How to deftly show you're out-of-touch with half of an opinion piece

'Silly players; games are for kids!'

Oh, what a treat! My favourite RPG of all time gets a remaster announced (More on that next week) and hardly twenty four hours later I am graced with the glory of a town jester, come to make all our weeks better by making a fool of herself. I'm not even joking right now, I am giddy to see Camilla Tominey's article from a week back where she downs a shot of red and spits fire about her utter disdain towards the gaming industry, for her own special little reasons. It puts butterflies in my stomach! I just can't remember the last time we have someone truly silly come to entertain us like this, well actually I do but that was a bit more baffling for who it was tripping themselves up, this is just the ramblings of a clueless reporter who really wants a scapegoat to let off her steam at. So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, allow me introduce you to the hero of our story; Camilla. (It's her, I already said her name but I'm just confirming that, yes, she is the one we're talking about)

Camilla is the Associate Editor for The Telegraph, which is one of the big newspapers over here in England, so we ain't looking at some misguided intern who somehow managed to stumble into the writing room; we have a career reporter here. Such a career reporter, that in her own blurb she lists her premier journalist moments as having covered 9/11, general elections and Brexit! (One of those is certainly a lot more serious than the others, but wow.) But then, and remember that this is from her own blurb, she holds proud the fact that the only award she's ever been nominated for was scoop of the year in 2016. (She lost to a deep dive into the Archbishop of Canterbury's family heritage. I think I fell to sleep just writing that. Stiff competition at these award shows, huh.) And what was this article which was nominated, you ask? What did she feel the need to slap onto her list of accomplishments on the official Telegraph website? Well, it was the 'exclusive story breaking the news of Prince Harry's relationship with Megan Markle'. (She's the one that said Megan made Kate cry over a row about dresses) So all that talk about the 'worthy' topics she's helmed and 'hard hitting journalism'- slightly undercut by the fact the only thing she's been recognised for is tabloid crap. Let's you know that underneath the shiny job title and twenty years at the job, we're talking about a gutter journalist at heart. (It helps to know that going in, so you really have a sense of where our author is coming from.)

But why did I dive head first into the muck of this Camilla woman? Why, because I was just so eager to learn what sort of life experiences one would have to go through in order to be this wound-tight. You would have to be somewhat wound in order to pen an opinion piece entitled "Grown men shouldn't be wasting their lives playing video games". Woah saddle up, gamers, Camilla is going to tell us how to live our lives so that we can be proper manly men. (She would be the authority on this afterall. She covered Harry and Megan!) She also seems to have borrowed from my style of filling her subheader with purposefully esoteric stingers. "The only adults who still use the word "Playtime" aren't the types to be found on the tube. They're busy riding around on E-scooters". Wow. There's a lot of unspoken hostility to be unpacked there. 

First of all, our heroine appears to be under the assumption that people who ride around E-scooters do it for fun? Perhaps she thinks it's some sort of ritual through which these man-children celebrate their unwillingness to join the 'adult' world that she occupies. (You know, the world which has her digging in garbage bins to find out which celebrity is dating the royal family today.) Secondly, she appears to, perhaps unintentionally, place the tube as a superior form of transport for the sensible. Which, and I mean no offense, is the sort of opinion that can only be held by actual sadomasochists. Who, on this wide multi-coloured earth, would choose to ride in the subway, smothered by unwashed bodies, packed like a sardine and cut off from sunlight, if they even have the choice for alternative transport. Also, although this shouldn't need to be said, E-scooter users are probably heading for their jobs, Camilla, same as you. (I can't tell is this is evidence of an entitled upbringing or just the late stage blossoming of general acute misanthropy)

But back on track. During one of her pleasant trips to the bowels of London in order to take the tube, Camilla spied an advertisement (presumably whilst trying her hardest to imagine she was anywhere beside in the underground system. Because it's horrible.) showing grown adults and a child playing a Nintendo Switch together. A Switch, just like the one favoured by her child daughter at home! (Egads, I think I just threw up in my mouth!) "It appears" she comments on the advert "To make the false assumption that most commuters like to while away their spare hours playing Mario Kart, Minecraft or Pokemon." Err... is anyone going to tell Camilla that she literally just listed three of the biggest gaming brands on the market? Three that are definitely played by millions of adults? Nah, she wouldn't believe that. It would have taken her less than three minutes of basic internet research to look up, and our Lady doesn't have time for that nonsense! She's too busy suiting up in the evenings to take up her rounds as the actual fun police. 

