Heartbreaking! The worst people you know just broke up.
Everyone knows my extensive thoughts of EA and their machinations are very negative; in that I think the company are a bunch of moustache twirling evil doers with who would simply delight in tying their player base to railroad tracks. On the otherhand you have the total moral-less ghouls over at FIFA, full to the brim with corruption and heavy skirting around human-rights laws and more little things, like the way they've teamed up with modern day slavers in order to bring around next year's World cup. (I'm not even exaggerating with that one like I usually do; FIFA are actually actively and happily in bed with well known Qatarian slave owners) That these two piles of assorted filth wrapped up and paraded around like real human beings, should be wed in unholy matrimony seems almost fitting. Or totally fitting actually. These scumbags deserve each other.
But in that most perfect of pairings one has to sit down and honestly ask; what happens when two terrible people end up together? Or rather, how long before they start being terrible to one another? I mean it just stands to reason, doesn't it? Who you are isn't going to just 'switch off' because you went and found your soul mate. And indeed it did not for FIFA when just this month past we had the news dropped upon us, like children at the aftermath of their parent's last shouting match, that the papers have been filed and the official divorce proceedings are due any day now. If by 'any day' you mean in exactly one year, because I think the contract is still valid for at least another singular FIFA game entry. But what went wrong? Who got greedy? And even though we all know the answer is 'both parties', who is really more to blame for this utter breakdown?
Well first we must go to the beginning, ah those much more innocent times when FIFA was actually making games that required effort and weren't put together by a bunch of clueless hacks barely able to switch an ico file. (Yeah, I'm done pretending that ground floor developers are 'great tortured artists doomed to struggle against unyielding upper management'. At this point they know what they've signed up for and thus are worthy of at least a dismissive ire.) In the many years since EA first negotiated their exclusivity deal with FIFA to be the only people worthy of carrying those proud real Football club names into their game, the face of what the FIFA games actually represent has changed significantly. What was once a video game created to entertain people is a finally tuned legal loophole that utilises casino-approved hooks and metal tricks to try and drain as much money from possible out of their users. And if you know anything about FIFA, you're going to know that's something they'll want in on.
FIFA Ultimate Team alone is the most profitable venture for EA and one of the biggest income generators in the entire industry right now. When the total profitability of the games market first crossed the billion dollar mark, Ultimate team was hanging the shadows of that particular 'achievement'. It's a mode that just recently we heard an executive try to justify as (to paraphrase) 'brining an authentic managerial experience involving tactical taxing choices.' Very much showcasing EA leaning on FIFA as their excuse for poor behaviour, so it only makes sense then, that FIFA would want some kickback money for accepting that insanely poor misdirection attempt aimed their way. Maybe something to the tune of- 1 billion dollars. (Insert Mr evil with pinkie in his mouth)
"Ahem, what?", was what I can only assume EA's reaction was to such a stark demand. Actually the figure in question was closer to 250 million a year resulting in a 1 billion check every four years, which is entirely affordable by a company who makes over a billion a year and spends most of that on kick backs to management, but do you really expect EA higherups to give up their free meal ticket like that? Honestly, did anyone really think it through and honestly assume that Electronic Arts had even the slightest possibility of paying this deal? I'd imagine that FIFA just thought they had a bigger bargaining position then they did and tried to exploit it, which on it's face is probably the sort of action that EA could respect, but that doesn't mean it was something they were going to just stand for.
I mean the threat is obvious, either you pay us our blackmail-level amount of money or you can't use our names that we happen to own anymore. "We're not actually contributing anything of value to the development of your game, but then neither are you so we're pretty much equal in development effort right now and thus deserve equal splits of the profits." Unfortunately for FIFA, reports seem to suggest that EA have enough backchannels laid out, likely in anticipation of this very situation, (Remember, the scumminess of these two companies is renowned and well-known by all) that EA doesn't need to start doing an old-school PES set-up and create a whole bunch of faux-teams with faux-players that decent enough football fans can figure out if they squint enough. ("Oh, this team is 'North-London FC', let's see if I can't deduce this one down...")
So then it would seem that EA have already decided to spit in the face of FIFA and they're set to go their separate ways, yet if that should happen there's at least one loose thread to this story that needs to be answered: What happens to the FIFA name? I mean, that name has become synonymous with the yearly Football game release that mindless football fans flock to without anything resembling self respect. Well, and remember that this all comes down to leaks and thus could be subject to change on the drop of a dime, apparently EA have already planned to completely rename the series after next year's entry to- prepare yourself- 'EA Sports FC'. Okay, that leak actually comes from a blocked trademark people noticed, so it's not as concrete as internal leaks, and that is an awful name for a football game, it sort of implies that your company is the Football club, but I choose to believe in it's legitimacy. It would suit the tackiness of the studio behind it.
So what a beautiful tragedy to play out behind the scenes of the industry without a sliver of a word from EA themselves. (as if, what; they're going to change their minds? Hell no.) I laud those that managed to wrangle out this story for themselves now that they've given us a little bit of hope for the future that EA is going to loose their powerful brand and maybe even slip some of that staying power too. Afterall these Sports fans are largely intellectually incapable of making sound purchasing decisions as it is, how are they going to figure it out when the series undergoes a name change? They may just enter a comatose state right in the games store. And it's just as good news that the FIFA organisers are losing one of their biggest brand ambassadors to the rest of the world so that their fake face will have a harder time obscuring the worm ridden corpse beneath. All in all: this couldn't have happened to more deserving people.
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