me present the worst of these messes and pose the question to you- does Alone in the Dark deserve more respect than we give it?

Alone in the Dark was a pioneer in 1992 as what is said to be the 'the first survival horror game', featuring one gloriously moustachioed man called Edward Carnby and a nowhere near as iconic woman, traversing their way out of a dangerous house full of puzzles, supernatural foes and weight-based inventory management. The game was the first to really present staples that the best of the survival genre exemplify, non-linear level layout, limited resource maintenance- the horror not of being out of control, but being in control and not knowing if that's enough to get out of the situation. Honestly that original Alone in the Dark strikes me as such a lighting rod for horror that it's frankly unbelievable we don't talk about it in the same breadth as say 'Resident Evil' or 'Silent Hill'.

Of course, this is coming from someone who's first experience with this franchise was the lamentably confused 2008 revival which, upon reflection, reeks of 'unfocused updating' energy. Starring a greased haired creep with no moustache that is somewhat disrespectfully labelled 'Edward Carnby'. Rather than presenting a non-linear environment to slowly unravel you are 'treated' to linear episodes that are offered in a DVD-style menu screen with 'previously on' segments and all. For literally no reason. It's not like video tapes or DVDs have anything thematically to do with this franchise, they just did it. The game was also sprinkled with set pieces such as fighting non-descript monsters down an elevator shaft, at least one car chase (there might have been two) and I'm sure I remember a big explosion at the top of a skyscraper. (Although my memory is fuzzy- the game didn't exactly leave any clear impression on me.) It's not a long game and it's not a good game- abandoning everything that original title made unique and adopting general mediocrity in it's wake.

But would you believe that was actually the second mortal blow the franchise was struck in the 2000's? Would you believe me if I told you that 2005 saw a movie adaptation of the... no- I'm not gonna call it an adaptation of the games. That movie was a garbage action trainwreck by Uwe Boll plastered with the Alone in the Dark name atop it despite having absolutely nothing to do with that franchise whatsoever. In theme, in tone, in... narrative. I stand by the belief that Boll had literally no idea what the franchise was and just grabbed whatever IP he could work on. In fact, I blame this movie for AiTD 2008. I don't know how, but somehow it's responsible. I know it.

Which brings us onto the modern game? Absolutely not, because as I just recently reminded myself, like a bullet to the head, there was another disaster product released between the 2008 game and the recent title! Alone in the Dark Illumination was a four person action horror competitive title from 2015 wherein a cool assault gun wielding Carnaby 'descendant', (he's called a 'descendant' despite only being old enough to be a son or nephew at best) a dual-gun wielding Dracula type and two strapped rocker-chicks fight shadowy enemies through themed levels with lightly randomised elements and literally what are we doing anymore? How have we evolved from a franchise literally inspiring Resident Evil to a franchise so lost it's actually copying Resident Evil's awful 2010's co-op trash trend? What went wrong with humanity?

Which now finally brings us to the modern Alone in the Dark game, within which a lightly moustachioed man called, shocker, Edward Carnby and slightly more human female protagonist called Emily Hartwood partake in what is largely a reimagining of the original 1992 title. And the thing about this game- it's actually the best this franchise has seen since the original trilogy that went until 1995. (Remember when games took a year or less to make? What a time!) It stays true to the formula of the original, basing itself around survival elements around a large exploration-heavy environment utilising the dual protagonist set-up to actually explore distinct viewpoints across the same plot somewhat intriguingly. But the game still bombed.

To be clear, the game is no hidden masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination. Alone in the Dark doesn't feature the greatest writing we've ever seen under the sun and the launch was buggy, controlled somewhat heavily and just felt largely dated in the wake of the incredible Resident Evil Remakes that pushed this franchise to the cutting edge. But to be honest- I'd consider that an unfair comparison to make. Alone in the Dark was never a huge budget franchise and Resident Evil is the belle of the horror ball, adjust your expectations and this new game is certainly fine for what it is and what went into it and, in those respects, went somewhat underappreciated by both critics and the gaming public. At the very least it plays better than Callisto Protocol. 

So Alone in the Dark both cannot catch a break when it tries to spin itself off in wildly bizarre directions trying to seize a new audience, nor when it goes back to it's honoured routes. So why can't this franchise catch a break? Honestly, I think it lost it's spot in history. That might sound callous, but seriously- what is considered the grandfather of video game horror? Resident Evil. The game that took everything which Alone in the Dark presented and sharpened it to a knife's point. They refined and reiterated on what that original simply opined and and elevated the source material to such a point they became the source material. Resident Evil surpassed the father and now there's no place even for respectful consideration put his way.

Alone in the Dark is a game that had it's influence in the gaming pantheon- but I don't ever think it will be a classic worth returning to for anyone but the historically inclined. Nothing of what that original game did is so unique to warrant revisiting, and no attempt to 'modernise' it's quirks survives the translation in a meaningful way. The effort to make this brand a modern day competitor would be so extreme that there's little reason to not just make something wholly new and start from there- it's not like 'Brand recognition' has gotten anyone anywhere with this brand so far. So alas this franchise is likely to slip into hibernation once again, unloved, alone and in the dark.

The Annapurna disappearance

 

Few would call this the 'golden age of gaming' given the current straits. I mean sure- we get some incredible games come our way every now and then and those who claim that every new game is a disastrous rip off is simply foolish. If you have half a mind to be able to look you can find pure gold just about anywhere from the past few years alone, not to mention the absolute classics tucked away in the past. No, for today it really is more of a hellscape for the humble developer as they try to keep their job amidst a near-unassailable wall of layoffs and downsizing that is going to slowly exorcise all humans from the AAA video game development world by 2030. All under the excuse of rectifying the over-hiring spree from the Pandemic- which is becoming increasingly an unbelievable scapegoat as they layoffs span out.

