Where are the good Games of Thrones?

 

It is genuinely galling how after all these years we've never received an officially licenced game based on what was the biggest fantasy franchise in the world some time ago. Game of Thrones was a monolith amidst giants, surpassing even the respect that Lord of the Ring maintained at it's absolute best- before trailing itself off a cliff and yadda yadda. You'd have thought that at some point over the years some opportunistic studio head would just smell the profitability on the air and go studio hunting, but rather disappointingly all we can do is stitch together existing experiences to try and get the feel that show elicited. At the time I flocked to Skyrim to get the look of the grand fantastical North we saw often during the early seasons, and The Witcher 2 for the feel of the mature, political consequential, plots popping around the landscape. (Of course, this was before 'The Wild Hunt' released and toned down the political ramifications somewhat.)

But, of course I hear you shout, there were officially licenced Game of Thrones games- ya big dunderhead! And whilst yes, in technicality that may be true- I consider such... efforts, about as 'true to heart' as the 'Pooh Blood and Honey' evokes the spirit of The Hundred Acre Woods. How can one consider these official in any meaningful way when both seem cobbled together by absolute disgraces to the entire artistry of games development as it stands? I'd endorse a great game, accept an average game, but a smear on the genre and franchise? Nah, that's got to get tucked under the rug. In fact, despite their timing, I'll call these adaptations of purely late season Game of Thrones and thus lament we never got an adapatation of the franchise at it's height.

2012's Game of Thrones, published by (I actually held my mouth in shock when I saw this-) ATLUS, is an actually god-awful single player RPG set during the events of the first series in an actually original story to the show- which is worth some small credit on it's own. (Someone tried somewhere.) It follows two members of the Night's Watch that no one cares about, (they exist in the show but you don't remember them and neither do I) sort of shambling about an ugly 'Two Worlds' reminiscent attempt at something like a 'Witcher' guided role playing game. There's nothing to boast of in the way of interesting gameplay ideas, I'm told the story is pretty rote but I'm not foolish enough to endure it myself to check and the fact that literally no one remembers it is evidence enough that the game had very little in the way of impact- which to be fair fits the somewhat low-key status of the show during it's first season so I guess they nailed that aspect, for what it's worth.

Then we have the Telltale Game of Thrones game which brough the classic narrative-based storybook style of the Telltale brand to Westeros in what might have been on of their least interesting titles to date. I don't know if the terms of the contract precluded experimentation or if by the point of that game the company was so firmly stuck on it's development cycle death-spiral that ended up killing the company stone dead- but there was such a waste of potential for what this entry could have achieved. The family they threw in to the main story were just discount Starks, most of the episodes were spinning wheels until black and white choices at the cliffhangers and the whole adventure felt ultimately worthless on the other side. I would go so far as to consider this one a 'game', at least; but nothing was brought to the table that wasn't also copied for a dozen other narrative games of the generation. The game disappointed me. 

By actual second pick for a Game of Thrones game that doesn't deserve to be even considered an actual game would have to go to the grand 'Official Browser Based Game': Winter is Coming. To this day I do not believe they actual got the licence for the brand like they claim. They insist too much for that to be valid, like- Marvel games don't flaunt the fact that they're 'officially licenced' in their title and advertising- why should this game? Either because they're not licenced and are trying to make believe for the audience, or they genuinely cannot believe any idiot at HBO gave them the go-ahead to publish this and rake in money for the least possible amount of effort any human being could put behind an 'original game'.

If you didn't know, I actually made a blog covering that train wreck a few years ago- and the scars still haunt the edges of my psyche, pulling me under at my weakest and secreting away wisps of myself that I will never get back. It was a city builder, but somehow even lazier than your typical archetypal city builder that is cobbled together using an online blueprint I once tracked down for a blog on the matter. It featured lore inconsistencies out the ass, such as featuring a Weirwood Tree in the Red Keep and offered a string of utterly coma-induced 'tactical missions' which auto-battelled for you whilst you spent time uninstalling it. The 'game' was a pathetic time-hungry grift of a 'product' that sullied the brand's name to even exist. And it's what most people think of when they hear the words 'Game of Thrones' and 'Video game'. Which is just tragic.

