Scamdivers

 

I've always been a fan of scams and scamming. Wait... no hang on- that came out horribly wrong! What I meant to say was, I've always been a fan of content pertaining to the documentation of other people scamming, particularly how they did it and where it all came crashing down around them and they are fed their just deserts. Coffezilla, Kitboga- the good stuff. Which is why I found myself so totally enthralled when news dropped of the recent scam, the first time something like this really became headline news (though absolutely not the first time this has ever happened.) Helldivers 2. The absolute shameless rip-off scam game that no one should buy, Helldivers 2. Unbelievable scummy and deserving of hatred and condemnation Helldivers 2... Okay, not that Helldivers 2.

No, I'm not coming for the throat of 2024's second smash hit video game in three months, scoring stupidly high and unfortunately reviving everyone's belief in the viability of Live Service games whilst the bugger was literally on his death bed. (I blame those developers for the next four years of pain this Industry is going to suffer as idiots stumble of themselves trying to replicate that success but worse in every conceivable way.) What I am coming for is the video game Helldivers 2, which was totally unrelated to the smash hit game of the exact same name but released under that title, with the exact same banner, for a cheaper price, on Steam. The magnet for all the worst video game developers to be rejected from the endless hole of Ginnungagap.

Yes, it's so very simple- isn't it? Just throw down the application fee, throw up a game with the exact same name and watch as people helplessly fall for the scam like the big dumb idiots that they are. Okay, to be fair I could absolutely see this one slipping past me because honestly- who expects Steam games to be totally fabricated? In hindsight I guess there is nothing that can really be shored up on the backend to prevent this from existing- sad as it is to say. There are genuine behind-the-store development reasons why a game might need to be loaded to the storefront with the exact same name as another, and Steam is certainly too large for human eyes to validate every new game to any reliable degree- and at the very least we know Steam holds onto funds long enough that it's unlikely the scammer got their hands on a single red penny out the hands of the unfortunate.

But it makes you think, doesn't it? What other scams slip by the Steam barriers? I mean just earlier this year we caught the tail end of a momunemental scam of marketing that plateaued exclusively on Steam. The disaster of 'The Day Before', a game that was originally marketed by a duo of numbskulls who greatly overestimated the extent of what they could achieve with the revolving door of contractors they failed to properly pay, but managed to stop just shy of overselling the game poorly enough to be easily spotted by everyone like what Dreamworld did. (Speaking of- just saw a Youtube trailer for that game the other day. It's almost commendable how that man hasn't given up and run yet. True delusion.) The Day Before made it all the way to 24 hours before it collapsed under the weight of it's own false promises- and Steam was there to dance on it's grave as the rivers carried it's mangled corpse off to Hellhiem with the now iconic 'The Day After sale.' Cutting.

Some scams are as simple as declaring themselves straight-up to be some horrendously overpriced waste of your time and rest on the laurels of that fact itself in order to be a viable product. I'm talking about the 300$ bargain-bin twin sticks that do the rounds on social media as "Oh my god, I can't beleive a game is this expensive!" All in the hopes of luri9ng in just a couple curious heads to make a purchase for the memes of it all. Remember that all it takes is one purchase for the team to have tripled their investment, and those that go for the tried and tested excuse of "I'm spending the money so you don't have to" drown themselves in cope to justify the funding of the next two publicity stunts they just fostered in their support, seriously or joking.

And then there are the totally 100% legitimate scams that are just the examples of purposefully obfuscated marketing moves. Maybe the deluxe editions of the game overlap content with the season pass but you have to buy both in order to access anything on offer. Maybe the currency packs are purposefully priced to force players to spend a little bit more than what they need, ensuring they are always somewhere along the path to get something extra and thus have that extra push to spend again at some point. Maybe the scam is just the fact that the game is available on the Early Access system and will never once become a fully viable product because being pushed out the door and the team going straight onto their next product. It really is a whole world out there for scammers!

Because that is the consequence of an industry like ours, as big as it is and resplendent with as many bad actors as it is. With billions flying around it only makes sense that rats are going to try and stand on the backs of actual giants trying to catch their slice of the pot, it's only a question of what is going to be done to try and squash them before they nab some. Nintendo used to be very protective over it's library of games on offer until the pathetic storefront of the Wii U forced them to go in the exact opposite direction and now the Switch has straight softcore hentai on their servers. Steam seems to have it's floodgates totally open and handle their issues on a case by case basis. Surely there has to be a middle ground somewhere in there!

Part of what makes the Games Industry so great is the barrier to entry allowing anyone with the passion and time to sit down and stick something together if they really want to try at it- in any number of tools, run by any number of engines, crossing over any number of genres- but that is it's greatest weakness too. When you can literally download the template for a game, spend $100 on Steam and get a spot on their storefront- you have to start wondering about the nittygritty of what makes and actual game developer on an almost spiritual level- which is a far more thought than really should have to go into a silly passtime. At the end of the day- Don't buy Helldivers 2. Buy Helldivers 2 instead.