This feels more like general margin tightening spurred on by a tech industry that is suddenly hot and bothered about squeezing their books ever since some extreme examples gave them the idea- and now suddenly a AAA developer job is becoming rarer than a Rhino in the Lake District. Which is wild considering those jobs don't even generate that much of an income anyway. I mean sure- high paying tech roles can get away with making themselves all exclusive and prestigious but your average gaming company? Kind of feels like everyone is pushing themselves ever closer to a cliff that they won't have enough hands to scramble up from on the other end. But I ain't an economist, nor a fortune teller, I can't opine to any great degree on the future of the industry. I can gawk at the Annapurna Interactive incident though- which may just be the craziest yet.

What I speak of is the prolific indie publisher Annapurna that is responsible for basically all the highest profile indie games of the past few years that you've heard of or played. What Remains of Edith Finch, Donut Country, Ashen, Gone Home, Outer Wilds, Solar Ash, Neon White, Stray- like just about every single high profile indie game under the sun. They were also working on their first in-house developed game which was apparently going to be a Blade Runner universe narrative game designed to tie into the Anime that I'm only just finding out exists. They ain't no small potatoes and they haven't been hit with a round of layoffs if that's what you're anticipating. Nope, instead they just stopped. Stopped existing, that is.

In what might be one of the most bizarre 'employee solidarity' moves I can remember seeing in the tech space, all of Annapurna just resigned in the same breath after a failed bid to spin the company off to independency. And I'm still struggling to comprehend how that even happens. Now Annapurna was not a giant corporate entity, I hasten to add. They had 25 employees and thus it's not unreasonable they'd all be a tight-knit unit: well, I guess it's proven that they are given the arguably extreme choice to walk away and leave the company empty. Actually, I suppose that's a projection, isn't it? The thought of them all just leaving the company building empty and abandoned in a single protest? I guess they didn't have to literally leave the building condemned. (It would be an awful waste of office space if they did. Presuming they even have an office.)

Now like a true neanderthal I actually did not know about Annapurna's film arm, itself a successful media company that has it's name attached to some legendary modern day pictures... and Sausage Party. As far as I can tell Annapurna very much wanted their independence as an individual company and failed to get that to work- and so it seems the team just decided to do it anyway. I can't speak to intentions but it very much seems like the plan it to simply disband and reform under a totally new name, leaving behind perhaps rights they may have held onto but maintaining whatever freedoms they were searching for in such negotiations- and in that way there's an admirable tinge to this- even if the optics at this time look terrible.

Without going into the details of what happened this looks like a successful team straight up giving up on this studio out of the blue, and I'm sure that's spooky to a lot of devs trying to get into this world of publishing as an indie. To my end it's a shame we're losing avenues for real quality indie games to shine because that market is so overstuffed with content that it's hard for the real go-getters to get their time in the sun. You really need to be on the pulse of the industry to know what's worth picking up, and I might be- but that's only because I'm a loser freak with too much time on my hands. Your average internet weirdo has way more interesting stuff to occupy their daily thoughts other than 'what cool indie is rocking around the blocks'.

And then I just think about those working with studios in the now- which appears to be quite a few other developers if their Wikipedia is to be believed. Imagine you are an indie studio working with a renowned publisher who promises to handle the marketing and distribution and then they just implode. Your avenue to getting your product in front of an audience just straight up leaves the office in a spectacular display. How isolating! I know that there are some bigger companies working with Annapurna, such as Remedy, who say their deal for a Control Sequel is absolutely undisturbed by all this- but that could very much be the exception as far as we know. Some of the smaller partners might be scrambling for alternatives at this very moment.

Overall it's a bad look for the industry to have studios upending themselves every other day like this. Whether it's lay-offs, cutbacks or full-on studios disbanding at the drop of the hat- the games industry is looking more and more like a bad opportunity generator which- to be honest- isn't attractive to up and coming tech industry majors. Sure anyone passionate about the craft is going to get involved one way or another- but what's the point joining a shrivelling industry that will just can you in a month or two- because that's the way we're going. I worry deeply that given our trajectory, the next 10 years are going to be very lean times for the top of our industry- and I really hope those studios are aware of exactly what they're getting themselves into.

The open casket autopsy of Concord

 

So the fall of the Concord as it was shot out of space is a well documented disaster we've all had our fill of. Some may call it morbid and destructive how giddily people latched on to the downfall, as though we are now celebrating failure more than success- but I think such a viewpoint wontly forgets what the product we're talking about represented. As a live service, that stuck of the cynicism of corporate pandering and trend chasing- the success of Concord very much was pitted to make waves across the industry. Just like how the success of Fifa introduced the medium to harmful practises, if Playstation's push for a Live Service future had it's chance to cement that would have led to wide spread stunting of the development of this art as a medium. Heck, some might argue the stunted development of this generation in particular is tacitly due to Live Service trash shackling the leaders of our Industry. Personally I think the cause is the Series S, but that's an argument for another blog.

What I want to talk about today is not so much the Concord we got, but the Concord that was dreamt about by sweating executives up in their ivory towers. What was it about this seemingly inoffensive franchise game that made everyone totally immune to the readily apparent truth that the audience this title was gearing itself towards had moved on elsewhere. Personally I think any aspirations of an Overwatch clone should have entered some serious doubt stages when the Steam launch of Overwatch 2 was met with overwhelmingly negative reception. Although I guess an optimist might see that as an opportunity to leapfrog the competition with a well placed successor. Truly there is no black and white with these sorts of projects.

