Apple Vs Epic Vs 13 yr olds

Do us a favour and wipe out tomato town

Once you've finished listening to your fourteenth rendition of 'Chug Jug' you might send one up in prayer for the myriad of folk over in the fanbase for Fortnite, because a good many of them don't know what's going to happen to their favourite game. I mean, nothing's going to happen to it, so to speak; it's still the biggest game in the world and thus is hardly at the mercy of a slap fight like this, but certainly some of it's accessibility hangs in the balance. In fact, it doesn't really hang; it's been severed, and we're just waiting to hear whether or not it'll ever get patched up. This has really started to enter that fever pitch now that the actual trial has begun and we'll get to hear the possibly historic ruling on what Apple is allowed to do with their domination over their end of the mobile marketplace. Or, indeed, if that is even a domination at all. Legally speaking.

Of course, if everything I'm saying is fanciful nonsense to you, then here's a quick recap; Epic games have started a fight with Apple over the fact that Apple funnels developers into selling their apps soely through the Apple store and thus forces them to capitulate to, by Epic's definition, exploitative stipulations. A big cut of proceeds fly out of the pocket of developers and independent shops are strictly against TOS, every inapp purchase must go through Apple. Now for mobile developers this isn't too far from the ordinary, but console developers at least can start up a fuss about that cut, it's pretty bad compared to what's happening over on the rest of the industry. If Epic can prove what Apple is running is a monopoly, they could be looking at forcing the hand of Apple to change rules and improve the lives of App developers the world over, so Epic really is fighting on behalf of the little man here. (Even if it's not exactly for them) 

Unfortunately, with the state of the world right now, we won't be seeing these stuffy money vampires dragged out of their hovels and into suits for an in-person trial, which is a shame because I personally dislike both sides of this little debate and would love to see them sweat it out a bit.  (It's always funny watching these automatons try so hard to convince us they're still human and thus worthy of some sort of sympathy) In fact we're not even getting video interviews so can put a face to the vultures. Instead it's all just a telephoned-in conference with static voices in a dark abyss. How draconian. What is this: the nineteenfifties? I was specifically told that Video has committed some form of homicide against Radio; surely audio entertainment should be a dead art. Yet hear we are listening to poorly captured audio excerpts from journalists who called in keep track of deliberations, and to everyone involved's credit; it really was very entertaining.

For you see, instead of being treated to the mechanical fumbles of the court as they desperately tried to figure out how to get a three-way conference working, (software which has been in general circulation for over a decade now, but still people find ways to fudge it) we got the somewhat greater gift of courts who don't know how to run a listen-in call line. (In their defence, neither do I.) One reporter recalled being asked, through an automated system, upon calling in whether or not they wanted to join as a listener or an host. Just straight up, like that. And though they claimed to have chosen the righteous path from this choose-your-own-adventure minigame, it would appear there were a great many others far too tempted with the allure of unadulterated trolling. That's how a boring preliminary trail got interesting.

Steps like these are the basic of the basic, the formalities that make official what has already been discussed and disseminated at length through and from documents. Although they don't remain quite so standard and formal when you have voices from the random public chiming in to say things like, and I quote, "I would suck all of you to get back Fortnite mobile back". (Thank you, PCGamer, for making my day with that little gem) But that interruption wasn't an exception. People chimed in to scream things like "Bring back Fortnite on mobile please, Judge", "Free Fortnite" and, a wild card in the bunch, "Don't bring back Fortnite." Others just played Travis Scott songs, and one uninvited guest, during a moment of silence when the main lines went down and this lone fellow was suddenly struck with an almost divine moment of clarity, commented "I'm going to hell for this". Maybe; but you can tell Beelzebub how it was all worth it for this fleeting satisfaction!

Try as they might though, the hoards of thirteen year olds couldn't prematurely end this trial with an early win for Epic, and instead the court settled on the battlegrounds for what will shape up as a war of definitions. This here is going to be the Courts deciding if what Apple exerts over developers is monopolistic (and thus anti-competitive) or if they're operating well within their rights as the owner and creator of the infrastructure. (In order to remain consistent, Epic have filed a similar case against Google which will probably also get decided by this definition battle.) By Apple's reasoning what they do on this platform is no different from what Console developers do, and if Epic don't like it they are well within their capabilities to sell their game on another platform, thus proving Apple doesn't hold a monopoly. For the courts the key comes in deciding if they consider all platforms part of a single market, or if the definition of a market is narrower than that, thus trapping Apple. Quiet the genuine conundrum that I'm actually fascinated to follow, where would I fall on this from a purely legal approach? I truly do wonder.

