There goes Volition

Pour one out

Why can't I love Saints Row The Third?

 Just tell me to stay, dammit!

There was a time when the Saints Row franchise sat at a very special place in my heart and on my shelf of games to play, a time of laughs and fun, and a time that was over far before this new remake series was even a twinkle in Volition's eye. Whereas once it the total epitome of any and everything I could possibly seek out of an open world game, it wasn't long at all before I grew out of the temporary charms the property once offered and consequently grew totally out of this franchise of games. It was never a question of the crassness of the jokes, it was just the style of this approach to open world development, with irrelevant silliness and customisation given paramount importance- all that just no longer aligned with what I wanted from gaming. But that drop-off did not come around the time of Saints Row the Third either, it was definitely in the interim gap between 4 and the reboot. So if that's the case; why can't I fool myself into liking Saints Row the Third?

Though I recognise it's many failings and have since found a series that did the thing I once thought Saints Row was the master of ten times better than those games could ever conceive of, my boyhood love of Saints Row 2 has pretty much grandfathered it into a place of love and reverence within my heart. I couldn't possibly, as I am, bring myself to dislike Saints Row 2. But I cannot spare the same leniency towards it's direct sequel. Where as Saints Row 2 bought me this expansive and distinct open world dripping with side activities around an irrelevant action-gangster movie style plot peppered with dashes of melodrama to make the world feel grounded and thus of some small consequence- Saints Row the Third seemed to spit in the face of most all of that. The open world felt bland and uninspired, the side activities felt laborious and  uncreative and the narrative lost any and all allusion to grit, purpose and consequence and yet still expected anyone to care about it's drastic split-choice ending. I didn't and I never could.

And it's odd for me to lay all of this down when Saints Row the Third was a game I followed like a hawk during it's marketing phases. You must remember that Saints Row 2 was a masterclass of how to make a great crime action game to my inexperienced eyes; I worshipped that game enough to play it to completion no less than 5 times. That's perhaps not 'full completion', but I'm talking finishing all of the side activities, all properties purchased, all missions done, most collectables- pretty much everything of consequence I finished in those 5 playthroughs. For the time, Saints Row 2 was my easy 'forever game' that I could pick up to fulfil any wanting mood. If I wanted to roleplay, I'd go fashion shopping and force my insane games upon the residents, if I wanted to fight zombies I would load into the special zombie wave minigame mode, if I wanted to feel like a TV star I'd grind out the cop-show minigame. Anything I could ever want was in Saints Row 2. So when word started spreading about the newest entry to follow up my love, I could all but faint.

But beyond the honeymoon period of that first playthrough, I've found it truly difficult to justify picking up Saints Row The Third for a second playthrough. I've tried, again and again. I tried at the time, I tried again when I got an Xbox One through the backwards compatibility, I tried again with the Remaster on my PC, I'll probably try again at some point in the future when I forget how easily that game manages to consistently lose me. Some part of me wants desperately to like Saints Row, but the other part of me can't help but see a game that was designed specifically to exorcize all the elements of the Saints Row formula that I thought made that franchise. Because you see, I could have made any openworld game my playground- but Stillwater from Saints Row 2 was special because I felt like it mattered, I felt like it was real to some level and I was playing with that world's strings whenever I departed on my, often somewhat demented, machinations. But as the developers of The Third have been on record stating: all those grounding elements of Saints Row 2, the street-level stakes, the melodrama and the occasional threat of grime, those were considered necessary limitations towards the ultimate vision of the Saints Row franchise. That vision, for the time of it's release, was completed with Saints Row The Third.

Now to be clear, I don't think that Saints Row the Third is a bad game- hell, I think some parts, characters and missions are the best the franchise has to offer. In particular there's the flagship mission in which you infiltrate what will soon become your penthouse whilst Kanye West's 'Power' plays in the background, and it's all an increadibly hype mission. The spectacle and the action hits its vast heights, the mission doesn't overstay its welcome, and if you're fast enough it's totally possible to wrap up events by the time the song is over. But unfortunately, that mission is something of an outlier in a game full of missions that the developers desperately want to be big spectacle headliners. They detailed as much in the press tour for the game wherein Volition developers and designers claimed it was their goal to have at least one unique objective in every level- which itself seems like a fairly reasonable expectation, only for that desire to end up being achieved in technicality rather than in gameplay practice.