Now before Sony Firewalk Studios was a Washington based asylum for refugees of Bungie and Activision that came together with an image in mind for high quality multiplayer experiences outside of the purview of the big studios. They put their talents to work on a successor game to Overwatch and nurtured that baby with an eye for cutting edge fidelity and uncompromising quality- very high bars set by industry professionals who thought they knew what they were doing. How, with that experience behind them, they ended up manging to bloat their development to 200,000 million (reportedly) is beyond me, as those are the kind of numbers that would make a big publisher blush. Outside of one incendiary and explosive new podcast mention there doesn't really seem to be any other journalist who can validate it- let alone what Playstation put in afterwards.

Because yes, Sony saw the game, what they made and decided to throw another 200 million to get it finished- which were needed because the game was not in a pretty state back then. Now should we take these highly contentious numbers as true, and I personally veer to disbelief simply for how nonsensical that even is as a proposition, then this would make Concord one of Playstation's biggest spends of all time. Not including the money to buy the studio, of course. But saying it is all true, the question would have to be asked of 'why'? Why did Sony spend some much money on this game, why did they acquire the studio and most importantly, and confusingly, why did they bitterly refuse to market the thing when it came to launch?

As the stories go, Playstation saw something in Concord that no one else in the planet could see- they saw the future. Their future. Concord was the embodiment of everything that the company was building itself towards in all of it's gangly and gaudy life service ignominy- whatsmore as a new franchise with the promise of heavily sci-fi world building- the analogy to this being a new-age Star Wars was dropped which, in a vacuum, kind of makes sense. How you could realistically compare what Concord had to offer with a pop culture phenom like Star Wars is a bit more questionable but I guess when you live and breath corporate speak overinflation is a way of life- isn't it? The point is that Concord was a bet that Playstation thought it was their duty to take- hence the heavy investment in buying up the studio and ensuring the product made it to ship.

But with that much pressure in the tank, with big boy Sony itself kneeling on your back, it can become all to easy to slip into that pattern of 'this has to come out no matter what'. With everything that was said to be riding on Concord, dissent was less seen as constructive critique and more roadblocks to the future that everyone was striving towards. The term 'Toxic positivity' has been coined for environments such as these, where cracks and issues are smoothed over and undue praise is visited where perhaps it isn't deserved allowing for missteps to be ironed into stone. As much as I consider the sourcing vague and unsubstantiated in this matter- this would go someway to explain how feedback as clear as the pathetic performance of the game's open beta sparked on alarm bells whatsoever for how the full, premium priced, product would perform.

The only question that these revelations don't answer- and in fact the one they just draw a bigger underlining mark under, is what the heck Sony were doing with their marketing! I mean sure, they funded a Concord exclusive episode in Amazon's upcoming 'Secret Level' series- but that doesn't assist the launch! Honestly if this game were at least given the typical banner ad + Advert barrage marketing push it would have at least crossed the 5000 player mark on Steam. The fact that no one knew it was coming out from outside of the circle of industry followers- and we didn't care for it- was just the perfect nail in the coffin for this game's chances. Unless Sony really believed the product was strong enough to promote grass routes marketing. It wasn't.

Before this I assumed that Concord was a relatively low stakes investment outside of those invested in the studio itself and that this game would see a quiet free-to-play rerelease in December and fade into the background with a small audience that would stick with it for a year until the plug is pulled. That was my assumption. Now I wonder if Sony even has the hubris to admit that this never had the potential that they thought it did and give it a solemn and toned-in launch. At this point it really is an insult to their bottom line not to push this game into becoming their next multimedia empire and if it can't be that- it would be better off cancelled altogether. But how does one cancel a game that was already released and then un-released? These next few months are really going to show us the face of Sony in crisis and how well they react. (Can't be worse than modern Xbox, surely?)

The Bioware I used to know

 

I did something utterly insane the other day. I did something that there was a good chance no one else in the entire world was also doing at that exact time despite the horrifically easy accessibility of it to just about anyone. I loaded up Anthem. And let me just specify- I'm not talking about logging into my packed Anthem character from back in the yesteryear to check out my stats and gear for nostalgia's sake- because no such character exists. I never played Anthem before, but I was curious and I wanted to satiate that curiosity by playing what many would consider the beginning of the end for the once-beloved RPG studio known as Bioware. And as we trudge ever closer to one of the most confusing 'comeback' attempts ever, headed by a studio who don't appear to resemble the developers we once saw as the saviours of the western RPG- I can't help but think back to the Bioware that I used to know and recolour my lens with what I now know.  

There is no sugarcoating it- Bioware was very much the company that introduced me to what an RPG was as a gamer. The first RPG I really fell over in heels for was Fallout 3, but Bethesda have always developer action RPGs- good ones, but not into the intricacies of the TTRPG-inspired titles like the genre-type was born from. Bethesda games do their best to live by those basic principals but disguise them as cleverly as possible behind more accessible gameplay systems and friendly-facing loops. For which there is no problem, I endeavour to impress. There is a lamentable distaste for 'accessible' games out there that render games like Skyrim inferior because they aren't as RPG dense as predecessors like Morrowind despite, you know, Morrowind's gameplay being ass. Morrowind serves an endlessly fascinating world with a curiously politically charged narrative that bears few equals- but don't pretend you get a rush from duking it out with those snore-fest combat systems- please! Bioware very much occupied a similar space of the RPG industry, but with a greater emphasis to the routes of RPGs.