Apple have something of an easier job in all this, they just have to make Epic look like incompetent bullies trying to strongarm their way into getting what they want. Which is... actually somewhat on the money. But that's still kind of the pot calling the kettle black, now ain't it? Epic may have founded it's store on trying to buy their way into gamer's hearts, but Apple have aggressively stamped out competition for years and remain one of the few still in the mobile business because of it. And yet, Apple wanted to use some negotiation between Epic and Sony over cross compatibility in Fortnite as their 'prime example'. In the correspondence, Sony threw a fit over the concept and wouldn't budge as Epic kept coming back with more and more concessions, showing, in Apple's eyes, how the guys won't take no for an answer and keep pushing until they hear what they want. Again, that's true; but it was Epic trying to push a stubborn mule to break ground which proved beneficial to the entire game's industry, so I really loathe this being weaponised against them. This is one of the few Epic stories I can unreservedly respect. (But how the courts will see it, I don't know)

There's ever this separation between the world of law and the world of... well, everyone else- and it makes legal entanglements like this delectably unpredictable. You never know which way the wind could be turning, and who's going to be stuck with egg on their face on the other end of this; because whilst I'm morally on the side of Epic here, they were the instigators and an offensive stance is inherently harder to win an argument on. At the end of the day, however, (and I know I come back to this often) this is two tech titans arguing over who can make the better pittance and neither really deserves their windfall; so though I await each development with a curious ear, I do so rooting for the indie devs out there. Let them get their cut for their hardwork, dammit, Apple you vampires!

Epic V Apple: Dawn of Pettiness

Do Apples bleed?

Yes, that's right there's been one more major development in the real life Anime duel between the Grey fruit and the gaming's premium mircotransaction dairy cow. And this does have the potential to be the last major update for a long while due to the disappearance of this case to the Phantom Zone, otherwise known as courts, meaning this duel will go the way of every Dragon Ball Z fight and get itself ballooned to the length of months when it all could have been solved in the twenty minute mark. (Damn you, Filler gods!) So whilst Apples prepares it's darkest arts and squares itself with the sacrifices it will take, Epic prepares it's spirit-bomb and must call upon the aid of his allies for their contribution, and I cannot miss this opportunity to look them over one last time and see what becomes of the world's most dangerous game: Corporate scuffles.

So maybe you've been keeping abreast of everything or maybe you haven't, either way; here's your regularly scheduled recap. Last time on 'Epic X Apple': Elders of the Epic clan decide that they've had enough of spending the 30% commission that one is required to commit in order to display goods on Apple-san's markets, prompting a brazen move on Epic's part to publicly declare a complete circumvention of Apple's Market place, specifically for their most promising product; Fortnite. Unfortunately, this breaks the ancient pact signed long ago between the two clans, providing the impetus for war between the old frenemies. Does the Epic-clan stand a chance against the might of the Apple empire? Will their court injunction be enough to stop the Apple clan for going straight for the kneecaps? And will any of the other clans have the bravery to step up and stand with Epic? Find out on this week's episode of 'Epic X Apple'! 

So the cliffhanger from last time was really where it was the most heated in this fight. Apple had decided to kneejerk against Epic in the most hardcore way and threatened to remove Epic's developer account in the Apple ecosystem, a move which would cut off all of Epic's software from the store, including 'Unreal Engine'. (The most popular game engine in the world next to Apple's own Unity.) This would essentially make any game developers on the Apple store incapable of updating their apps and utterly freeze their development efforts. Now on one hand this would really be a shot-in-the-foot to Apple because they'd be screwing over a lot of their own developers who had nothing to do with this back and forth, but they were betting it would hurt Epic a lot more due to the loss of trust they'd undergo as being the 'instigator' of this fight. Naturally, this dirty tactic was frowned upon by the parties involved and Epic sought out a court injunction to prevent Apple from making this bold move. Well the results are in and the court says; Apple is not allowed to bring this private scrap between the two companies into the ecosystem of the entire Apple market just for a power move. This started as a petty bar-room brawl, that's how it should end.