Especially given that Game of Thrones Beyond the Wall came out shortly after the series wrapped and whilst it wasn't exactly what I would call a great game, it certainly packed a lot more quality in it's systems than 'Winter is Coming' could muster. Slapped together by the same team who put together Fallout Shelter, and who later put together a Westworld clone of Fallout Shelter that Bethesda sued, Behaviour Interactive put out a basic hero collector that kills time as good as anything else out there. I mean, does it capture the incredibly rich and engrossing heart of Game of Thrones which made that franchise special? No. But then, as we've established, it seems that absolutely no game does! It could have been a fine enough addendum to the franchise to keep the spirit of the series alive. And I suppose it was all the way up until House of the Dragon swooped onto the scene making such space fillers redundant. It shuttered last year.

Of all the attempts across the years it feels like no one really has given their all behind turning this franchise into a worthwhile interactive endeavour worth sticking your hat on. And I'm not generalising asking for an Open World RPG the style of which we typically ask for out of franchises like these, in fact I seriously question what an Open World RPG could even bring to a franchise like this aside from shirking down the scope of the world in order to 'fit' the constraints of a game world. I don't need another Skyrim with a Game of Thrones reskin. But maybe there's a solid prequel narrative that could be told in a Witcher 2 style focused action adventure, or maybe even a CRPG style RPG! We need something that evokes the elements of the franchise that make Game of Thrones a grounded fantasy story unlike any other.

But I suppose that moment is gone to the wind, isn't it? Despite the success of House of the Dragon, there is nowhere near the same level of goodwill afforded to this franchise to attract the sort of the investor hubbub needed to fund a game of that kind of necessary scale. And in the times when that would have really worked, HBO instead put all their eggs into the show's basket only to watch helplessly as their golden child showrunner punted that basket into a river and shot all of the eggs. In situations like these it falls to the fans to keep the show's spirit alive- and I may just have a contender for a fan project that does just that in an upcoming blog.

Winter came

 Ready for the most bizarre gaming-adjacent story ever?

So a while back you might remember how I covered a little 'game' that held the honour of the only officially-licenced Game of Thrones 'experience'. I'm using heavy quotations because the game in question was just a browser game and not one of the good ones, in fact it was a shame to the source material such a travesty to carry it's name. After months of rumours that Bethesda were going to step up to the plate with the licence, or literally anyone with the talent to really bring the world of Game of Thrones to new heights, all we got was a browser game. (Oh, and that 'Telltale' game which I didn't really like all that much. I guess that counts for something, huh.) At the time I remember delving into the game and coming away thinking this was the absolute limit of laziness and creative stagnancy, surely nothing remotely interesting could happen in relation to this title ever. And then the creator was killed.

Now to be clear, this isn't me being facetious or exaggerating, a man's life was literally ended on Christmas day and that is an inherently tragic fact, but that doesn't change the fact that the circumstances behind it are, according to early reports, absolutely wild. So the founder of the company Yoozoo, one Mr Lin, was actually something of a success story within the Chinese software world. According to BBC, he was responsible for guiding the company into it's mobile gaming routes, which led to a partnership with Supercell on publishing their Brawl Stars. Now to be clear, that is a big deal. Mobile gaming is the primary source of Chinese gaming and Supercell are the kings of mobile games, responsible for creating Clash of Clans, so this man must of been an absolute blessing to his company for securing such a deal. Whatsmore, he then went on to get a deal with HBO to be the only representative of Game of Thrones on the gaming market during it's last two seasons, which may have been a disaster to the show but the exposure still would have done wonders for Yoozoo.