Mass Effect and Dragon Age were my favourite games of their type- Sci Fantasy and 'apparently' Dark Fantasy worlds that felt brimming with stories, potential and life: they were limitless in my eyes. Immersive universes propped up on treasure troves of lore, character and imagination. These were the pinnacle of RPGs. It really is amazing, in hindsight, just home much heavy lifting the story-telling chops of the team were, considering how comparatively rudimentary these games were on a raw level. Satisfying, no doubt, and just deep enough to sustain themselves- but nowhere near the level of robust complexity that later and former CRPGS would champion- I would come to recognise that far too late not to take it for granted.

So sold I was into the Bioware way of doing things that I never questioned the odd weak narrative plot point here and there because I just figured they knew what they were doing, masters of their world like they were. It would take the distance of years to look back and see how Tali's whole narrative throughout Mass Effect 2 actually ended up going nowhere, or how strangely written Overlord is in the grand scheme of the series- I'm still not all that upset about how the ending of three either, because I always just looked at the entirety of Mass Effect 3 as the consequence of the decisions that came before and don't really hold a grudge that the state of the universe was condensed into three resolutions because... well what do you want? That's the best you could hope for! Bioware had me wrapped around their little fingers.

Which is why Anthem felt like such a betrayal, I should think. All that time spent building this intricate worlds that feel like ours to shape- giant sprawling narratives- and what we got was the absolute anthesis to all of that. At least Mass Effect Andromeda took what was there and made something cool out of it- at least in my opinion- but the money went into Anthem and that game turned out to be a misguided pipedream leading in a direction that no one rightly understood. Dragon Age Inquisition was good, but started to slip into that old pattern of 'overpromising' that might be common amidst AAA, but never for Bioware- and then it all fell apart with. It just seems like the 2010's in general were not kind ton the company.

Which brings us to the 2020's. Bioware has been quiet for the last 10 years regarding Dragon Age and to be honest- I don't really see the vision in their new game. Beyond the bad marketing which set off alarm bells for many out there- it was the actual gameplay that set the chills up my spine and everything I've seen since has cemented my feelings that something wrong has entered the pipeline and been allowed to fester. Apparently somewhere along the way someone fostered the belief that party based tactical gameplay was bad. Not just 'no longer vogue' but actively 'to be avoided'- and now they've settled to developing an action adventure slasher... at the same time as some other studios have gone the same path and now I have to compare this game with titles it doesn't really feel ready to go up against.

Let me see- are there any other traditional RPG games that switched to hack and slash recently? Oh wait... aren't the new Final Fantasy games startling examples of this kind of gameplay? Yeah- when you decide to focus heavily on the action gameplay you shift into the quality of that gameplay and Bioware... haven't really absorbed new play styles very well. Then again it cannot be denied that the currently make up of the company is entirely distinct from the legendary Bioware of all, so maybe all these new people are simply clueless when it comes to complex RPG mechanics but can whip up a hack'n'slash when push comes to shove? I don't know, I'm trying to keep together over here.

The Bioware that I used to know always made me feel excited, the always presented a new vision of what their franchise was that felt additive onto the experience. They always made me feel like we as an audience were progressing towards something. I don't see that anymore. 'Veilgaurd' doesn't make me feel much of anything to be honest. And maybe that's just me growing past Bioware as a company and the games they made- even old faithfuls like Origins feel a little quaint now even compared to some of their more complex contemporaries, but certainly in the face of more modern sweeping epics like 'Pathfinder: Kingmaker' and 'Baldur's Gate 3'. I hope they can win me back, but maybe that's the kind of optimism best saved for the Bioware that I used to know. 

RGG got me again...

 

It's barely been a few weeks since I celebrated the fact that the sheer awfulness of RGG's new mobile online Yakuza shovel wear app was so useless that I could happily ignore it upon release. I could take this as an excuse to have a year off from the Like a Dragon franchise and play some other things, not get burnt out on the games I love and maybe find a new obsession or two down the line. (Currently trying to get into the wider spectrum of ATLUS games- Souls Hackers 2 is a bit of an odd one I'm dealing with right now.) See, I had heard the comment earlier in the year about how the next RGG game was absolutely not going to be something that we're expecting and I assumed that was designed to foreshadow that crappy mobile game. Turns out that was such a non-entity they didn't even consider that an actual game upcoming on their docket. This was what they meant.

So by now you've probably heard the news but if you haven't hear it is- RGG are going to release 'Like a Dragon: Pirates in Hawaii' which is going to do pretty much what it says on the tin, give us a new look at the Hawaii setting from the high seas controlling a pirate. And who is this pirate? Do you really need me to tell you that? Which of the cast they chose to become a swashbuckling, sea surfing, treasure hunting plunderer of the deep seas? The only member of the cast to already have an eye-patch rocking up his visage! Oh yeah, it's a Majima starring game making this actually his first run as a leading man since Yakuza 0 (and the short extra campaign designed for Kiwami 2 I suppose- but I really just see that as a wrap up to the 0 storyline) and I believe his first time ever as the sole principal character of a game, barring some obscure side title I currently don't know about.

I wanted an offering so paltry that I had no reason to dedicate my time towards it- and instead they served me up something I and the community have been waiting for since a lot of us first got invested in this franchise to begin with... it's not fair I tells ya! There's so much we don't know about the character of Majima and what's going on in his world. From the end of Yakuza 0 onwards he purposefully puts on a mask of fake-insanity so potent it feels like genuine whip lash when his personal life slips into the forefront for a brief while. Who remembers the stun-lock of learning that Majima had a wife for several years and they got divorced? Just slipped that one into Yakuza 5 and carried on like it was nothing. I've waited so long to touch base with the real man underneath the mask I don't even know if we'll recognise who he is anymore.