This whole tirade is born from her perception that the world's advertisers are making a concerted effort to 'infantilise' commuters, with such efforts like advertising video games with the hashtag SetPlaytimeFree, (That is a horrible hashtag, I'll give Camilla that) and mind the gap signs alongside Covid restriction reminders and- wait a second, those last two aren't advertisements. Does- does Camilla not know what advertisements are? Does she think that if it's on the wall than that means some company is paying for it? No, now I am being facetious; I know that she's just venting and letting her equivalences slip away from her a little. No judging here, I'm a blogger, I do that all the time. (Admittedly, I'm not paid to write articles...) I just find it funny how, when she lets the mask slip, our Associate Editor turns out to be quite the authoritarian gatekeeping grump. 'You can't be an adult and play video games, because I said so. Just like I said Megan made Kate cry, despite that very fact being disputed by Megan Markle herself.' (You see how easy it is to do research on topics, Camilla? That took twenty seconds!)

Needless to say, this article got a tiny bit eviscerated when it was tweeted out- seems people aren't just being sensible and listening to Camilla tell them exactly about how men aren't allowed to have fun. No, it is the man's job to go out and hunt the boar with his spear so that he may feed the wife and children back home, that is the only acceptable way to spend free time! Oh, and when she was called out on Twitter, Camilla did the one thing you never do, she tried to slap back when one user pointed and laughed at her embarrassing career highs covering the royal family- Uh, I mean, super respectable work providing gutter journalism to the masses. (Don't worry Camilla, in about 10 years Prince George will be dating and you can jumpstart your career once again! Scoop of the year is yours this time, for certain!) Superhero Camilla shot back with a biting comment pointing out that she covered "POLITICS" too, which would have been obvious  if were weren't "too busy playing Mario Kart" (Oh, call an Ambulance; the world's population of gamers need immediate treatment for that burn.)

So I'm going to stop here, because honestly I think I might have gone a little too deep in deconstructing this poor woman's entire career. I'm sure she's lovely in pers- actually, she really doesn't sound it. I'm sure she at least has people in her life who love her, which is more than can be said for a lot of people out here so that's... something I guess. Ignorance gets a bad wrap in our society, but without it we wouldn't have gotten a tirade as beautiful as that one, and I think we need more public self shaming in this vein in our lives now and then. Let yesterday's tabloid hero be tomorrow's punching bag, don't let her educate herself on the topics she writing about and provide meaningful discourse. Bleurgh- who wants 'meaningful discourse' anyway? And to Camilla, I would advise her not to take the criticism she's invited too personally, as this is just the natural revolution of the wheel of life leaving with its bounties and arriving with its scorn. In the words of a man-but-attorney; "You either die as gutter-press or you live long enough to see yourself become the Internet's latest cringe dispensary" I think that's how the quote goes, I need to watch 'The Dark Knight' again...

Is gaming threatening the concept of intimacy?

Am I doing clickbait right?

Before I settle into a regular series of blogs, which I have been planning for a while now, I wanted to cover this funny little story that I saw pop up on my Twitter feed. This is by no means a new article, having been published back in April, but I guess the Twitter community have a thing for summoning necro-threads because I saw a pundit mention this post just a couple of days back. So, seeing as how this tangentially links to the world of gaming, I wanted to address the allegation that The Daily Star's Sophie Roberts made claiming that; Young men would rather play games than... uh... copulate.

First of all, let me say that I approach this issue from a place of no personal experience. I am a socially awkward shut-in who can't even maintain long-distance acquaintances, let alone dedicated relationships, so I cannot comment on the romantic aspect. However, as a life long gamer, I can certainly see the appeal that playing games has over social interaction. (Perhaps I'm a tiny bit incredibly biased in that regard.)  In today's gaming landscape, a lot of AAA games are specifically designed to be an all-encompassing experience that suck up all of your personal time and almost become a second job. That is part of the reason why the Industry cannot sustain itself on the 'Live service' model. If every game is designed to take your time and money perpetually, than eventually you will run out of people to spread between these games. So I can understand why people would want to forgo carnal pleasure in order to seek fulfillment in running the Vault of Glass once again. (Oh Jeez, did that reference date me?), Okay, how about running 'City Of Ash II'? (Oh god, that just made things worse!)