That would be true even if the game didn't really deserve it, and in case you've forgotten the details of the game in question, allow me to curse you with knowledge. Game of Thrones: Winter is Coming The browser-based game essentially put players in the shoes of a unnamed classically handsome nobody in King's Landing who's job it was to stage fights halfway across Westeros for no apparent reason whilst folk who have no place in the front lines of warfare entered the fray; such as the chief spymaster. (I'm sure he's really going to turn tide of the battle.) Quiet simply, it's a low effort city builder with a Game of Thrones skin attached and a business model of selling Jpegs to the audience at a premium. Low effort crap that, in the age of Genshin Impact, is a relic of a Free to Play model long since surpassed. Thus in the modern year it's pretty much dropped off the face of the earth to be forgotten about like it should be. And then Mr Lin got poisoned.

Oh didn't I mention that? In a plot twist that comes right out of the show itself, the multibillion Yuan-worth founder was found to have died in hospital with police labelling it foul play. Suspects have already been taken into custody but right now without any information the questions are flying everywhere and it's probably wisest to just sit back and see what happens. Besides, this isn't a 'True Crime' blog and thus I'm not going to speculate on any wild conspiracies, but just thinking about this whole scene has got me a little existential. I mean, look at any of the headlines and you'll see this man's name plastered up right next to 'creator of Game of Thrones Winter is Coming', and that's pretty much his obituary, what a legacy to leave. 

I guess that's what this blog is coming back to at the end of it all, legacy and how one wants to be remembered. Now personally I don't really have a horse in this race, I don't believe in 'forever' and thus the sooner my memory is gone and faded the better, let people worry about more pressing matters, but my views aren't the same as everybody's. One fellow who I think became quiet obsessed with this was one Peter Molyneux, creator of Fable and Black and White. He's on record as being a little upset when he was offered his lifetime achievement reward and desperately sought out stamping his mark through newer ventures. Of course, these were doomed to failure and he ultimately has gone down in infamy, but his desire for creating the legacy of some sort of software revolutionary is what led him down that path.

And for another example I could perhaps mention one of the creators of the Shenmue franchise, Yu Suzuki, who made himself something of a legacy for realising the simulation potential of video game storytelling. His was one of the first ideas to really take the art of storytelling and do something unique with it that could only be achieved in the world of video games, because anywhere else the charm would be devoid. Whereas Metal Gear and Zelda told great stories beforehand, both borrowed from cinematic storytelling conventions, only Shenmue leaned into ideas like routine, daily life and perseverance through it's unparalleled simulated world space. Of course, that niggling question of finishing the story came up again which resulted in Shenmue 3, a game which it felt like no one wanted to make and only came about for the sake of "finishing the legacy." (Also, I'm told it wasn't that good)

Now, I don't know this Mr Yu personally so for all I know he was proud to make that GoT game, or perhaps not, either way he'll be remembered over here for that 'achievement' and I think that is a little sad. I mean, don't get me wrong, the game is a travesty of creation deserving of nothing more than it's own personal slime-ridden pit in hell, but I don't wish the creators any ill will, they were just securing a paycheck and that they did well enough. (I'm more upset at HBO for licensing the damn thing) Although maybe the question of what we will be remembered for is the sort of question that doesn't even cross the mind of a multibillionaire, afterall what do they have to worry about, they've already won at life.

You might be wondering exactly how this blog got to where it did, and the truth is I don't know. Perhaps my own inadequacies have started to catch with me and I'm just projecting. Writing that Game of Thrones Blog was actually quite a lot of fun back in the day and hearing about the death of someone involved just sort of triggered something for me. I haven't been shaken to the core or anything, just rattled in a subtle fashion. Either way, the last thing anyone wants to carry with them is a boatload of regrets and 'what could have been'. So my advice? Throw all those expectations and pressures to 'change the world with your mere presence' out the window, you'll be happier that way. Unless of course, doing so makes you more likely to make a game as crap as 'GoT: Winter Is Coming', we don't need another one of those, thank you very much.

Game of Thrones: Winter is coming. The officially licensed browser game

There's no cure for being a bad game.