I think the limitations of the scale first became apparent to me on the introductory level, a level which was hyped to hell and back before the game released. Why? Because of how whacky and zany it sounded on paper, of course! The Saints, disguised as mascots of their now-celebrity selves, attempt to rob a bank and end up in a wild shootout which has them dangling the entire vault of the bank in the air by the hooks of a flying skycrane whilst it demolishes the top floors of a skyscraper. Doesn't that sound crazy and exciting beyond belief? And it would be... in a live action show. What you must remember is that the concept of 'spectacle' is handled differently in a video game than it is on a show- on TV the events themselves are what wows the audience, with the controller in hand it's how we have a direct influence on those events. That's partially why Quick Time Events never feel as satisfying as those epic in-action flourishes we get to pull off with the right skill, timing and/or luck.

Break down the first mission of Saints Row the Third into it's base gameplay components and you're looking at a mission which goes like this: Basic shooting gallery followed by a small three wave 'ambush' scene finished off by an on-the-rails shooting section against a boss helicopter. Those are the bare bones we have. Fleshing those bones out is what completes the product, but when it comes to Saints Row 3 the developers preferred to play up the wackiness of the cutscenes rather than the substance of the gameplay. Ultimately, a lot of mission end up feeling really straight forward or unintelligently bloated as the design direction gets lost in the pursuit of absurdity above all else- and if that absurdity managed to translate back to the gamepad, maybe they would have had something.

As it stands, the reason I can never find myself playing through Saints Row the Third again is because whenever I play through these opening acts, trying to rekindle something worthy in this package, I just end up getting bored. The sandbox feels inconsequential, the missions look fancy but play hollow and I don't feel anything for the progression of the plot or the story. Not that Saints Row 2 was a genius in any of these categories, but that game at least catered to each listed category somewhat. Saints Row 3 fails even that and what remains is a game that, for me and my tastes, aged like a grape. Now the shrivelled raisin that is Saints Row 3 bares more in common with the modern Saints Row franchise than the previous game I loved ever will, and despite lip service being played to fans of similar sensibilities, it's clear that the restraint of Saints Row 2 is still regarded as a prevailing weakness. As such, for better or for worse, Saints Row just isn't my type of franchise anymore. 

Saints Row: the franchise of mids

 Sing it off to Valhalla; chuckie!

So Saints Row is dead, I think that's a truth without question in the eyes of most with the powers of basic observation available to them. Volition alienated their existing fanbase to cater to a new fanbase who, much to Volition's utmost surprise, expect fun and working products... which Saints Row... isn't. Luckily the game is going to get much more exposure and success than it deserves thanks to the brand it's borrowing from and the novelty of pointing and laughing at a trainwreck, but I think it's safe to say that after a mess like this no one with any industry sense is going to have any faith in Volition. Bare in mind that their last game, Agents of Mayhem, was another absolute misread of their target audience and how they should be marketed towards. That game sold as much as a Sunday market stand would, and whilst Saints Row is obviously going to do better than that on account of just how big this brand used to be, something tells me it's not going to change the trajectory of the downward graph investor's are looking at when they examine the Saints Row franchise.

Which all means we've lost the potential viability of a franchise that, to be honest, had already run its natural course and ended up in a pit of mediocrity. Whilst I've never been a screaming, raving fan of the Saints Row games, I have played every single one of them and absolutely remember a time when they could be considered a real contender in the market. I've enjoyed just about every game in the franchise up until 4 wherein I lost interest entirely; and there even a moment where I could have been nutto for the series; but even Saints Row 2 didn't quite live up to my expectations at that time. You see, the more I examine it, the more I come to the same conclusion; that the Saints Row games have forever been and will always be mid. Apart from this reboot which is apparently an actual poor quality mess. So if long term viability is up on the table to be cut into ribbons; I'm saying it ain't no big loss.

If we go back to the very first Saints Row, a game that many people have invoked recently as if recalling some long-forgotten masterpiece that once graced a dirty and dull world; the game was just sort of alright. It was an obvious clone of GTA that didn't even really lean into the humorous aspects the franchise would become known for too much. If anything, they attempted to lean into the same sardonic view of contemporary and thematic issues and topics that the Rockstar franchise does, only without the vast talented writing talent to make it nuanced and fun. The gameplay was as bad as every open world game's gameplay was back then. The characters were fairly one-note and predictable. Although, and I recognise that this is as substantial as waving your hand over your eyes and declaring you've spotted the 'x-factor'; there is a charm to the game. It's not a chore to play, at least not the first time. The clunky dialogue and performances fit their era; and the city of Stilwater has personality to it; which is more than I can say for literally every other open world game that Deep Silver Volition has ever made.