Of course, it's not just having Majima be our starring man which has me invested- it's also the fact that this is going to be a real time action game, like all of my favourite games from this franchise are, and it isn't going to just be a copy-paste of fighting styles we've already seen in previous games. Not that I really expect that from RGG, they haven't ever resorted to that before, but considering they're making these games every year and literally just put out their biggest game ever earlier this year- they'd be forgiven for taking their foot off the gas pedal for just a little bit. But of course, RGG are a demonic entity that can slap out game of the year contenders every year whilst western studios struggle to put out high quality sequels with 4 year (at minimum) development cycles. It's like we're looking at totally different industries out there!

Pirate game lovers have of course been pretty raw served in recent times thanks to the 10 year wait for Ubisoft's soft fart of a project, the AAAA 'Skull and Bones' sleeping aide/ game. I can't help but wonder whether this game will provide something more akin the swashbuckling fantasy that people wanted? It's hard to say because, despite a seven minute trailer, there was hardly any actual gameplay to tell us what to expect. It was mostly all story teases and wonderment at the sheer fact this was a game being made at all- I can merely glimpse the odd shot of Majima performing a ship docking or riding into port of the franchise's next ridiculously overt underground pleasure club and assume that means we'll have some sort of ship gameplay. What sort? Hard to say.

At the very least there's going to be a lot more down and dirty sword to sword fighting come this game, and given this a Majima story that means a lot of hand-waving and assuming that what is being done somehow isn't fatal. Majima's new sword movement set literally cuts ribbons of slashes into his opponents, but we're just gonna pretend nothing vital is hit and they get prompt medical treatment after fading off the screen. They did the same thing with Ishin, where despite the fact Ryoma wasn't squeamish about killing every now and then his supremely lethal sword-gun combo was proposed to only cause flesh wounds in most every encounter. I wonder if Majima's ship has canons? Does he fill them with confetti shot?

What I'm struggling with most is the framing device of this, because by all accounts this seems to be a spin-off title: what one might refer to as a... gaiden. But there is no 'Like a Dragon: Gaiden' naming convention whatsover and no information on what to expect- is this a full game's worth of content or not? That price certainly makes it seem like a full game- but then I need to remind myself that 60 is the old premium and not the new premium that Infinite Wealth was sold at... but does that mean this is being treated as a lean side game, or an unrelated but still very much complete (Ishin sized) side game? These are the things I really would like to know, and probably won't get to.

But all this means nothing in the grand scheme. Why? Because the 'grand scheme' is that I'm going to play this game. Because it looks silly and I come to this franchise for silly. I wonder about this new ship-based game mode, it has the potential to be a bit shoddy if not given the full amount of love and attention, but I've not regretted playing a single Like a Dragon game yet. Apart from 3. (Screw 3.) So yes, RGG have got me again and I'll never be able to shake this game from my mind long enough to miss it. Woe is me.

Palworld under the hammer

 

The Pokemon successor title that Nintendo told you not to worry about, Palworld, has certainly had something of a year- hasn't it? Exploding onto the scene with a frankly gross amount of initial success right from the moment go, picked up by Gamepass, distributed to the millions on PC, the title became a stable of the scene in no time flat establishing just how desperately people are willing to accept anything with that Pokemon DNA stretched over a more ambitious body. That being said, it really takes some balls to rub your shoes on Nintendo's feet and not expect them to take a bazooka to your offices- thus I stood with many others in absolute shock when months of silence pervaded the conversation about inter-company discourse. Experts clucked their tongues, columnists prepared their obituaries and nothing happened. Until now. Surprise Nintendo Lawsuit. Boom.

Pocketpair confirmed themselves that the big N took a shot right at their offices for the crime that everyone expected six months ago. Infringement. Which just makes sense, doesn't it? I mean say all you will about Palworld and how fundamentally it takes the idea of Pokemon and moves it in many more interesting directions than the franchise itself was ever going to stretch- but from a design standpoint those two were really drinking from the same font. Palworld literally borrowed the exact same design philosophy as Pokemon, with colour combinations and animal switch-ups, emulated the exact same cutesy art style and, allegedly, even scribbled over some of those old Pokemon designs for good measure. The resemblance is uncanny is some examples and others look like actual mash-up 'what if' designs you see uploaded to Reddit ever other day. It makes total sense why Nintendo would go after them for that there copyright infringment.

Hmm? Excuse me, I'm hearing that they weren't aimed at for Copyright Infringement? That doesn't make any sense though- what else would there be to... Patent Infringement? As in, the Patent for Pokemon? The legal filed design documents? They're claiming an infringement over there? That is... I'm not going to lie- a really smart way to blindside everyone. I bet that Pocketpair had loaded up laywers on retainers that were drafting up copyright rebuttal speeches every other week and bouncing them off each other just to stay mean with it. But kick down the front door and slam a 'Patent' suite on the desk and suddenly everyone is given a little pause. Cages are rattled. Oh, and the foundation of art itself creeks against the abyss whilst another careless gust of litigious wind batters it- but who cares about that? Nintendo sure don't!

Nintendo can't be alleging that Pocketpair straight up kidnapped one of their OG technicians and squeezed the secret to a winning Pokemon formula across hours of extreme torture methods, nor do I think they are accusing the Palworld devs of infiltrating the heavily guarded Nintendo vaults- breeching the six-foot steel walls and making off with the original design documents to flog on the Pika-market- so we can only assume this is a pointed finger at the accusation of 'copying'. Nintendo must, by all logical deduction, be looking at Palworld and finding something in it's design and systems so egregiously lifted from the legally unique and distinct Pokemon formula that it constitutes immediate cease and desisting. So let's put on our amateur attorney hats and see if we can't drum up a case for Nintendo- do the exact kind of garbage picking their legal team have been up to over the past half year...  

