Beep Boop- =Connection to Nonsense blog- =ESTABLISHED=
I'm late, but I don't care. Do you care? Didn't think so. So 900, we're hitting the endgame, ladies and gentlemen, the final stretch. From here on out it's nothing but half-assed bad faith blogs until I hit four digits and I'm gone in a flash. Only joking, maybe. But this has been a year of significant 'catching up' on my part, and of teeing myself up for a whole lot more games on the horizon. I have two huge RPG franchises that I've got lined up for after I've beaten the CRPGs on my plate, I've got a bunch of shows that I haven't finished on this blog, I've got Jojo's Bizzare Adventure Stone Ocean coming up which is in two days from the writing of this blog, and I've really started to hit a momentum of just too much going on. Which, to be clear, when all that stuff is deposited upon someone with major depressive tendencies, 'too Much' is the ideal.
I do feel like I need to throw a bit of apology down for several series' that I've let completely drop off, but I don't forget a single one and they will all be completed one day. The first of which is the amazing series of Resident Evil 1 blogs that took so much to go through because I analysed literally every square inch of the game. I was just about to leave the mansion and start the second half of the game before my TV broke and it became untenable for me to really continue that series, but I really should find a way to get back around to it one day. Heck, I had the intention of going through every single Resident Evil game in preparation of the 4 remake, but at this rate it looks like the 4 remake is going to come out a long time in advance. I don't mean to abandon it, at all, but I can't really land an ETA I'm afraid. (4k TVs don't come cheap)
There were two TV series' I was covering that I've given up on. But again, it's only temporary. The Dragon's Dogma series fell off because of my dread for the next episode, knowing what Lust was about from a long time coming. And then there's the Resident Evil CGI series, but that second one I actually have an excuse for. Pretty much the second after I started covering it, talk went out for a Netflix movie, two in fact, and I felt more attracted to those then I did this series. Now the first has come out and the only thing stopping me from watching it is this lingering series, so I am going to finish watching them. However, both take second fiddle for Stone Ocean, because if these Netflix Originals are as spotty as people say, then I'm going to want something objectively good to wash out my eyes afterwards. I'll get around to DD at some point, I dunno.
The other one- the big one- listen, the XCOM series is going to take some time. I recently put out a blog about 'getting back into the swing of things' and I kid you not, that very night I intended to dive into it. Guess what happened. Why even bother, you know. Day freakin' 1 I was lead right into an ambush on my first turn and someone died from a single damned Sectoid shot. I couldn't take it, I just killed the run right there. Remember, please do, that I prepared for this run of XCOM by playing through Casual and Normal difficulty, to their completion, on Ironman! The jump should not have been this jarring, but somehow it is and I'm stuck in a proverbial battle against my own crappy demons. I have to struggle with my pathetic inadequacies in order to stomach that Classic Ironman, and most days I don't know if I can. And with so many other games on my plate, more arriving everyday, I have reasons. Except they're not reasons, they're excuses, and the more of them I hide behind the more my shame grows and the more insurmountable the mountain grows between me and my next attempt.
Why start down a road that's destined for failure? Why start down any road when they all lead to the same place? It's like being trapped in a hall of mirrors, each reflecting a disappointment in yourself, and having to choose which way you'll sicken yourself this time. But if I can delay the journey, forget about the road, project myself elsewhere, then I can frolic in the fantasy just that bit longer and be happy. Happy. But it's not happiness is it? It's bondage, frocked in wreathes of flowers and sunny smiles, but chains around my wrists all the same. There's no way around it, no way without it, the only way is through. Damn it, I went through so many CRPGs this year, hell I beat Amelyssan! (Mostly fairly too) And I've beaten Classic XCom before, at least twice! All I need to do is channel that again. Only without making mistakes. And with no one dying... I need to work up my strength, guys. But I will face it again, and again, and once more still, until I stand with broken bones and ground teeth at the otherend of this pox ridden campaign. And then I can start the next stupid challenge blog. (I have a feeling I know what it'll be, but I just don't know if I have the strength to pursue it.)
Ahem. But aside from those outstanding blogs, I've been fairly happy with how these past few months have panned out for me. I've really enriched my gaming culture by discovering all those '*true* RPGs' that the insufferable gatekeeping asshats on every forum always natters on and on about in their many endless diatribes. And they're pretty fun, I have to admit. Although I wonder if enduring video games that have more mandatory reading in them than your average RPG qualifies those people to become a new superior race of human above the rest of us like they seem to believe it does. Well, I'm no philosopher, so I can't really say, you'd have to invoke the spirit of Carl Jung and wring out some of that Persona talk he seems to love so very much. (I wonder if he's ever studied Hinduism, I see similarities between his work and some Hindu beliefs about the connected soul.)
But you know who does fancy himself a philosopher of some sort? Hideo Kojima, or at least that's the impression I get after playing, first enduring and then quite liking, Death Stranding. How generous it has been of Sony to spit out their old classics for us PC players to finally pounce on, although I did still linger until a heavy sale because I am a career leach. (Bite me, former 'Days Gone' Director) I can see that this review is going to be very interesting, and although I find a lot of the ideas espoused to be very un-unique, I will admit that the presentation has left enough room for introspection to squirrel her wirery little digits into my subconscious. I spent six hours knees-down in the dirt working today, and a good amount of that time was spent pondering the meaning of connection and my relation to it, all because of this poxxy game about touchy-feely hand monster ghost things. Dammit Kojima, you've won again this time...
So there's me right now, pretty much summed up in eight paragraphs, which has been by standard for a good while now. (Just long enough to have detail, just short enough to not make someone groan at the prospect of having to read it) I haven't done a study blog in a while, but I'm rather busy in my free time with creative writing, so I'm not beating myself up about it. I'm feeling decently better about myself, although historically that is the moment before some other unseen shoe drops out of the sky to knock me for six, so I'm looking out for that. I'm okay. I think that's a fair middle ground for everything. Oh- except for the fact I still can't find a bloody next gen console! You listen here, Sony/Microsoft, how about you get off your- distribution problems- rookie mistake- scalpers- rarer than antimatter- can't find- whe- ho- pr- =CONNECTION LOST=
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