So- we're not forgiving Peter Molyneux, right?

 

There was a time when saying the name 'Molyneux' was the same as uttering a slur. And not just a boring old normal slur- but the kind of slur that can actually get you kicked off of an online server- and trust me those are far and few between. And that was because the man whom it belonged, Peter, had developed a reputation for... well... building hype for his games by bragging about sweet nothings. Essentially Peter was as much a hype merchant as a studio director- selling to his audience the same way he might sell to investors- pitching the 'dream' of what he might achieve whilst in the background sanitising that dream into something much smaller and deliverable. Investors expect this, they aren't invested in the product itself but rather the returns it generates. Customers very much care about the product and feeling as though they've received their money's worth. Thus Peter became a foe. 

We could go all the way back to the days of the original Fable and the seed that would one day grow into a massive tree which didn't exist, or the much more recent project of 'Godus' which promised to make a member of the public a god within that world- before abandoning both him and the game within a year. Peter's legacy lives on as a string of lies to otherwise well regarded games. I actually played through the Fable games for the first time earlier this year, (I'd only played three before) and I have to say- they're mostly decent. Horribly aged, but fun enough romps to kill some time with. (I think people's whining about how dumbed down the combat was after the original game is hilariously overblown- that original game's combat was frank trash.) But none of these games really needed to be lied about to earn their reputation as classics. It was all for nothing.

And in the years since we've actually received another famous fibber who unintentionally found themselves walking the very same path as Peter. Hello Games' No Mans Sky had a whole feature list promised by it's founder that I think have only just all made it to the game as of the last couple of title updates- years after launch. But of course Hello Games managed to recover their reputation in grand fashion and have developed an excellent reputation as a Space game provider despite the fact that the combat is still total ass. Maybe that was the example that spoke to Peter- that told him there was a way back into the good wills of gamers. To become the renowned designer he was once considered. I'd personally say that ship has sailed- but who am I to tell a man what he can and can't be?

The first step in that journey of redemption? Self deprecation! That's right, Peter is already making fun of his mobile diatribes as a prolonged lapse in his own sanity in order to build up his glorious return to PC- a market literally designed to gobble up the kinds of games he wants to make. Which is sensible and modern in it's approach, but also wantonly in disregard of the fact that he didn't just sell his soul to the mobile market. Let it not be forgotten that Peter also tried to flog a painfully cringe NFT project but a few years back. 'Legacy' was another nowhere NFT project that pitched itself on the value of virtual land that no one wants whilst it collapsed after launch. Essentially an 'unwitting' scam that put a bunch of morons out of pocket. But hey- at least those wastes of human life are now funding Peter's next project. Which is a game?

'Masters of Albion' is the new game on the horizon and to quote the trailer itself- the twenty person team involved are dedicated towards making something "New, Unique and Different", which is... three soft synonyms in a row, for god's sake! Albion is very much the setting for this game and rather curiously Peter seems to be introducing this setting as familiar, indicating this is indeed the same Albion from Fable without explicitly stating that- despite the very apparent fact that he doesn't own the rights to Fable. And so the fidgety relationship with the truth starts, because it can never be simple with Peter, can it? His argument is that because 'Albion' is a historical name for England it cannot possible be owned by a single copyright, however his use of 'Albion' and framing of it construes an obvious relationship with a brand he does not own and his legalise half-truths are a very iffy ground to walk on.

Now to his credit- Peter is trying to make something a lot more in his wheelhouse this time around. 'Masters of Albion' is a 'god game' designed around building up a city and serving as the literal hand of god attempting to keep the city alive and profitable. Or maybe not- it seems to be up to your discretion. The hook here appears to be the ability to self design every aspect of the world you're working with, from the buildings that count as housing to the weapons that they wield. Of course, Spore offered the same experience years ago however the actual town building propositions of Spore were very limited to be sure. Not anymore limited than what 'Masters of Albion' is currently presenting though- but we're just in the teasing stages right now.

I don't see anything insanely transformative about 'Masters of Albion' that marks the decades since 'Black and White' and indicates any sense of refinement- but then I suppose this style of town builder has been somewhat dormant in those years. I feel like town building games have ceded their popularity to colony management games such as Rimworld- with the obvious provision that Rimworld presents a vastly individual-focused take on the god-game formula whereas something of Masters of Albion's leaning seems to focus more on micromanaging an entire community. I think the game looks rough and artistically uninspired from someone who once pioneered this genre- but it has more charm than anything else he's proposed over the past ten years. Which is something?

But let's be clear- it doesn't just relieve Peter Molyneux of everything he does because he's announced a game more in-line with his style- he is still a scam artist with a history of abandoning projects when they get too hard and long before they've reached anything resembling their 'potential'. We'd need something vastly more impressive than what Masters is currently posing before any consideration of reparations can be considered- and to be honest after playing through all the old Fable games and seeing how they hold up in the modern day- I don't think he has it in him. I don't think he ever had it in him. 

Peter Molyneux is 'Sorry', everyone!

 That just makes it all better!

Molyneux Malignantly Muddles his dignity

He can't stop falling

I'm pretty sure it's no controversial opinion to say that Peter Molyneux is something of tragic character in a greek play, in that he's destined to debase himself more and more when all he wants to do is change the world. And I do genuinely believe the man want's to change the world. Is he a pathological and compulsive liar? Yes. But will he hide that behind grand dreams that stretch beyond the mere ken of programming limitations? Everyday of the week. Because Peter is a factory of ideas, and sometimes he even knows how to implement them too, but far too often we're left with a Peter who sizzles out before the landing and, unfortunately, it's the missed promises that linger in the mind more than the hit and runs. It just feels more personal, like a childhood sleight. When you break a promise you shatter a glass heart, and glass can never be put back together the same way.