So lacking the insight into the workings of either Palworld or traditional Pokemon we can only really opine on the visible gameplay mechanics and in that comparison Palworld is actually pretty distinct. The game isn't turn-based, does not set itself in a similar style of explorable world with themed routes and small gym villages- utilises it's mons for a very basic battle system which shudders in the face of Pokemon's half-involved complexity. Palworld's gameplay loop is built around survival systems, crafting and efficiency management- none of which exist in the Pokemon pantheon. All we can really draw in connection to one another would be the very concept of catching monsters and pitting them to battle- which to be fair, does invoke the spirit of Pokemon at a glance- but should it exclusively?

What if these were soldiers on the battlefield being captured and put to work against the enemy? Like for 'Shadows of Mordor'? That's right, Shadows of Mordor borrowed that basic philosophy with a more randomised approach so you were less filling up a Pokedex and more browsing for the coolest looking Orcs to recruit into your vanguard. Maybe the idea of 'filling up a list of specifically designed creatures for a competitive battle system' is important, despite Palworld lacking that competitive battle system. Well then, one might merely invoke the name of Shin Megami Tensei, no? Persona, Soul Hackers, SMT- that's the bread and butter of all of them! And guess what, Nintendo- the first SMT game debuted in 1992... Pokemon Yellow came out in 1996... Maybe those are the kinds of rocks you don't want to turn over, huh.

Of course, we have no idea what the actual pain points are and currently neither do Pocketpair who are apparently having to launch a legal investigation into themselves to figure out what the heck Nintendo is even on about. Although N isn't taking this lightly! Apparently they've identified several patents being infringed upon- which makes this sound like a damn-near copy'n'paste situation if you weren't at all aware of the actual products involved and how materially distinct they actually are. For optics sake I can only assume Nintendo will try their hardest to keep this close to the chest but that cat has long since fled the burlap, friend- we're all fascinated to find out what apparent chink in the armour Palworld didn't notice until now and I pray we get follow-ups from the two journalists who actually still exist in this medium.

In the grand scheme, however, can I just say that this sucks. Patents towards modes of design, concepts of gameplay, are like hot knives stabbed into the back of creativity itself. All art is iterative, most great art is whole-sale Frankenstein-ed together out of lesser works. The greatest games of our age all owe vast pedigrees to gameplay systems, development methods and concept figured out and refined before them- this year's presumptive Game of the Year Black Myth Wukong probably have Hidetaka Miyazaki's every odd mannerism down for how closely they've imitated his work and style. When aspects of design like this enter litigation, or Warner Bros try and lock down the 'Nemesis System' from their games- everyone loses. And I'd think that Nintendo would know that well for how much their own games have proven influential- but I guess desperation makes enemies out of everyone- huh?

Wukong has style

 

Black myth is one of those games with a Legacy behind it, stretching out years to when an unknown developer put out a gameplay video that no-one could believe was real. A game that told us a great-looking Souls-like Sun Wukong video game created by Chinese developers and backed by no big studios could be real- it was enough to set this school boy alight. Because yes, I still attended School when this game was first teasing ankle back in those forlorn yesteryears. From a Chinese game developer it is almost unthinkable that anything resembling a real game could be made- who could possibly trust the kind of developers who wrote the book on crappy F2P microtransaction hellholes for an audience of addicts? Game Kitchen are apparently the name of these brave exceptions.

You see, even though China is one of those countries that restricts access to outside media for 'decency' reasons- very few actual gamers are held up such paltry provisions. Learning to sneak around the firewall is simply part and parcel for that audience and enjoying the high standards of the best of our industry is as much their right as anyone elses. So it doesn't matter if Dark Souls and God of War would have feasibly been sold in that sector of the world, or if misleading official statistics state that only sub-standard ripoffs and mobile trash thrive in the country- Chinese gamers know what's up and their developers, should they be given the greenlight, have so much to offer the rest of this special space of entertainment. And I like to think 'Black Myth' might open up a few of those doors.

Some weeks ago it finally came to us and Black Myth Wukong shot off like wildfire, selling 8 million in the first week and breaking Steam concurrent play numbers for a single player title- neatly stealing that throne from Baldur's Gate 3. A lot of those sales came right in China itself, demonstrating just how powerful a full-blooded video game can be on an audience ostensibly alien to it's kind- whilst also throwing a bit of a mirror at the rest of the world- why didn't more of us rush to buy this game? I had other expenses that month- what's everyone else's excuse? At the very least I have the game know and can say, though I've yet to finish the thing, that everyone should be playing Black Myth WuKong.

Firstly- it is not a Souls-Like despite what we all initially believed. I've heard it described as close to God of War, but I think there's a bit more RPG freedom in the way you build the playstyle as opposed to God of War. What this game is closet to in that regard would be something like Sekiro- although without the precision gameplay mechanics built into it's very structure and with a surprisingly forgiving slide to it's difficulty scales. Wukong is actually one of the easiest games of this style that I've played- but not in a way that's boring- but in a way that gives you the freedom to explore and experiment with your abilities, gear, spells and transformations without fear of screwing yourself over. Backed with a free reskilling option that fits in this style of game.

Speaking of the game's style I have to say wow- those cutscenes! It's not often that a modern Video game cutscene will blow me away through mere spectacle, but those that manage it join a very exclusive list. The modern Final Fantasies (15,16,7R) and Black Myth and... that's all I can think off from the top of my head. And a great cutscene goes a long way to setting mood and excitement levels, it has to be said! Seeing Wukong flying through the air exchanging staff blows with a mortal enemy or just seeing the incredibly intense introduction to a foreboding boss is just the icing on the cake. Stylish doesn't begin to describe these moments!

