Monster Hunter The Movie

 If in doubt, stop making the movie!

Have I mentioned that I'm a Monster Hunter fan? Probably, but I can't claim that I'm a 'fan' in the same vein as I could for other series'. Usually when I use that word it is to imply that I am something of a series veteran with enough ancillary knowledge to at least answer a basic questionnaire if pressed, whereas for Monster Hunter I more mean it as, I've played one game in the franchise to death and am in extreme reverence to the care and dedication that went into crafting this franchise. The amount of detail and love that is clearly displayed in Monster Hunter World through the meticulous crafting of the natural ecosystem is truly unparalleled, and I'd be amazed if the creative minds behind these games weren't some sort of palaeontologists with the detail on these monsters. And that speaks nothing of the addictive gameplay loop and the mastery of 'David v Goliath'-style showdown moments. Quite simply, MHW is a gem that everyone should get to play at least once. But why make a movie out of it?

I get that when it comes to gaming there's a huge potential market to capitalize through exploitative ancillary content, trust me I know; but what in the world possessed anyone to think a Monster Hunter movie would even hold water? The games themselves are essentially built around the idea of grinding away at progressively stronger monsters in order to get crafting material to make better pieces of equipment, the story is vaguely strung along that premise and I'm left wondering why it is that this screamed 'narrative potential' to anyone. I understand that Capcom are rather lax when it comes to granting licenses for movie adaptations (They let that Yakuza movie happen afterall, and in that the creators somehow managed to put Majima's eyepatch on the wrong eye) but surely there were better Capcom properties to adapt. I mean you have the Reside- oh wait, he already did those. Ace Attor- wait, someone did that as well. Dead Rising? (Okay, maybe just don't make a movie at all then.)

Nevertheless, Paul W.S. Anderson decided he needed another vehicle for his wife, Milla Jokovich, so after stepping away from an entire Resident Evil franchise wherein he rewrote the stories so that an original character played by Milla could be the protagonist, he's taken aim at Monster Hunter. In which he appears to have reworked so that his wife Milla could be the protagonist. (Diabolical) I'm not saying that there should never be another movie adaptation of video games in the world, though I fundamentally do not understand why there are, I'm just saying that it really doesn't help for the film to strive so far from the source material. Practically universally the films turn out better and are more positively received when things try their darndest to stay faithful, but I guess every director out there thinks they know better than the Developers who made the game's popular to begin with. (Just see how that mentality has worked out for them so far)

So a good many moons back a screenshot and premise for this movie leaked and I know I wasn't the only person left their scratching their head. On one hand the person who wasn't Milla seemed to be wearing game-accurate armour, even if it did look a little better than cosplay, but on the otherhand the premise we were reading seemed almost lazily generic. I mean they could have done anything, but this seemed to rely on some of the weakest Hollywood tropes of all time there was no way that this would ever make it to the final dra- then we got a trailer last week. I'm not sure if it's that Hollywood holds a disdain for gamers or just the general movie going audience altogether, but they decided to roll with it and make it happen. So just in case you were lucky enough not to have seen the trailer, allow me to summarise: Milla Jokovich is a US military officer who's squad gets swept up in a mystical storm and they get Isekaied to the Monster Hunter world. Yes, this is the exact premise of 'G.I. Samurai' and a million other low-effort B-movies! 

Why, why, why can't Hollywood make a movie of characters who operate within their own damn worlds? Can't they see how much more interesting that makes the story and environment to the viewer? I mean for one it means that the entire plot can be literally anything other then "ooh wee, I've got to find a way back home!" How much more engaging was it to be introduced to 'Detective Pikachu's' Ryme City than to 'Sonic: The Hedgehogs' middle of nowhere America? And yes, at least they didn't go the wholly lazy route and bring the monsters into our world, but this way is only marginally better as it will not allow the world of MH to be the focus of the plot. And again, why not? We're talking about an entire ecosystem that's comprised of prehistoric monster-like beings who keep each other in line with a fragile balance that the Hunters have to help maintain, else risk disaster. That's enough material for a plot right there!

Instead we've got a trailer chock-full of things that no one wants in a Monster Hunter movie; military weaponry. Yep, instead of the crazy, silly weapons of the franchise, (Which are often scavenged from the bones of other monsters) we have impact-empty shots of military guns firing at CGI monsters. (Oh look, they even recreated that scene from Jurassic Park with the runaway car only this time the car has a gun on it and the scene is in the desert, thus lacking all the claustrophobia which make the JP scene so tense. Cool.) Even by the end of the movie, because this trailer clearly shows off the entire breadth of the movie, we can see that Milla dons some sort of armour, but nothing as garish or ostentatious as you'd actually find in the games; because that would run the fear of actually being passingly cool for half a minute. (Can't have that!)

As for the actual monsters featured in the trailer, all we've really seen in detail are what looks to be a Rathalos and the Black Diablos from the poster. Solid picks, but there are a lot more varied and interesting monsters which would have made this trailer look a lot less generic. Heck, even a standard garden-variety Jagras would have been cool. What about the ever-popular Kirin? The deadly Odogaron? The saber-toothed Barioth? Heck, what about a Behemoth? I know they're technically a cameo from Final Fantasy but I just want to see a Behemoth rendered on the big screen, is that too much to ask? To their credit, at least no attempt was made to redesign the monsters from what I can tell, which is appreciated. I doubt the team have the creativity to design their own monster anyway, considering the distinct lack of such which is displayed in the basic plot of this movie, but I'll take what I can get.

So we have a Monster Hunter movie coming our way and it looks terrible. Are you really surprised? Honestly, 2020 has delivered every other kind of calamity so why not hit us with this finishing blow to truly end things with a whimper? Oh, and you can bet that Paul bent over backwards to make sure that this film made it into the end of the year so that it can be another 2020 garbage fire, it's tucked in there on the 30th of December. Does this movie have the chance to be good? I'm going to go ahead and say 'no' on that front, but it may just be dumb enough for mild entertainment value. (Although it could have been so much more) My utmost hope out of this is that Paul somehow manages to make this successful enough to worm a full adaptation of the Yakuza franchise out of Capcom, so that we can somehow watch him sneak Milla into it as the main character. ("Check out Kiryu's adoptive sister: Kira-Chan!")