Okay, I can't do this anymore. Well done, HBO's licensing team: you officially broke me. After literally months of pretending not to see that same goddamn ad for 'Game of Thrones: Winter is Coming. The officially Licensed browser game' I cannot take it anymore, the laws of curiosity dictate that I must ask "What is the Sam Hill is this fresh hellspawn upon our world?" I feel like a failure admitting that. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't manage to shake the clawing paw of morbid fascination creeping up on me in my darkest thoughts. Even when every sane cell in my body was screaming blue bloody murder "This is bait, don't give them attention!" I couldn't resist the temptation to grant them exactly that. Then again, no one actually reads this Blog so I can spare a page or 2 feeding into my lust to natter on about the bizarre.

For those unaware, I was a big fan of Game of Thrones for a good many number of years. I know it sounds like one of those 'hipster brags' but I honestly jumped aboard this show long before it's meteoric rise to stardom. Originally we just saw 'Sean Bean' and thought "Huh, he's a great actor, wonder what his show's like?" What was born from an idle thought ballooned into a red hot obsession that wouldn't just consume me and my entire family, but soon the entire TV watching world. I hardly need to tell you, dear reader, how Thrones-Mania forced it's way into the public consciousness more voraciously than with any other show before. Whatsmore, this new show bought along with it a renewed fascination in a genre that I love but which has gone criminally under appreciated in the public consciousness: Fantasy. Everything was good and dandy for the longest time as the world was tricked into watching the greatest nerdy-fantasy show in the world whilst enjoying all the 'drama' and 'suspense' that Benioff and Weiss's adaptation had drummed up.

Of course, things wouldn't stay great forever, because we're all living in the worst time line, and the show began to waver in quality for the later years until a final season that is sure to go down as one of the worst/most insulting finale's in television history. At this moment the bubble burst and cynicism returned to the world like a falling comet come to cleanse the world of it's optimism. Like waking from a great dream, everyone saw the world once more for the disappointment it was and no one dared to hope ever again: the end. It was around about this time that adverts started popping up all over the web for the 'Game of Thrones browser game' but I didn't take it seriously at the time. Sure, HBO completely dropped the ball by allowing Benioff and Weiss run rampant with poorly written scripts, but there's no way they would officially licence something so crappy looking; would they? No, this must be one of those stupid 'fake jobs' that you see all over the Internet. These sorts of ads made their way onto Youtube somehow, but surely it would only a matter of time before the sane world caught up to them and this obvious mistake was sued out of existence, right?

But here we are in the new year and still we're still subject to the same Youtube ads with the same poor quality, and so one must come to terms with a frighting reality; yes, this is an officially licensed Game of Thrones game and yes, the HBO licencing team truly cared this little about keeping their brand respectable. (I guess there's no point in caring anymore after the showrunners burnt the fanbase to the ground, huh?) What makes this doubly heartbreaking is that news actually leaked early of a licencing job being done for Game of Thrones, only back then the rumour was that Bethesda were set to be the lucky recipients of this contract. This excited folk to no end. Bethesda, kings of the fantasy RPG, working on a GOT game? Who could ask for a better choice? Unfortunately, that year would go on without any official word and would end with the disastrous launch of Fallout 76. (Now no-one even wants Bethesda to touch their own franchises, let alone any others.)

With all this in mind I decided to subject myself to the 'Game of Thrones: Winter is coming' not too long ago and you know what; it's not nearly as bad as the trailers make it look; it is so much more infinitely worse. First off, I couldn't for the life of me find an officially hosting website so I had to get there off of GTarcade's site (Which I'm not proud about using givien the other games they are known for hosting.) The first thing to notice off the bat is that this game runs poorly off the browser, now I'm told that performance can be approved by downloading the game, but I was running X-Com 2 on max settings last night so I plain refuse to accept this as my own responsibility. (Plus I don't want these guy's software on my computer, yuck!)

