GTA 6?

 I don't buy it

Hark do mine ears lie? Surely they must because how else could we be subjected to that most impossible of news ringing again soundly from the rafters? With industry insiders now being conjured from out of the woodworks, confirming these most unbelievable of words. Words that claim Rockstar are actively in development of Grand Theft Auto 6 and are approaching basic development milestones already. People seem to be decently happy with a 2025 estimation, which seems insane given that I was fully expecting the next GTA to come out... well never. It has been close to nine years since the launch of Grand Theft Auto V, it'll be twelve once 6 comes, if these estimations pan out according to plan. All logic should dictate that we're actually late for our sequel but... well this is Rockstar and this is GTA. Going the next generation without any new release seemed much more than plausible.

So what is so crazy, what do I find so hard to wrap my head around? It's the risk, honestly; the risk that Rockstar are opening themselves up to might be par the course for any enterprising company worth it's salt but most of those risky, deal-cutting, small times aren't seeing the kind of numbers that Rockstar do. Rockstar rake in near to a billion in yearly annual profit, despite not even being a company that does yearly releases, all because of the live service model that GTA Online adopted which Rockstar seized like a cow and milked it bone dry. To even considering making a sequel to GTA V, even acknowledging that this sequel will have GTA Online 2 attached, is introducing risk that I'd imagine most skittish investors to find totally unacceptable. Because here's the thing, GTA Online is growing in profits, by maintaining the status quo Rockstar could keep the gravy train rolling in indefinitely and simply shut away the outside world, just like Facebook did until it lost it's active users for the first time in the platform's history recently. (Guess the Herman Cain Award is really paying in dividends, huh.)

But a GTA 6? That threatens all that. Picture this, GTA 6 comes out with a brand new Online mode and it sucks. Momentum is kicked back to basics, Rockstar have to build up it's online audience and win back trust in the game over a process that could take years in order to stabilise profits near what they would have been if they had simply done nothing. Or what if it's good, but Rockstar has a hard time migrating the audience from one game to the other (The players having spent literal years with their legacy toons and items from GTA V) so that revenue potentials are halved. Sure they'll still make some money out of GTA Online Mk1, but without active development and content being put into that old game those returns are going to dry up and wham, Rockstar are making a fraction of what they do today. There's so many ways this could tip one milligram in the wrong direction and scuff up a good thing for Rockstar investors everywhere; it's so delicate I'm shocked the investors aren't actively picketing the development studios as we speak to halt their potential downturn. (If I were in their shoes, I'd certainly consider it.)

Now realistically, Rockstar had to move on eventually. GTA V may have been inexplicably healthy after all of these years but nothing lasts forever and you want to always be palming the next triumph in your pocket, but honestly I expected Rockstar to wait until Online was actually receiving diminishing returns before making this move. I suppose in their eyes they're looking at this as an opportunity to go off on a high note and smoothly transition from this plateau to a whole new mountain range so that the ascension can continue unabated. Also there is something inherently British about no wanting to drag things out past their prime. (Pretending they haven't done that with GTA V proper for a while now.) For the sake of reputation and dignity it's best to take the old lame dog out back and put it out of it's misery. I just don't understand how Rockstar came to that conclusion. But let's assume that we do believe the story that GTA 6 is in active development...

Where is it going to be set? The answer seems obvious; GTA IV was set in Liberty City for the hundredth time, 5 bought us to San Andreas so it seems almost natural that VI would bring us around to Vice City again, but somehow I'm not sure. You see Rockstar never pick a setting just because it'll be cool, they pick places with something modern and relevant to mock and a lot of opportunity for satirical subtext. In 2013 LA made for a perfect parody point because of the place that Hollywood was in for the time and there's probably a whole other game's worth of commentary content still there from all the years since, and Miami was iconic during the 80's (for being the cocaine capital among other things) which is why it seemed like such a no-brainer for the original Vice City to be set during that time. But modern day Miami? What has that been known for recently? Which isn't to say that I don't think Vice City is in the running, but I don't think it will be bought to life in the way that people expect.

When fans think of a return to Vice City they're reminiscing all of the gaudy style, the hit-pink neon lights cut with baby-blue accents, All-day night clubs with classic 80's jams and that constant aura of a party atmosphere that has far outstayed it's welcome. But that isn't really Miami anymore, at least not from the outside perspective. (Actually, Miami has been embracing that side of themselves in recent tourism marketing, but I'm talking literally the past couple of years. It's not deeply ingrained in their culture or anything.) But do you know what is more in the vein of today, what is more relevant to the now and makes easy ground for mockery? The absurdity of the wider state of Florida. Due to the laws around publishing legal proceedings being lax, Florida has fostered a reputation in the infomation age of being home to all the insanity of America. (Or at least a lightning rod for it.) Crocodile sightings, bath salt attacks, crazy drunken benders ending in destruction; all of these examples and so much more plaster the reputation of Florida and paints the impression that the entire state is the wasted little brother of America proper. And just tell me that doesn't make prime Rockstar fodder!

A modern Vice City would need focus on the surrounding environment too, such as adapting the marshes of the Everglades or depicting the rampant nightmare-scape of Florida's The Villages old-folks homes. Amplifying and profiting off the untamed bizarreness of a State so prolific that the term 'Florida man' is now used as short-hand for 'nutcase'. There would be opportunity for exercising some of that recent wilderness design expertise the world design team has left over from Red Dead, and maybe they'll even go the extra mile of including another city too, to highlight diversity in the types of city maps they can produce. (I don't know what other city they'd make though.) Of course, the place where they set the game is mostly irrelevant, Rockstar are going to want to impress by pushing forward the genre (something they mentioned in the announcement post) and who knows what form that's going to take- we might as well be making bets on the amount of average rainfall over the summer in Warsaw; it's all guesswork.

Whatever the case may be, and provided we take everything we've heard at total face value, then I suppose it's time to rejoice: Grand Theft Auto 6 will be a reality! What with how everything has moved in the industry, and how certain developers who shall not be named tried and failed to supplant Rockstar's hold on this genre, I cannot wait to have my general gaming expectations totally overshadowed and rewritten before my very eyes. Last time Rockstar revealed their game with that initial GTA V trailer I remember having something of a panic attack which required me to run around the block in order to calm down, so I'm hoping for a more tamer reaction this time now that I'm... nearly a decade older... Wow, I am going to dead before GTA X. Wild.