So quite a blow to the Apple camp right away; who knows how they will ever recover from this? But the hits to the gut just keep coming, it would seem, as no sooner had that news started doing the rounds that a new contender entered the ring to confirm their support for the underdog in this fight; Epic. Microsoft, famed Apple competitors, roused their sleeping selves recently when they heard about the drastic measures Apple threatened to take and came out in condemnation of Apple's practises. They argued, as the Courts ultimately ended up ruling, that Apple were overreaching in attempting to kill off Unreal just to strong-arm Epic, and cited their own racing game 'Forza' for mobile, as potential collateral in all of this. So on one hand they've said nothing that everybody doesn't already know, (they didn't even touch on the 30% commission issue as Mircosoft charge something similar.) but on the otherhand it makes for attention grabbing headlines and certainly does paint Apple as the greedy dictatorial overlords that Epic needs them to appear to be in order to win this battle of cultures.

As a consequence of all this, the heads over in the Apple camp have had a distinct change of pace when it comes to how they wanted to handle this, and it's pretty much an inalienable invitation to legal war. You see, when Epic first received a limp glove-slap across the face, with the removal of Epic from the Apple store, it was done with the stipulation that as soon as Epic swallowed their damn pride and came crawling back to Apple's standards, everything could go on as normal. Of course, with how transparently orchestrated this whole affair was it's obvious that Epic wasn't going to go for such an easy L. 'They're not that weak-willed'. This tactic of "We'll slap you around, but you can come back home at any time" continued for a long while, up until Saturday where Apple, the mile long ship, cottoned into the obvious fact that Epic were in this for the long haul. (Duh!) That day, Apple terminated Epic's app store account, making it so that Epic can publish and support no more games on the Apple infrastructure. Chilling indeed.

What started off as a very robotic exchange of documents has evolved into what feels like a very emotional charged and personal anime, and I for one have no idea where it plans to go from here. On one hand you'd think that there isn't any chips left to lay on either side but on the otherhand there is a huge number of other developers on the Apple platform that stand to gain if this 30% commission is successfully clapped back against, or if Apple are forced to concede a second marketplace on the Apple infrastructure. (Which I feel is Epic's ultimate plan.) The only question is how many of those devs are willing to risk biting the hand that feeds them in order to fight for their own well being; as this is certainly a high-risk, high-reward proposition. It's in everyone's interests to be on the right side of history here.

It is quite amusing, sitting as a fellow with no stakes one way or the other, to watch Epic prostate themselves as the Jesus of small-time developers when they are themselves a violently rich corporation. Apple took the time to point that out themselves, their store had helped greatly shore up Epics funds but now they've suddenly decided they are too good for Apple and thus need to go their own way. It's hypocrisy that a lot of people fall far, though one might argue that it might be good in the long run if Epic can force their way onto Apple devices and start offering their patented 15% commission. But then, why in the world would Apple ever wantonly agree to be undercut by a competitor on their own devices? Does any court actually have the power to force Apple to self-sabotage like that? And if Epic win this fight, who will they go up against next? How long before they turn on Microsoft and Sony to start forcing their way onto console stores? Epic is essentially kid Goku right now, ever ready to fight bigger folk around them and push further than one would think possible, but make no mistake they will turn into the mega-corporations they apparently 'oppose' if they get their way. It's the circle of corporate life.

The breaking up of major tech companies is something that needs to be done and sooner rather than later, but this should be in the effort to cut down on monopolies rather than to make way for a new, potentially bigger, one to take it's place. Now I'm not claiming that Epic has some sort of deep-seeded design on total global market domination or anything (at least, not to any degree of commitment which could make me legally liable) but I worry for the precedent they work to set in the very near future. I'm no economist, I can't speak for the wide-spread commercial ramifications or benefits for the world that Epic is attempting to pave they way for, I just know that from a consumer level this spells a level of impending inconvenience that I'm becoming increasingly uncomfortable with as the age of data-supremacy descends across the globe. Am I sounding like a paranoid old lady over the fact that Epic want to get their software on my phone, computer, console, fitbit and pace-maker? Maybe. But I'd rather be a pearl-clutcher than a blind fool who reacts several years too late.

Fortnite V Apple: Grudge map of the decade

This fight just got personal.

I was wilting over here, you know. Melting into a cesspit of my own mediocrity and boredom. No, not just because of this pandemic and the chaos it's wrought on our daily lives, truth be told I've been healthier these months indoors over my times outside them, no my malady was much deeper seeded than that. There's just been nothing going on. Or to be more precise, nothing surprising going on. Even when the Covid cases started hitting I felt more "Yeah, that sounds about right given everything else that's happened this year." And whilst the world of gaming has kept itself moving through all this, it's almost as though the rest of the world has frozen still. That curse was somewhat broken just this past week when Epic threw it's gauntlet at fellow dirt-bag company Apple in some heroic battle against commission prices. Talk about giving me what I didn't know I needed!

