Artificial intelligence is not what expected to become the great equaliser for creatives across the world. I did not forsee generative models taking the jobs of artists because numbskulls think it'll save them a quick buck, but I guess when you blow 100+ million on the money laundering scheme known as 'Secret Invasion', you have to make those funds up somehow. And these tools start developing, in the manner that they do, upwards ticks the demand to have them dripped into every single factor of life with horrific gusto. It's becoming expected for you to have 'ChatGPT competency' listed in your CV- I am no joking, I've been told that by job recruiters! People are treating this tech like the new breakthrough innovation on par with the mobile phone and I can't rightfully sit here and tell you that they're wrong with how many people are upending industries to feed into it.
And sure, I've confessed already that there are some positive implementations of AI throughout the world worth commending. Most all are done in conjunction with human art, however. I've already talked about the stellar Glorb SpongeBob music videos, but there's recently been another really heartwarming story. American country folk singing legend Randy Travis, who has spent the last 10 years incapable of singing due to suffering a massive stroke, is now capable of making his voice heard once again through the creation of a new cover using his voice, AI trainers, a human performance and a the tweaking of a sound engineer who worked alongside him for many years. In doing so the man is taking back a part of himself he thought was lost and giving the world a reminder of his talent. Ain't that sweet?
But that's about my tolerance for sweetness, how about you? Wouldn't you much rather hear about the absolute dumpster fire that is modern AI games that are starting to pepper the Steam dumpster heap. It's not quite at the pandemonic levels of Freddy-like games back when that franchise first hit the scene, but we've seen a fair few number of these detective-like games where the NPCs you interact with are all powered by AI. Meaning you have to extract information from these dead-eyed NPCs using Text-to-Speech voices, in order to deduce the truth of some sort of murder. And it is- rough. First of all, it's a bit insulting that so many people out there thought mystery novels so throw away that you can entrust an AI to their careful laying out. Trust me when I say, it ain't that simple. Secondly- the tech just doesn't work.
Have you ever had a conversation with someone who just doesn't have a clue what they're talking about but are determined to pretend that they do so they lock you in cursive circles of conversation that conveys nothings, goes nowhere and makes you more and more frustrated the longer you gab? That's every single conversation with AI NPCs. For technology that is proposed to create totally distinct and unique interactions beyond the possibilities of static game development, it is astounding how every one of these AI games ship with a cast of the exact same dull, indirect, bumbling idiot of a conversation partner that keeps it's thoughts about together as a loose sheet of A4 in a rainstorm. It is shocking how none of these games even shows an ounce of workable potential. What are these- Crypto games?
And yet if you peak over at the notes of one Electronic Arts, you can see them confidentially call AI games the 'future' with their chests puffed out and their heads firmly stuffed where the sun don't, and simply can't, shine. EA have announced their intentions to rush towards AI implementation in the game development process- because afterall- most of their games are being lambasted for being bad- so why not just thrown in the towel now? Why not just replace all the hearts and souls that are supposed to be emblematic of the company and their dedication to continued development when you can instead put that effort into a chatbot that spits out recycled globs of code that you plaster everywhere- with a tiny team of code patchers on the other end struggling to make sense of the hallucinated garbage the machine threw in there for good measure?
Of course that's not all, EA also posited interest in researching ways to add advertisements into video games, which has always gone over so well in the past- hasn't it? You know, with the mass complaints, the walk backs and the revisions! People just love having their time wasted inside of products that they've already paid for! And it just makes sense that EA would be the ones hinting about their willingness to jump into such a field despite that being absolutely unhinged to even consider, but since when has that ever stopped a company like EA? But as much as I would like to crucify them for what the company are proposing to bring to our precious little hobby- it's better to take all of these as warnings.
EA didn't offer up any of these considerations unsolicited. Each were broached during an investor call wherein EA are tipped to give their thoughts on directions that their investors want examined to try and shore up their returns. Now you must bare in mind that these investors are below the level of a neanderthal. We're talking genuine pits of evolved lifeform, the sagging pustules of the proto-humanoid sludge that modern producers are formed of. As such, they ain't got no clue what makes money. Of course those idiots are going to think that chucking in ads to games will score them a bit of extra dough, or that AI powered development is going to completely automate games so far we'll be seeing a new Battlefield game every two weeks. We're talking about people who stopped mental development after the age of six.
Unfortunately, however, these are the people with the money and they are leaning on games companies to pursue these dead-end trips to nowheres-ville. A big company who knows what it's doing like EA can pay lip service that they're doing it, chuck a faux-research team on the topic for a couple of weeks and call it a day, but what an absolute disaster of a company that can't do anything for itself? What about Ubisoft? Do you think Ubisoft will be able to help from soiling itself during the meeting if their investors told them to stick Banner ads in Assassin's Creed Shadow? And if enough companies start feeling the push, how long before one is dumb enough to go for it, and another follows suit, and then the next cancer on the industry is born? What I'm basically saying is- investors need to be institutionalised.
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