The second thing to note is that almost every single character in this game is a poorly drawn, even more poorly animated, sprite that is based on the likeness of the characters from the show. You start off by being shown Melisandre pulsating in front of your face with just enough effort put in for you to recognise who she is but not enough so that you're even slightly impressed. Immediately, the first words you hear will piss you off if you even care a little bit about the GOT lore. (Which, apparently, I still inexplicably do.) "My Lord" she says for some reason, "The army of the dead are approaching, we need to stop them at Winterfell". Okay then; so why the hell am I in charge of King's Landing then? That's on the other bloody side of Westeros, it'll take months to mount any sort of defence for the North from here, the absolute southern-most part on the entire damn continent! So right away you should be pretty aware how few craps were given to the conception of this title.

You might find yourself wondering something very essential, especially after all the vague and contradictory adverts that only look marginally better than Mafia City's marketing; what the heck is the game even about? Well the answer to that is relatively simple; have you ever played one of those 'city building' games on the Mobile before? This is essentially just that with a Game of Thrones skin. Yep, that means the entire gameplay loop revolves around building and upgrading structures, training troops and basically doing all the clerical work that no one else wants to do. Then you are treated to a long-ass timer that counts down in real time and cannot be circumvented unless you're willing to fork out on the in-game currency 'Diamonds' which are limited and can only be supplemented by buying the premium currency 'Black Diamonds' in turn. (I think I'm starting to understand why HBO were on board with this licensing job...)

As I'm certain you've cottoned onto by know; this is a game that exists purely to sell crappy microtransaction gimmicks to you at every single possible opportunity. That is the only aspect of this game to which any real effort has been put behind with everything else, even basic stuff, falling to the wayside. The 'buy stuff' menu is forever shoved in your unsuspecting face whilst you try to do literally anything else, every single item is discounted with 'limited time' offers and each time you close a shop window there's another window hiding behind it. (It's like being in adware hell.) Compare that with the on-the-ground 'tactical' combat which is supposed to be the inciting gameplay that moves forward the story, and you are met with battles that are entirely auto fought. And I mean entirely, not only are you not given any choice in tactical composition, layout, or even bog-standard turn-based stuff; there's not even any animations for the battling, you just take your army over to the battle site (which can take anywhere from 10-30 minutes to do) and click on the fight; the bigger army wins.

Now, there is a more hands-on tactical battling system, but that is entirely separate from the main campaign (What little there is) and can only be accessed by clicking the Weirwood tree in the Red Keep. (Why that's the case I'll never know.) These matches are just 'sceanrio' affairs with no story connecting them but they at least boast a 3D battle happening in the background. (Likely solely to circumvent false advertising laws) Although the prospect of interactivity is almost entirely illusionary as all of these matches are so simple that most can be won without interacting at all. In fact, I'm fairly certain that interacting (which in this mode merely means telling your armies when to do a special move) does absolutely nothing for the outcome of these battles and they are just a complete waste of time.

At this point I think that you get the point, however I'm treating this as a review so I might as well be clear about this. Verdict: 'Game of Thrones: Winter is coming. The officially licensed browser Game' is a total piece of crap with the bare minimum amount of effort put into every part of it's production. It is lazily exploitative, poorly constructed and often grammatically incorrect in it's menus. (What are "Citys"?) If morbid curiosity has you wondering about this title, let me save you an aneurysm by telling you that this is not worth your freetime. You'd make better use of your time by watching reruns of 'The Bachelorette', and would probably enjoy yourself a lot more doing so. I would say that Youzu interactive should be ashamed in themselves for slapping this crap together and calling it a game, but these are the guys that bought 'League of Angels' into the world, so I doubt they possess the self awareness for any emotion even remotely as advanced as 'Shame'. Now I've only played 1.5 hours of this game, so there's sure to be more that I cannot stomach playing to, although I will revisit this topic if ever I grow the constitution to or if I'm asked to. (Luckily no one actually reads these so I think I'm safe for that latter one.) Until then, just take my advice and ignore this game like the plague, your sanity will thank you.