Why video games?

This is going to be a boring one, team, be warned.

The other day I was watching the very special Russian edition of Cyberpunk 2077's Nightcity Wire, it didn't hold any new gameplay details but was focused on the Russian localisation of the game. Yes, this does make the second internationally published video they've created which has catered directly to their Russian audience; and no, I have no idea why CDPR seem to lean specifically to that demographic of their audience. In the video we got somr interesting views on the people they hired to play the denizens of Nightcity and what their view on the game they were working on is. I saw how the Russian female V said she was nothing like her character, and how the Russian Male V said he was too much like his character, so it's safe to say that there was all types of folk involved in making this game. But there was one moment of the video that got me thinking, and it was when they were talking about Nightcity herself. One person described the city as 'the villain' of the game, talking about the way in which the hedonistic decadence and perfunctory lives of it's citizens created a nightmarish, if convincing, view of our future. In fact, they specifically said that would never want to live in Nightcity, an opinion with which I didn't even remotely share.

I would love to live in Nightcity, even knowing all that it represents and the lost souls who seem to wander her, and though it may sound a little contrived; that very opinion got me really thinking hard about why I disagreed so strongly. Eventually this question evolved into what it was that I actually sought out from video games and entertainment in general, and I know this isn't exactly the right time for my pre-scheduled blog of existentialism but I hope you'll permit me this hint of selfishness. For you see, I think the question of how it is that we form are favourite hobbies is right along the path to figuring ourselves out. Of course, this means that for the majority of the blog I'm going to talk about myself and the things that I like, so as such this is going to be a really stupid blog that you probably should skip. I'm only writing this to have an outlet, don't feel the need then to actually read it.

When I think of Nightcity I think of a city of lost souls. A place where the people of the area find themselves gravitating towards, perhaps even in spite of themselves, only to be drowned by the place. And though I've yet to play the game myself, I've spent long enough reading the material about this fictional city to pick up the sort of vibe it's going for. It's a city in which everybody wants more and nobody is ever happy with their place in life; from the folk who struggle everyday to make ends meet in the projects to those at the top of the corporate ladder with everything at their beck and call, except for their freedom. In many ways I suppose you could then say that it's an accurate representation of real life and the roles that real society finds itself in, so then why would I prefer living in such a place when in a way I already do?

I think one of the reasons comes in the very nature of entertainment, and specifically videogames, in the way that they tend to present the audience with a puzzle. Whether that puzzle be the plot, a challenge or an actual riddle; there is always a puzzle to be worked through either through personal effort or through the length of the story. By design, puzzles are designed to be solved, or at least worked on, so that places a level of control and relevance in the hands of the viewer/player, even in a situation where nothing may be completely solved at end of the day. I very much doubt that by the end of Cyberpunk we'll have fundamentally changed the city and rewritten what it is to seek oneself in such an environment, that just simply isn't the way that the Cyberpunk genre works, but we'll have made our mark, whether to improve things/ make them worse/ or keep everything the same; that'll be our little hint of legacy. And that seems preferable to absolutely nothing at all.

In the real world there is no doubt that the vast majority of folk will never find themselves in the position to have any baring on our world or the situations that we find ourselves in. That's just the way of the world and there's little point in bemoaning or being hung up on it. Even though I understand that fact, it doesn't help me accept it anymore. And of course, this is a personal flaw of mine, in the words of Persona I guess you could call it part of my Shadow-self, a part of myself that I don't acknowledge but is real all the same. I mean, conceptually I hate the idea of 'legacy' and 'proving to the world that I existed'; it plays into this 'trap of immortality' that so many people fall for. This wish to live forever when the very concept itself is fallacy, there is no 'forever' and yet it feels human to believe in it nonetheless. (Am I making any sense? Probably not.)

Another reason a flawed world like that of Nightcity turns out to be so alluring to me is actually quite simple; it's the idea of agency. In the world of video games there is an idea that is intrinsic, one that the best of the industry try to disguise as much as they can, an idea in which the player is the only person who can beat the badguy, solve the mystery or, just generally, complete the task. In this vein, the more messed up and twisted the world is the more I am drawn in to have my effect on this world, thus a dystopian world space like Nightcity appeals so much to me. Just to be required in any way, shape or form; even in the digital space, by digital people, helps play into the lie that I am special. So maybe that idea of being 'special' and 'needed' is something that I seek out of the games that I play; which would explain why singleplayer RPGs are so much more interesting to me than multiplayer affairs.

I suppose this particular point could be more of an individual one, because there are probably a lot of people out there who feel some sense of agency in their lives. But as this is a blog about me, that's the angle that I'm taking right now. Rather than wanting to change the world on any grand scale, this more relates to being part of it, and sometimes people can find themselves lacking that sense of belonging, but never in the world of videogames. There is a lot one could say about such a person who feels that way, that they live in an unhealthy mindspace or that they are too lazy to carve their own place in life, and that's all probably right; but having that juxtaposition of a world which, sometimes, literally revolves around them is what makes videogames worlds so infectious to me, if not for some others as well.

So with all that in mind, perhaps I wouldn't want to live in Nightcity if it were a real place, given all that it represents, or maybe I would, given the ways I could be a part of it. I understand this blog has likely come across as a back and forth rant that went literally nowhere, but such are the internal dialogues I find myself having every now and then. Gaming and the role it plays in my life is always something I end up questioning, and whether those questions end up coherent isn't always a factor of the conversation. And this right here might not seem all that much like a well-rounded conclusion (although if you've read my blog up until now and am still expecting that; I don't know what to tell ya) but I've never been the one to get to satisfying answers to my own questions. So now you know what that feels like, if you didn't already. Oh, and Cyberpunk 2077 went gold last week, good for CDPR.