Now I have a reason to pay attention to the news once again, and care about the happenings of real life outside of my digital escapism. Two greedy gluttons are slugging it out in the parking lot and I'm hear for every second of it, there is quite literally nothing else in the world right now that I'm more invested in. Do I honestly care about the extortionate way that Apple go about wringing it's app developers of commissions? Not really. I don't even own any Apple products, never have. Am I really rooting for plucky Epic Games to break the glass ceiling and change the phone app market forever, no and I never did support Epic. But if these idiots are willing to rip chunks out of each other I will holler like a howler monkey in excitement. And if you think that little metaphor there is a little heavy handed or melodramatic, just wait until you hear the latest developments/ new ultimatums, which Apple has levied at Tim Sweeney's door.

You see, Epic have very much positioned themselves in the role of the selfless freedom fighters, campaigning for the rights of everyone who uses the Appstore, but in reality they're just petulant whiners who purposefully broke the rules so they'd have an excuse to leverage the legal system against Apple. Does the ends justify the means, that's a question for your own time, but don't you fall for Epic's 'wounded hero' act, this was a movement born from that most selfish of emotions; greed. And if you don't yet believe that, then try this on for size. Apple were already aware of Epic's desire to break free from their commission model prior to the brazen circumvention tactics they implemented, starting this whole mess. How did they know this, you ask? Is Tim Cook prescient? Perhaps, but the heart of this matter is far more mundane. You see, in the filing against this lawsuit Apple has let a great many related documents fall into public domain, including recordings of correspondence between Apple and Epic where the game developer begged for exemption from the commission. Not abolition; exemption.

Now, of course, this probably wasn't an offer made with any serious intent in mind; this was likely just an establishment of a recordable dialogue so that it can paraded in front of the court and Epic can weave a sob story about how 'unreasonable' and 'closed to ideas' Apple is. They even went so far as to wind Tim Sweeney, Epic's CEO, into the correspondence to make it look like they really gave it all. Maybe there was a hail mary chance in hell that Apple would respond 'Wow, no one's ever asked for exemption before. Just for that, no more commission on Fortnite; and I crown you, king of Apple!' It was only after being tuned down that the narrative changed to bringing down the commission for everyone, but isn't it telling that Epic started this whole affair with themselves in the forefront of their concerns. They could have just, I dunno, go around the big App developers for the Apple store and got a petition written up to set this off, but they wanted the more personal touch, I suppose. How suitably 'Epic' of you, Tim.

But Apple went one step further than just tattling on Epic, oh for you see they've got a murder technique of their own. Ol' Tim Cook's been winding up his Divine Sandstorm for a while now and he's ready to let it loose on Sweeney at practically any moment. They were very blunt at first; Epic broke the rules and now they are in the time-out corner. This can all be over and normal relations can start the second that Epic bites the bullet and retracts their position like a coward. (And kiss the ring, obviously.) But then they slipped into threats, as Apple causally let it slip that if all this nonsense isn't dropped promptly (too prompt, in fact, for this matter to ever see the light of a courtroom) then Apple will suspend Epic's working relationship. Fair enough. Except, apparently that would ban all software that makes use of Epic's property from appearing on the Apple App store. Okay then, so how bad can that be? Well, ladies and gentleman, I hate reminding even myself of it, but Epic are the folk who created and license the Unreal engine. Oh man.

If you somehow didn't know, the Unreal Engine is perhaps one of the most used engines in all of the gaming industry, second only, perhaps, to Unity. (Which Apple has a very good working relationship with.) So yeah, banning Unreal is like taking a nuke to deal with a mole-hill, Apple want to make it very clear in this game of chicken that they have the biggest wheels. A straight-up ban on unreal would hurt countless App developers revenue and they would have no one to blame but the greedy company who kicked the hornet's nest to begin with, shattering Epic's working relationship. Honestly, this is an incredibly dirty move on Apple's part, and Epic's rightly trying to get the courts to forbid this before the deadline. (And I have to say, this really doesn't help Apple with the whole 'tyrannical dictator' angle which Epic is trying paint right now.) I just wanted a fair ballgame, and this underhanded little legswipe has even me calling for the Ref. See what you've done, Apple, you've got me siding with Epi- Urg, I just threw up over my keyboard in attempting to type that unholy sentence. For shame, Tim. For shame. (That's aimed at the Cook, not the Sween)

