STADIAAAAAA!

It's not over yet!

Imagine my shock. I wake up some two days back and drag myself through my morning routine, forcing this empty husk of a person through the motions. I wash my hair, pour some cereal, take a seat and spot something odd with the news cycle. For some strange reason everybody appears to be reporting on the same months old story. What are you all talking about "Cyberpunk 2077 is delayed" I already know about that, it happened a lifetime ago. Don't you remember? CDPR came out with their apologies and promises about how they would avoid crunching their employees with such a decision? And then one of their top brass told everyone how confidant they were that the game would hit the new release date? So there's no way the game has been delayed a second time, guys, I mean come on it's not like- But... but that's impossible. That can't be. Another one? But... what's changed? They said they were confidant, I believed them. The circumstances shouldn't be too shifted unless... oh. I was expecting the buck to end with CDPR, for the largest factor that needed to be accountant for being if they were ready. But that's not the case is it. It was never them. Kono Stadia da.

I know you did this. There could never be any other, it had to be you. I know, because it's heart's in my heart. Right in the centre of all the primordial darkness of this accursed year, locked behind Kingdom Hearts there was you, Stadia, waiting, preying on us all at our most desperate. (Yes, I know I'm rambling!) But let's think about this logically, shall we, no need to jump to conclusions... So Cyberpunk 2077 was originally slated for an April release (About a week before my Birthday, but that's neither here nor there) before a glass of cold water was thrown in literally everyone's face as the decision was made that the game would be better with another half year in the oven. (At the time I argued that the announcement was a smokescreen and the later date was always the intended release window. I still think that's a possibility.) So that was the end of this little saga until, that is, just a week or so back where Stadia entered the story.

You may remember that everyone began laughing and pointing fingers when the walking joke that is Google's Stadia came out with their tails between their legs to announce that there was an issue with their port of Cyberpunk. An issue that would cost Google a concurrent release window with literally every other platform know to man. (At the time is was looking like an impossible Switch port would be out before Stadia.) CDPR, for their part, seemed predictably apologetic and made promises about how they wanted to ensure Stadia's port was out before the end of the year. But even with their word to hand onto, most saw this as CDPR unconsciously letting everyone know exactly where their priorities lie; with the platforms that people actually play on, for instance. The toothless golems over on the Stadia subbreddit may have been tripping over themselves to justify google's shortcomings (Thus is the way of the sycophant) but no one with intellectual freewill was buying it. Google dropped the ball, end of story.

And yet, now we're looking at another delay hitting the beleaguered Cyberpunk fans. Nothing major, thank the Nine, just a little job of little more than two months from September to November. So just before the end of the year... Now I'm not regularly considered a superstitious man, but even a customary glance at that date can see that it just so happens to line up with the prospective delay that hit Stadia, almost as though somehow every version of the game had been pushed up in order to lineup with Google's launch, as if we're all forced to suffer for their crappy platform. So riddle me this; am I seeing imaginary connections here? Am I being the crazy one on this here equation? I think not, in fact, I think I've sniffed out the most clear culprits imaginable. I don't know if Google had to throw their weight around, get on their knees and beg or conduct some profane pagan ritual in order to get this game delayed but they did it. I'll wager my happiness on it.

And yet despite how cut and dry this obviously is you get self-proclaimed 'experts' from the industry come out to say things like "This could be the clearest indicator of the Series X release date yet." Wait what? Sure, Cyberpunk 2077 has enjoyed publicity from Microsoft events in the past, but it is in no way an exclusive. (And I'll bet that's not for want of trying. There's not a doubt in my mind that Phil Spencer is willing to sell off his firstborn for a Cyberpunk exclusive.) Some people seem to think that with enough arm twisting the folks at Microsoft and Sony can twist Cyberpunk into some sort of console-launch title, and whilst that might spell one of the historically greatest launch titles of all time (literally one for the accolade books) CDPR have shown no interest in treating their title that way. They've been very open about their willingness to cater to as many folk as possible to the point where they're offering a free upgrade between generations for folk on either platform. They want it to be known that people have absolutely no pressure to spend an extra £500 just to play their game, so a willing delay to meet the new console's release window makes absolutely no sense. In fact, there's no impetus for this shift to happen beyond the Stadia debacle, so that makes the culprit pretty darn clear, wouldn't you say?

But I'm not the only one who seems to have been blindsided by this. Countless actual insiders have told their various contacts about how there were no more delays coming to the project. No ifs ands or buts, Cyberpunk would be done by September, and you know what? I believe them. More than I trust some rando 'source' off of Reddit, I believe that this is a product that will be largely done by the date that they've picked. I believe that CDPR were more than willing to go up against, and completely disrupt, the September AAA release window with their blockbuster; In fact, I was looking forward to it. But now they've moved to a Christmas release window for a distinctly non-festive title and I'm just feeling more than a little jipped. It was supposed to be a really cool fact that Cyperpunk 2020's videogame adaption would be out in the year 2020, but now it feels like a desperate afterthought tacked on at the last possible moment. (Which just gave me a thought; is Cyperpunk 2077 even going to eligible for the 2020 VGA's now? Urg, this delay was a total crap storm.)

So let me be clear; operating under my assumption that Google Stadia's machinations are responsible for the delay, it stands as a disservice to everyone for CDPR, or anyone, to kowtow to a service as unwavering shoddy as Stadia. Let us ignore the raw-deal of the very promise (Paying for a subscription ontop of buying games), the consistent broken promises of 60 FPS (they couldn't even get ESO higher than 30. Seriously!) and the lack of the majority of social features that most other launchers take for granted. (They're getting there, but not quickly enough.) Let's instead look at their frank incompetence, which was on full display last week when the team managed to leak a year-old playable demo of Ubisoft's 'Gods and Monsters' for a full 30 minutes. (Which, due to the 'no download time' feature was more than enough time for people to play and capture footage.) This blunder cost the game's mystique, as now everyone knows it's just another formulaic Ubisoft game (to the point where the demo even used 'Assassin's Creed Odyssey' assets as placeholders) and the team's reputation for not being blundering idiots as they couldn't even manage to keep a 'never show to the public' demo behind closed doors. (No other major console developer has pulled off such a blunder quite yet.)

But in the end what does it matter? Stadia have floundered about in the mud and we're all along for the ride whether or not we bought into their moronic business model or not. What's next? Are major shows going to start getting delayed in order to meet some sort of simultaneous launch window with, streaming services' other punching bag: Quibi? Or maybe we'll all just start twisting and changing the types of movies that are made and their content in order to better fit the image which the Chinese government like to present it's citizens. (Oh wait that last one is actually real, isn't it?) I'm livid and disappointed, both with Stadia and CDPR for dragging us down to their level. Maybe in a year from now when Stadia's dead and buried where it belongs this is something we can all look back on and laugh, but right now I just feel like this crappy year has dealt me another blow and I'm just tired off it all. That's about it, I'm out.