But we all know this about Peter, who he is and why that makes him such an unreliable spout of infomation, yet I think it bears reminding just so you know the depths to which he has sunk so far. Right now I think it's fair to call him a mostly well meaning business man who may have slipped out of touch with reality a while back and never quite managed to get back on the train. He directed fantastic titles once upon a time, but now his name attached to anything is like a death sentence, one a lot more reliable than any of his predictions for what his final games may hold. And to be clear, I don't hold him to the same regard as Sean Murray. (at least, not anymore.) Murray made one good game, for comparison, and tied a lot of behind the scenes talks into out-loud interviews without comprehending what the concept of 'marketing' was. The difference is, it took some time but Sean learned from his mistakes, he knows the team is best served showing what they're close to completing rather than candidly sharing some mild speculation last whispered over the water cooler a couple days back. Peter didn't learn. Peter never learns. And like the Greek tragedy, it's this fatal character flaw that will bring him down time and time again.

It's what bought him to overpromise with Fable back in the day, what had him grow disquiet when he received his 'lifetime achievement award' and act out on his own. What had him try and sell a tech demo as a game. (I bet his developers just loved him for that) What bade him to wantonly overpromise with his mobile app, then again with Godus and now, with the latest big craze. But you may be wondering exactly what vice the great M has gotten muddled up in this time. What strange juvenile delight has captured his perpetually mid-life crisis brain? Prostitution? Drug running? Nay, my friends, something much more dire and deeply dastardly. He's become a cryptobro, or rather, a feeder of these cryptobros, because our man has jumped aboard the NFTs.

I know, I know; I don't wanna hear about Non Fungible Tokens for the fifteenth time this last hour! But you know, I've been hearing regular updates about these things since around about March and I've done a wonderful job keeping them out of this blog until now! But all good things must come to an end and the video game industry loves to taste shoe every now and then, and so here we are, talking about the rampant surge of NFTs in our videogames. Yet I am going to go out on a limb here and say that the industry has spedrun it's way to the single worst possible implementation of NFTs in gaming, so news is likely to only go up from here. (It can hardly get worse) I'm being serious, when the idea of tying blockchain purchases with the video game world was first seriously considered, this was the cartoonishly worst-case scenario we all thought up but never believed anyone would be so mindnumbling idiotic as to pursue. But then that's the reason I introduced Peter Molyneux at the beginning of this story, now isn't it?

Molyneux want's to change things, just like he always does, only this time he wants to break the chains of modern design limitations, blur the lines between game and life, pioneer a new genre and create the world's first Strand-like ga- wait, that's something else. Actually, Peter Molyneux wants to sell you land. Virtual land, of course. His new game idea 'Legacy', will have people (turn to the entry 'Morons' in your textbooks) purchasing NFTs pertaining to ownership of land, upon which they will (and he has been very vague about these specifics) design and sell products that are 'real'? (NFTs is what he means, I assume.) Of course, the economy will be backed by real people and the products sold will be... virtual, I guess? Oh, and you'll be able to rope in others by selling them licences to start their own business selling your product, making them partners in your endeavour.

So essentially what we're looking at here is a sort of plan, or 'scheme' if you prefer, whereupon the first person makes up an idea to sell products and then sells the rights to sell that product to some people below them. Thanks to the nature of the blockchain, kickbacks head upwards so the person at the head will make money from everything that the people below them have set up, and those people will likely want to reach out to contractors of their own. Essentially we'll have made a business structure that resembles this sort-of Christmas tree-shape or a traditional triangle. Maybe even a pyramid. Which means that Peter's newest game will be in giving players the unmatchable honour of participating in this Pyramid-shaped scheme, wherein (of course) Peter and his team will be at the tip-top raking in those NFT royalties. When did gaming become everyone's 'get-rich quick' disposable dishrag again?

It's infuriating, because what started as a genuinely creative person with hopes and dreams behind him has devolved into a a swindler, plain and simple. There's no way to twist this into a good intention turned sour, he's a figure made famous for his creativity repackaging and reselling the idea of pyramid schemes in the guise of a video game. A game which, incidentally, doesn't even sound the slightest bit fun. And this isn't even a product made with actual game fans in mind either, it never is about the fans when NFTs get involved. Because typical fans aren't the one's going around dropping hundreds of thousands on intangible digital assets, they haven't got that capital. NFTs are just bait to drum up a community of stupid rich cryptobros to enter into an incestuous cycle of trading the same NFTs back and forth until this whole bubble bursts, meanwhile the guys lucky enough to be behind these communities are getting their cut of every single transaction without having to risk a cent. Is that laid out plain enough, do you think?

Of course, it doesn't matter what I or anyone else thinks because this has already worked. People have fed Molyneux's vultures over 50 million dollars just in their purchasing of fake land in this preliminary phase before the game actually comes out next year. And doesn't this all just remind you of something? It's pretty much that Earth 2 scam from a while back, with the only difference being that Peter actually has a team that can code so there'll probably be a game to use all these assets on by the end of this. Will that game be total trash? Who knows, I sort of hope not. But then again, considering the nakedly avaricious taint to this entire leg of Peter's life story, maybe I hope it is trash so that this sort of greed strewn swindling doesn't get enabled anymore than it already has. I wish I could say you've disappointed me, Molyneux, but in truth you've just lived up to the stereotype you've built for yourself. Merry Christmas.