The article, which covers a accusation made by Fox News, (Alarm bells ringing.) claims that a "large proportion" of "20 something men" underwent a "General Social Survey"in which it was discovered that "23% of over 18's said that they lacked intimacy in their lives." Okay so, ignoring the fact that all the sources and information for that survey seemed sketchy and vague, it immediately strikes me as odd that the Daily Star ('Paragons of Journalistic intergrity' that they are) seem unable to provide any links pointing to the survey itself. I'm not usually the type to question the validity of a silly Internet article, but what can I say, I'm bored.

They then went onto to address how The Washington Post looked at sex survey data from the last decade. ('Sex Survey'? This is the same newspaper that champions the quote "Democracy dies in darkness", right? Nice to see this is how they've chosen to fight the good fight.) They found that three times as many males under 30 had "reported no sex over the course of 12 months." (Curious that they were keeping track. Or maybe I'm the weird one.) Also, "28% of young men have abstained for a year." whilst for women that figure is more around the 18% mark.

So what does all this data mean and what is it's connection to gaming? (This time I'm the one asking the questions.) Well, Roberts then goes on to bring one Professor Jean Twinge into the equation. (Who, according to google, is a real person.) Twinge, a Professor of psychology at San Diego SU, lays the blame at the fact that many millennials don't have a "live-in partner." (With that information, one might go so far as to blame this situation on the rocketing price of housing, but Sophie choose a different angle.)

Professor Twinge also implied that the rise of technology might have something to do with the shifting culture, explaining that there are "More things to do at 10 o'clock at night than there were twenty years ago." (Sounds like Netflix binging has taken the place of most other nocturnal activities.) She then went on to make a throwaway comment about how young people are more interested in "Streaming video, social media and console games." There it is ladies and gentlemen! The smoking gun! Slap 'Video games' at the top for the 'headline readers' and call it a day!

It is hard to call such an anomaly like this an epidemic, especially as there is no available information that details the parameters of this survey (or even a freakin sample size), but it is still an interesting reflection of the changing priorities of society. It seems that the further we get we away from the World War II generation, those who lived in times of fear and uncertainty and came to value the most imperative aspects of life, the further we lose sight of that our value for life and the more we seek out tendencies that one might call hedonistic. Perhaps the undeniable rise of video gaming (officially the most profitable from of entertainment as of 2018) is symbolic of how deep our society has sunk into escapism and indulgence. We would rather spend our time in fictional worlds over which we hold dominion, than face us to the world we currently live in.

Although perhaps that is a natural evolution for the wider state of consciousness in response to a world gone (My old Business teacher taught me to hate this word) glocal. With instant access to communication and news all over the world, it can sometime feel like every citizen is duty bound to walk about with the weight of the world on their minds, or else be branded ignorant. Don't get me wrong, I feel that it is important to hold some understanding and/or knowledge over events that occur across the world, but I don't begrudge anyone who finds that responsibility overwhelming. Why trouble oneself with the struggles of a world that you cannot change when you can retreat into fiction instead? Books, Show, movies and games do all reflect the issues of real life to some degree, (I firmly believe that it is impossible for any fiction to be devoid of social/political influence.) but oftentimes it is diluted to the point where one can just enjoy the ride without worrying about the end.

I do enjoy the conversation this Daily Star article has inspired, even though I did not like the article itself. It's not that the topic itself incensed me at all, I found it rather funny and it does seem to meld with similar reports that arose, regarding young Japanese men and video games, a couple years back. My problem is with how lazy, hodgepodge, and sourceless the whole article is. I mean, sure, it's not like I put down my sources, but I'm an idiot on the Internet who pens these blogs to avoid facing the harsh crippling aimlessness of his own
lonely existence, not a paid author for a (semi) well-known online newspaper. (They're in print too! Who knew?) In fact, this article is so dubious, I wouldn't be surprised if it was written on April 1st. Like it was. Now, I'm not going to declare the whole thing is a joke, (Despite being updated on April 2nd, there seems to be no information clearly indicating to one conclusion or the other.) I'm just hoping, for the sake of their careers, that this isn't the standard this newspaper holds itself to. However, I will say, if it is a joke, I'm not sure I get the punchline.