The Game Awards were wild

 Wild times

So the Game Awards just passed us by about a day back, and if you're looking for where my predictions stack up to the actual winners; just know that the entire event was rigged by bad actors who wanted me, specifically, to look stupid. That is my story and I'm riding it off a mountain for all I care. But apart from the actual awards I came away from the screen several times fanning myself down and asking; Is this the single best line-up of game announcements we've had at a Game Awards show? And you know what, I actually think it might be. Geoff teased how there were no leaks before the show and he wasn't kidding; the amount of serious material that got dropped out the blue for this show spun my head around like a spinning top and just about had me wolf calling in the middle of the night. Oh yeah, the show ran from 0:30 to 4:00 over here, thanks so much for your very full speech, Christopher Judge.

But even if we actually account for the enduring awards themselves as well, I have to say that the organisers really pulled all the stops out to make this show the true 'Oscars of Gaming'. We had Al Pacino rock up in order to tell us all about how much he watches his kids play games, (at least the man didn't lie to us, I can respect that) Michael Madsen was there promoting a game he's in (With a just terrible title) Keegan-Micheal Key performed some eye-watering comedy. (in that; I wanted to cry and run away) Pedro Pascal turned up and Léa Seydoux was in the crowd, there were more movie stars than voice actors in the crowd. It was a veritable 'who's who' of famous faces, and the kicker is, they were all actually present for the night. Except for Idris Elba; but we'll get to him later. For those that seek validation in the amount of recognisable people who give your show events the time of day, the Game Awards gave you exactly what you wanted. For the rest of us... well, we were eating good too!

The amount of incredible high quality game announcements threatened to put the E3 game shows out of business for sheer lack of filler fluff inbetween the absolute juggernauts. The E3 organisers are desperate to put on a show next year, but I don't why they would even bother with what Geoff manages to line up nowadays. We kicked off the showcase with a freakin' Ken Levine game reveal! 'Judas' looks exactly like a direct follow-up to Bioshock in all the best ways, I love it already. And there's still the interesting conversations about narrative that the game apparently wants to have with us all, whenever it releases- or if it ever does. And we finally got a look-in to what Jedi Survivor is up to, after Disney couldn't manage to secure any footage for their showcase. And it looks like Cal has a lot more movement options, and ridable mounts, in more open looking environments and his very own new Lightsaber broadsword with hand-guard, function. They're still not showing us what the equivalent of the Inquisitor fights are even going to resemble yet, which makes me deeply curious for something very special; and I still have no clue who Bacta-tank man is. Sure, doesn't look like Galen Marek to me, though! (15 points from all the bad lore-guessing channels.) 

What really shocked me were the surprise sequel announcements. I mean sure, we knew Armoured Core was getting a resurgence. (I assumed that after all the Soulsbourne stuff that FromSoftware would go for a soft reboot, but no it's just: AC6) I had to actually deconvince myself midway through the trailer to Remnant 2 that it was actually Remnant 2. "No way" I said. "This game looks way more visually compelling then that original game ever was. The gameplay does seem familiar though. And that hat... wait a minute!" And then there was the real sequel shocker- from a supremely talented indie studio who have never made a sequel ever before in their entire lives; get ready for Hades 2! I guess all it took was for their game to win a Game Award for the team to go "Yeah, we can probably stick around with this property for another outing." (I'm beyond hyped.)

Other huge announcements from the night come from the fact that, against all odds, Death Stranding 2 was revealed right the heck out of nowhere! Hideo Kojima is very much working on a totally different title at the same time, but DS2 was just bubbling back there waiting for a reveal through which I, lover and obsessive regrading the first masterpiece, can ascertain literally nothing. We see Fragile get attacked whilst presumably trying to project Louise, and it seems like she dies; but then she appears very much not dead later on in the trailer wearing her signature gear. There wasn't a single BT, or mention of a BT, in the trailer; and in fact no one appears to be wearing Timefall resistant gear. Sam appears to be much older and Fragile appears to be... well... alive; which is also confusing given her apparently reduced life-span in the first game and- wait, come to think of it... the Fragile who was being attacked is wearing a tank-top; and she has absolutely no Timefall scars on her body whatsoever. So is that a- what? Flashback from before Death Stranding 1? So many delicious and curious questions!

And Baldur's Gate 3 got itself a release date for it's full release and it's... phew, it is a way's away. August 2023 ain't exactly around the corner, not in the slightest. At least we got ourselves a reveal trailer that did away with the pomp and deception and just showed us pretty much everything the early access has in store for us over the next half year. Half Orcs and Paladins- and Aasimar! Who could ask for more? Well we're getting it anyway. Minsc is coming to the full release, as well as Jaheira for people who still remember who she is. (I remember; I'm just being facetious) I can't pretend I enjoy being led along for another bunch of months when it seems like we're only due maybe a couple of updates to tide us over, but I guess the longer this game spends in the oven the better the final release will be. The game is on the right track so far, Larian know what they're doing. Even if they didn't announce a specific day, which is kind of like saying "Prepare for a delay."

But the big moment at the end was perhaps the most surprising. I think we all knew that Elden Ring wasn't exactly going to sweep for merit of it being a less-than-standard game when God of War: Ragnarok was right there. 'New Thing' bias felt like it had a part to play in the amount of awards that Ragnarok won, including best soundtrack- which even the composer who collected the award seemed rightfully confused by. I think we all expected Ragnarok to sweep the show by the ending credits, go home with a big fat 'Ultimate Game' crown and start working on this year's only legit 'Game of the Year' Edition. But upset of upsets! Elden Ring squeaked itself in the big award out of the top turnbuckle- and in an instant all those normies that turned to the latest FromSoftware as the new 'popular' game only to be burnt by it's creative narrative and unrelenting difficulty; dissolved in a single frustrated puff!

The real winner at the end of the night, however, was Bill Clinton; after a 15 year old boy managed to sneak his ass onto the stage at the end of the night and leapfrog Miyazaki's moment with a random hasty joke about dedicating this award to his 'reformed dogs-body Rabi: Bill Clinton'. A stunt which got the boy arrested and quickly released, but which made Geoff Keighley's most ambitious event yet feel like a joke in security. I can imagine Keighley is probably a little devastated right now; but he shouldn't be after giving us the single most packed Game Awards ever with the most high quality announcements from start to end. I know there are some being coy, calling it a positive to middling showing, but I think those people aren't quite remembering how dire some previous shows got; this was the most consistently entertaining night since the show's conception; and I know Geoff is going to spend the rest of his career chasing this high again. Well done, man; you've peaked.