As for story I am actually quite taken with this Souls-taught kind of narrative exposition based on small anecdotes recovered from the slain that slowly lay out the story of the various forces that control these chapters of the world. All alongside much more straight forward cutscenes that tell an interesting enough tale on it's own to have me paying attention- although I'll have to dive a bit deeper to see if it's actually interesting all on it's own. There are sparks of something though- which is much more than I would have typically expected from a game like this from a first-time studio. Taking things without the easy-out of being 'pure action' is a testament to true ambition.

But what really sung out to me was the sheer pursuit of artistic excellence which forgoes the typically gross trappings of generalised acceptance. When I weigh up every decision with 'is this what general audiences usually respond to?' I'll only ever come up with a game barely able to compare with anything but Ubisoft slop. There was absolutely no reason for every single chapter finale of Wukong to be presented with a simply gorgeous animated music video exploring the stories of figures of importance throughout that chapter. But it sings of a spirit of artistry implicit with this game.

 

I'm happy that Yakuza wars in the next RGG game.

 

Ryu Ga Gotoku, better known as 'Yakuza', is one of my favourite video game franchises ever created- it's one of the most consistently quality processions of video games ever devised- and as a lover of consistency and greatness- yeah, Imma gravitate towards that. The drama, the humour, the characters, the set pieces, the worlds and the combat- everything has been refined to such an impeccable pinnacle that every new entry staggers the mind to think where they could improve their craft next. Their craft as system crafters, world designers, story tellers- there isn't a facet of RGG that fails to grow game after game and I just can't wait for the best of the best to show their face once again. But let me clue you in on a little something- I'm also so very tired.

Now I'll admit this is something of a me problem by definition- but I have spent the past few years playing and completing every single game in this franchise to such a degree that I can experience everything they have to offer and asses they against one another. With the exception of 'Three', for which I only endured the main story because that game controls like a drunk pensioner with two broken hips. That ain't no mean feat either- as opposed to some other franchise retrospectives I've done over the years, wherein the rule is typically 'small numbers of long games' or 'large number of small games'- pretty every single adventure in the RGG franchise of games is a 70+ hour adventure with the exception of the original 'Kawami' (A mere 50 hour) and 'Like a Dragon: Gaiden'. (A comparatively lean 40 hour) Their recent RPG games? 100+ hours both. 'Lost Judgement' and 'Ishin' scrap the 90 hour limit. That's a lot of game.

And I love these games, I absolute do. But sometimes you have to ween yourself away from the thing you love before it becomes something that you hate. Something you feel so often that it's ever familiar beat resonates a deep hatred instead of a familiar 'aww'. And to be honest- I was scratching that way with Infinite Wealth. I didn't like it as much as some of the other recent RGG games and I think the only reason why might be that bias- because everything substantive about the game was so admittedly steller. I still loved my time with it and consider the money well spent. (Except for the extra dungeon which should have just been rolled into the game.)  And if through shear overload I hated up despising the thing I love, I couldn't think of a more sad state to wallow in.

Which is why I got so very scared when rumours began to abound about a brand new Yakuza game being unveiled this very year- just a few months after the humongous 'Infinite Wealth' dropped. (The RGG output machines is friggin' insane!) To be fair there were rumblings about how this was going to be 'surprising' and 'unlike anything you expected', which might have meant a refreshing entry that didn't strike at my 'too much' nerve- but in my heart I knew it wasn't going to quite enough to free me of my discontent. And so I sat there terrified of what might occur- at which point another leak deflated all the air from the room. Worry not guys, it seems that the next title for the RGG franchise is 'Yakuza Wars'.

Now, ignoring the fact that this game's name blatantly disregards the unified naming convention that the games just started abiding to, a title like 'Yakuza Wars' really does strike up some interesting imagery- doesn't it? Maybe you'll think of sweeping strategy titles like 'Total War' which evoke control over massive heaps of units as that tactically traverse wide open battles that challenge composition, planning and reactionary decision making. But then you might think- hang on, isn't that just the Majima Construction minigame from Kiwami 2? Nah, I guess that was more 'base defence'... wait, no there was a 'Kiryu Clan' minigame in Yakuza 6 that was actually just a tactics game... so which direction does this one go? Neither, it's a mobile game.

Such words run the blood cold, don't they?  A 'mobile game'- is there anything more base, more beggarly, more disconsonant with the very soul of art and creation? Oh and you bet this title just stinks of Gatcha crap! Low quality Jpeg renders of popular characters mixed with absolute nobodies that have never been heard of in this franchise- you don't even need to see the thing in action because if you've played one of these 'collect a crew' style mobile games you've played them all. They a dime a dozen, carry no creativity and exist only to siphon funds out the pockets of the bevies of pocket gamers who don't invest in consoles, don't appreciate going on experiences and just want to waste a couple of minutes. It is a beautiful example of the "Sorry but we're closing our service" a year down the line, meta. And I have happy this is the next game.

I am happy because I feared whatever the next RGG game would be- I would lose my next month engrossed in it. I was afraid I would be hopelessly sucked into another all-consuming adventure whilst everything else I needed to do slipped helplessly into the wayside. I no longer need to fear because I won't be buying this game. Or downloading it for free, as the case may usually be. I don't want to play it, because it looks utterly unrecognisable as a Yakuza game. This is the equivalent of just releasing no Yakuza game, because everyone knows this isn't aimed at the cultivated audience. I fear this also won't earn a billion bucks like they're hoping for because the mobile market is saturated with identical trash- but I bet the company don't care either. This is lip service for investors, nothing more.