If Epic aren't able to get in the way of this death move headed their way then they'll have no choice but to step down and reveal just how self serving this whole 'Crusade against the app-store' ultimately was. Although, one has to really wonder about this 'mutually assured destruction' stance that Apple seems to be taking. Are they really under no threat at all of hurting their own consumer base by wantonly killing half their apps? I know who has more to loose in this stand off, and I'm sure Epic are in no delusions to that either, but are Apple really willing to saw off a forearm just to prove a point? I wonder. I really do wonder about the company that was too scared to air a biopic on Dr Dre's life that they themselves commissioned. (Okay, maybe that was more stupidity on the part of their smooth-brained CEO, but I think you get my point.)

To think that this is the sort of fallout raining down in the preliminaries, before anyone has even seen a courtroom, is wild to think about, and I just can't wait to see where this Anime fight leads us next. Will there be gladiatorial chariots? Is Apple going to enter the Avatar state? How far does Tim Sweeney need to be pushed before he "Reject(s) my Humanity!" and throws on the stone mask? And who's theme is going to start playing at the eleventh hour when all the chips are down? As you can likely pick up, I am freakin' enthralled by all these goings ons, and I loathe the lethargy of the court system which'll likely mean it'll take months for juicy court details to hit my hungry lips. (It's infuriating.) But when that day does come, when il Vento D'oro starts jamming out and we all become acutely aware that proceedings have started, you can bet I'll be there with my popcorn and coke, ready to eat it up!

Fortnite: Vs the world

Let's get read to rumble

Something's happening here, and what it is, ain't quite clear. The gauntlet has been officially thrown and now the world's most recognisable game of all time; Epic Games' Fortnite, and two of the biggest tech companies in the world; Apple and Google, are going to war. I mean- doesn't that just sound like the most epic anime showdown of all time? It's like Goku vs Broly, Jotaro vs Dio, Aang vs Ozai, Spongebob vs Squidward; all those times 1.3 trillion. (Apple's estimated value at the time of this writing, for reference.) For a game as big as Fortnite to be cast as the underdog in any situation is eye-turning enough, but for it be in a duel to the death against Apple, I'm sorry but it's popcorn and Marshmallows time. I'm straight itching to watch these titans tear each other apart in the court of law. I'm only sad that it's seemingly impossible for both sides to lose the lawsuit. (Is it? I dunno, LegalEagle hasn't uploaded a video on this yet...)

So you've already heard the news right? Sure you have; but I'm starting from the beginning because I just love to tell a story, even better when it's non-fiction. First off, we have to talk about how App stores work. (I know, exciting stuff) So if you're interested in getting into the ludicrously lucrative world of making a app for mobile devices, you'll have to get used to the fact that it'll be sold on someone else's storefront. Whether you're on IOS or Android, it's a well known truth that you have to play by the rules of Apple or Google respectively in order for your app to sell to the millions of folk around the world with a mobile device. On Android there is the choice to offer your app directly, but it still won't get as much traffic as it would on the Google store installed in most phones, and on IOS you literally cannot use a non-Apple-approved app. (Unless you jury-rig your device, but I don't want to get into that right now.) So basically, the default mobile stores are the toll keepers that every app developer must pay in order to get where they need to, due to the solitary nature of the devices there's no direct competition, and all the bargaining chips are situated solely in the mega tech companies' court. So as you can imagine they exploit the hell out of it and charge a 30% commission on all in-app purchases.

30% is a pretty heft kick to the groin for anyone to get over, and when it's in a nonnegotiable format such as sitting in the hands of a monopolistic entity- well, it's hard not to feel taken advantage of. I mean, that's like if Steam were to start charging 30% commission in order to sell your games on thei- oh wait, they do charge that. (And we wonder why Epic came along...) Obviously, as this is such a bitter pill for the companies to swallow, they practically invariably refuse to eat that cost themselves and instead pass it onto the customers, so that's why things tend to cost a lot more on mobile apps than on the website. (The more you know.) What's more, Apple's terms of service forbid developers from redirecting traffic away from the Apple store in order to circumvent commission, which leads to situations such as with Netflix's mobile app wherein you simply cannot subscribe through the app. They don't tell you why or where you need to go, they just expect you to figure it out. (Luckily Netflix has the brand familiarity to do that, whereas many other brands simply do not.)