Saints Row 2 was probably the moment where this franchise really stepped out for itself. When GTA was edging more towards realism, Saints Row was pointing and laughing whilst leaning more towards the inanity of video game craziness. That understated side of the original was blown up into the driving force of Saints Row 2, and most all the rest of the minigames and activities that have become such mainstays of the franchise that the team are incapable of envisioning any more, were born for this game. It played significantly better than Saints Row 1, simulated a more complete open world and just generally provided a very malleable playground for destruction, much as you'd might expect from the team behind 'Red Faction'. There was also a point in time when people used to laud the story for Saints Row 2, (which is broadly just the exact same framework as Saints Row 1 refitted to slide atop 2) as the 'perfect balance between comedy and drama'. In hindsight I can certainly say there is a balance, and it is somewhat effective; but that title of 'perfection' seems laughable in a post Yakuza 0 world. Just like Saints Row 1, 2 has sort of shrunken with age and whilst I still think the game stands out as 'respectable'; it's not a generational masterpiece like the PS2 era GTA games are. One might even call it... mid tier.

Saints Row 3 was when the series got stuck. They tried to balance a tightrope with Saints Row 2, and that showed them their audience reacted best to the silly content, so they made a game leaning more into all the zaniness. Now it was all about throwing as much craziness as they could logic out: stripper assassins? We can make it work. Dildo Bat? Amazed we didn't do that earlier. Text-based adventure segment? It would have to be brief, but we could swing it! Zombie invasion? Oh, well that just sounds like a piece of cake! All of which resonated with a lot of people out there who saw Saints Row as the sillier brother to GTA, but which came at the cost of the open world. Steelport has been Volition's worst open world. A stale, grey, industrial block entirely lacking in character and distinction. And as the world became more boring to explore, the activities provided therein became more of a chore than a distraction. A check-list of 'do this for X reward' instead of 'do this because it's fun'. Progression in some angles, regression in others. Perfectly middling.

And then Saints Row 4 went off the deep end. Like your drug addict friend that you watch slowly lose all grip on themselves; Saints Row slipped into the crazy and went too far with it. Not to the point where it became offensive; but to where it became boring and predictable. Rather than be a great game in it's own right with comedic elements, Saints Row decided it was going to become a parody of it's own genre and mock any others it could get it's sights on too. Stakes stopped mattering, characters stopped developing, (which, as much as I knock Saints 3; they were still progressing as characters until 4) nothing had any weight to it anymore; which made the act of breaking the rules inconsequential. Heck, they blew up the earth and replaced it with a matrix-like simulation, subconsciously erasing all stakes and giving them the go-ahead to do whatever they wanted. And when logic doesn't matter anymore, the question then comes up about how crazy you can go; and Volition just aren't that creative. It was all pretty bland-silly, not head-churning silly, and to call the game 'mid' is honestly something of a glowup.

Agents of Mayhem is a curious matter. Created as a kind of clean break away from what Saints Row was becoming, whilst staying beholden to it's brand and a choice selection of its character's in a confusing display that made the marketing as convoluted as the Wii U's. The original pitch appeared to be that it was a television show set within the Saints Row universe, but that couldn't be possible because the entire earth was destroyed at the beginning of 4. And then Johnny Gat was in the show? How could that be? He was killed in the 'real world' which meant he'd have some trouble playing himself on TV. (Also, he was one of the gang that believed the celebrity-status was 'selling out', so he wouldn't star in a show anyway.) Basically, no one knew what Agents of Mayhem was supposed to be even contextually let alone in gameplay. (They kind of made it look like a hero shooter.) And so the game sold about five copies. I was not one of them, I can't really attest to if the game was another mid or not.

Which brings us back around to the reboot. Saints Row is not the golden standard of the industry so delivering a thoroughly average game is not, in itself, a betrayal to the shining ideals of the franchise. However, delivering a hardly functioning mess knocks an average down to a pitiable low. Also, I hear tell that Agents of Mayhem is still increadibly buggy five years after launch, so it's somewhat possible that Volition leave Saints Row in a decently shoddy state when they abandon ship from this cursed franchise. Does that mean we'll never get the masterpiece that Saints Row is capable of? Honestly, I don't think this series ever had itself a firm enough grasp on it's own identity in order to create that masterpiece. It's entire life it has existed purely within context of others. Saints Row 1 was Grand Theft Auto but scrappier and back to 'the streets'. Saints Row 2 was 'Gta but fun and silly again'. Saints Row 3 was 'your typical open world game but crude and wild where it's purpose is to make meta jokes on as many pop culture topics the team can think of', and Saints Row 4 was just an episode of Family Guy but a game. Maybe somewhere in the minds of Volition's the point of this reboot was to give Saints Row that identity, as the game that identifies with the modern struggling young adults; but they're fear of committing to a new direction, whilst simultaneously fearing associating with what came before, led to a final product totally pulled apart at the seams.