As for the real Like a Dragon that I care about? Well, I've still got the Amazon show coming very soon. That'll be worth a watch I'll bet. And beyond that? I really appreciate the space for the franchise to breath and I'll bet the developers do too. Todd Howard has himself a bit of a skewered reputation these days, with his words often used as a group spittoon for his many detractors but I think recently he poised a very solid bit of marketing wisdom. He said that he doesn't think it's bad for people to miss things, and I would agree having felt that very way when Mass Effect Andromeda dropped so soon after the franchise had laid itself to rest. Let me miss Like a Dragon for a little bit- and a couple years off could really do that. (I'm begging you, RGG!)

Without Itsuno

 

When legendary developers fade from our studios it is often usually the end of a run we're not going to see again for quite a while. When Hideo Kojima left Konami that was pretty much the end of thier relevancy as a game developer- they've not even managed to scratch the AAA world since despite recent attempts- but hey, I guess they're happy serving slop up to their audience of awaiting guppy fish. When Shinji Makami left Tangoworks, he did so under the force belief that if they just kept making award winning games then someone would want to keep them around- obviously they ended up being shut down in the next year and had to be bailed out in a temporary resurrection we can only hope sticks. (Bailed out of a shutdown? Huh, I guess that means someone found the award winning studio worthwhile. How bizarre.) And now that Hideaki Itsuno has left Capcom- what does that mean for the franchises he left behind?

Itsuno's legend began a little bit into his career when the man was brought on as a 'reorganiser' to a failing project that was spiralling down a pit. The horrifically disastrous Devil May Cry 2 was being helmed by a figure purposefully hidden to history because the mess they were making of the project was that bad all have stricken their name from the books. Devil May Cry 2 was apparently on a nose dive and with the hard work of Itsuno in refocusing the project the team managed to squeeze out something that could actually be released in the public- but if you've ever actually sat down and played the thing you'll know that's small praise. A largely gutted charm and wit, distinctly missing stylistic flair of the original, thoughtless level design, unambitious combat improvement, (or, more appropriately, regressions) laughably ill-conceived bosses- yet also the only actually worthwhile secondary campaign in the franchise. It wasn't something worth resting your cap on. And Itsuno agreed.

What happened next could only have been the result of someone with a fire lit under them, because the absolute heel turn from Devil May Cry 2 to 3 is a mind-blowing achievement. When I did my playthrough of the franchise recently, even all this years removed from the original environment and release dates, I could feel that Devil May Cry 3 was something special without any context. Combat wasn't just revived, it was rewritten- they created the style-based combat the franchise has been known for ever since. Dante and his brother Neo-Angelo/Vergil got their souls this game. The supporting cast stood out proud with great moments and designs so good we're still comparing modern Lady redesigns to her original. The game was challenging, the bosses were impressive and memorable, the title was a powerhouse- plain and simple. And Itsuno established himself as a director with a mark to leave.

He may not have birthed the series himself but Itsuno would go on to help define Devil May Cry over the years with the honestly under-appreciated Devil May Cry 4- which refined a lot of what 3 was doing into an actual half-decent evolving narrative, the heavily critiqued DMC, which is the only game I haven't had the pleasure of in the franchise so far, and my favourite of the franchise- Devil May Cry 5- the absolute pinnacle of this genre of games, a master in every facet. All with Itsuno either in the director's chair or on as a supervisor. If the man was so eager to rewrite history so he wouldn't go down as the cause of Devil May Cry 2- he ended up going above and beyond in his role. But what if I told you the reason I lauded the man's work had nothing to do with any of that?

You see, a while ago there a little Fantasy title that dropped off the face of the earth for being released at the same time as Skyrim- the single biggest fantasy game of that console generation. This title was not as big as Skyrim, nor as immersive, nor as pretty. But do you know what Dragon's Dogma of that age did well? God it was charming. And unique. Dragon's Dogma was an action adventure hack-n-slash brimming with identity and purpose in the robust grapple and climb mechanic to the cleverly designed and dynamic boss enemies- I could go on about my love for Dragon's Dogma until the cows come how- and how severely underappreciated it was by the public! 

Itsuno similarly agreed that the game never got it's flowers from the public and spent a decade trying to give it another go around. In that time we'd forever hear allusions to a potential sequel, got a middling Anime to tide us over and had to endure China bragging about their country only MMO version of the game. Only now, in the year of our lord 2024, was Dragon's Dogma 2 finally given the greenlight to release and it finally introduced the world to a game unlike what they expected. A creativity machines begging it's audience to play around, just like the modern combat for the Devil May Cry franchise. And whilst I have my issues with it, I would love to see more content come to DD2 to push it ever further beyond! But now, I'm not sure that's ever going to happen.

Like a spirit hanging around past it's due it would seem that Itsuno was just hanging around Capcom in the hopes of getting Dragon's Dogma out the door and now that's done- so is he. Itsuno has left the company behind and in doing so robbed Capcom of their strongest talent- in the shaky hope that those left behind will be capable in his absence. But so far? All I know of non-Itusno products is the absolute mess that was made out of the non-chinese release of the Devil May Cry Mobile game- a once exciting little product in it's own right. And Dragon's Dogma? I'm afraid to see that delicately balanced little swansong dragged off a cliff by weak directors manhandled under dumb executives.

Capcom aren't going to drown, they'll always have Sonic. But my reasons for still keeping up what the blue studio was up to? Yeah that was pretty much exclusively caught up in the many machinations of this one creative powerhouse. Truly the company isn't going to be the same and the legacy he leaves could be in shaky hands. Dragon's Dogma 2 pleads for more content but do I really want a DLC that Itsuno didn't work on? Do I want more Devil May Cry games that he didn't work on? We kind of starting from scratch in the trust department and that's always the sad part of departures like this. I just hope the man is proud of himself.