It is within this ecosystem and under the purview of these rules that Epic Games chose to function in order to offer the mobile version of their popular Battle Royale; Fortnite. All the game was missing was portability, and with this release came a whole new wave of player engagement and retention for the folks over at Epic to enjoy. Que the claims of Fortnite addiction gripping the youth due to it's accessibility and the, much-more-real, issue of kids playing Fortnite in class with their phones. (I wasn't even allowed my phone in class, what's up with that?) So it was a successful move into a new market, good for them, let's fast forward to today. Not too long ago Fortnite decided to surprise the world with a shocking announcement; the in-game premium currency, V-bucks, would be granted a permanent 20% reduction in price. (Which, seeing as how this is in-game currency who's value is determined solely by Epic games, is pretty much meaningless when you think about it.) So far so nothing, but there was a little change up to the way that the mobile app demonstrated this deal. You see, whereas everywhere else folk would be treated to the discounted price, on mobile they would be greeted with two prices, the original one and the new one, with the more expensive option labelled 'Apple App store'. It was basically Epic showing people an obvious choice and saying "Which would you pick?"

That's ballsy one might say, very alpha; but also completely and undeniably against the rules that everyone else abides by. Thus it was pretty much inevitable that this little stunt would end up with Fortnite getting justly booted from the app store post haste, probably whilst Apple were scratching their heads and going "What did they think would happen?" But 'Oh! You fell into my trap card, Kaiba!', Epic muttered as within moments of getting pulled from the app store they were granted the legal precedent to clap back. Hardly a few minutes after the fact there was a video uploaded to Youtube retelling the classic 1984 parody advert that Apple made in their genesis, only this time with Apple as the grey tyrannical entity and the colourful cast of Fortnite as the liberators. (Very crass and on-the-nose there Epic. Do not approve.) As well as, in a move with a little more weight, a lawsuit filed against Apple by Epic for unfair practises. (Big moves!)

So obviously this whole affair was orchestrated to the nines, with Epic being their same slimy, sneaky selves in order to lure Apple into granting them the basis for a lawsuit. (As their claims wouldn't be nearly as strong without having been personally affected by Apple's policies) But if we ignore the grossly deliberate way that Epic planned all this out, there's an interesting conflict here which has the potential to touch a lot of people. They allege that Apple's iron fist on who gets on their phones is in direct contrast to healthy competition and thus grounds to be forcibly penalised within a court of law. Whatsmore, in offering themselves up as lambs to the slaughter here, Epic have managed to rally App developers behind a shared interest (getting this extortionate commission rate lowered) as well as Apple's customer base. (As There's sure to be plenty of kids absolutely distraught about not being able to play Fortnite for the forseeable future.)

The lawsuit, which was penned suspiciously legible to non-lawyers, feels catered to be as much an impassioned speech as the end of a crappy melodrama as a declaration for legal war. They even make a point to call out Apple's apparent hypocrisy as being a company that said it stood against the stifling of innovation only to become that behemoth all these years later. (Hence the eye-roll inducing Youtube video.) I feel as though the scope of their transgression did get a little bit out of their control, however, as Google also booted them off the playstore, leading to a much less flowery and little more delayed lawsuit thrown Google's way too. So does Fortnite stand a chance? Maybe. Afterall, we are in a political environment of folk who all seem to talk about breaking up the big tech companies, could this be a prime excuse to take a swing at that? We'll have to keep an eye out to see if any independent parties start weighing in on this matter, as I think this has the potential (and I'm sure this is what Epic is going for) to become much bigger than a simple commission dispute. This could be the start of the major curbing of Apple's growth.

So this very much is a David vs Goliath level showdown here today. A real Zuko vs Azula, Joseph vs The Pillarmen, Yugi vs Kaiba, Finn vs The Lich King, situation. (Did Finn ever actually go up against the Lich king? I can't remember.) Now don't get me wrong, there are no heroes in this tale to rally behind. Epic definitely broke the rules in order to fuel this lawsuit, and they're 40% owned by Tencent, so one could construe this as an attack on American business' through a Chinese proxy. But I'm sure Epic would deny that and spout some nonsense about them 'fighting for equality and freedoms' whilst simultaneously smothering the PC marketplace with exclusivity culture, so I'll not accuse anything formal. (You're a real class act, Epic.) At the end of the day, however, when you strip everything away this is just one mega rich corporation taking a swing at another, and in that light I think it's hardly controversial to say 'screw the lot of them and I hope this somehow ends off turning sour for all parties'. But if that, admittedly unlikely, scenario never happens, then I'm fine to just sit back and watch the fireworks like the stereotypical car-crash-watcher that I am.