Up in here, up in here!
I've always equated Unity to Ubisoft in my head whenever I considered it as a company, and that's not me pulling some random stupid factoid just to state my opinion on an unrelated developer I hate once again, I legit made this connection. It was probably the similarity in naming structure with the U's, as well as the cliché geometric logo design that both companies now employ in order to make themselves seem sleek and professionally marketable on the Stock Exchange or whatever get's executives rocks off these days. Imagine my surprise when I heard this story, rolled my eyes at yet another doomed choice from the headcases over at Ubisoft management, only to learn that the companies have practically nothing to do with each other and I'd been wrong all these years! Though I guess I can still say that looking like Ubisoft is enough to infect you with their dumb mind virus and it's greed dripping side effects- because this has got to be the single worst move any engine developer could commit to.
First off, what is Unity then? Unity is one of the most widely used publicly available game engines on the market right now, acquirable by anyone in the public to be used to run independent games- or even by established studios because it's that versatile and good. Of course alternatives exist out in the grassy wilds behind Professor Oaks house, the most notable being Unreal Engine which has soaked up a lot of the conversation around new developer game engines recently what with their stunning technological leaps forwards with rendering that makes certain development tasks that would feel impossible utterly simplistic if you know what you're doing. The way an uninformed amateur can look at the two compared would be thus- Unity is the easier engine to learn how to work with, Unreal Engine is the more diverse in the styles of game you can actually make. Of course there's a little more to it then that, such as- if I recall correctly- Unreal Engine isn't really used for Platformer games ever, whereas Unity excels at providing the pin-point movement accuracy required to make them good.
So there's a balance between the two engines, Unity in the world just as there should be, right? Well it was that case for a long time, disturbances here or there nonwithstanding, until the hungry executives over at Unity decided to strike! But oh no- Unity hurt itself in it's confusion! And now all the game development world has rallied in protest of Unity's newest decree which would charge developers everytime someone downloads one of their games. Let me reiterate, the game engine used by penniless amateur's to wet their feet in game development typically to make very specific first projects that are sometimes given out for increadibly cheap or even presented for free as 'performance demos' on Itch.IO- yeah, that's going to add onto the development costs bill now. What a colossal, moronic, policy change!
Questions flew wild- what about if the game is handed out for free? What if it's a development build of a game offered out to the world for playtesting purposes? What if a user downloads the game again in the future, or repeatedly just to screw with the developer? What about pirated copies? Does this mean the engine is going to come pre-installed with DRM in every project now? Name one reason why said developers shouldn't drop Unity with the force of a Dwarf Star in the follow-up to this news? Or what- do they expect every other free-engine provider out there to flip out and get on the petty change collection train in order to 'catch up?' And the most damning question, one that will probably be echoed by the FTC before very long, why is it that a selection of executives just happened to pawn off their stock right before this announcement? Is that the most painfully obvious example of Insider Trader performed since the practise was first conceived of back in 1909, before the Great Depression made it an issue worth outlawing? How screwed is Unity's parent company right now?
Some clarifications have been flying out in the time since the heads at Unity essentially announced their intention to commit 'Business Seppuku'. So it's a fee being placed on full released games that sell over a certain threshold of copies and make a certain amount of money, however it's a pain point placed entirely on the developer such that they get heavy cheques from Unity every other month depending on how successful their game is. Those one man indie success stories that get picked up by Twitch steamers and go on to blow up? Yeah, those lead to total financial destitution now. Whoops. Of course, you get to pay less of a royalty upcharge for those that purchase the more expensive enterprise package and- wait, why are we treating this like perishable goods sales? The 5000 Euro a year subscription demands the least kickback? What is this, the capitalist mafia?
Oh, and that point about pirated copies? So Unity assured everyone that their proprietary *spy* tech would weed out illegitimate downloads by way of... magic, I guess- and developers won't be charged for that. Also, it just so happens that very same tracking tech will follow players around to collate their numbers and get the invoice numbers correct- and I bet Unity won't scoop up anymore data off the computers it's muscled it's way in on whatsoever. And such theoretical data won't then be used to sell off to interested parties in order to make Unity more of that all-consuming blood money that the team just seem to go absolutely bananas for. What a galling and frankly ballsy thing to come and admit in order to comfort the masses instead of just get them more riled up! It's as though these people live on another damn planet, I swear!
So who would be the kind of cretin that would dream up an idea so dastardly? Is it Dick? Are he and Mutley running Unity as a side gig whilst they wait for those darn Wacky Racers to fall for their false road signs for the hundrenth time this week. (You'd think they'd just start bringing a map with them after the second time he pulled it.) John Riccitiello is the man, and he just happens to be the same out of class sea slug who commented how developers who make games without monetisation in mind are 'F****** idiots.' and proposed his own idea, the most coherent thing his malnourished little walnut of a cognitive centre could conjure, wherein Battlefield could charge 1 dollar to reload an ammo clip. (presumably while smiling goofily and trying to shove his leaking brain matter back up his nose with his spare hand.) So when you think that no one in their right mind could make such a stupid choice for their company, remember that John runs the show over there. A man worth about as much as the 15 dollar bill exchanged for the hour to conceive him. A genetic and evolutionary mistake. God's slip of the finger. John Riccitiello.
Which leaves us with the question, what exactly is anyone going to do about John's decisions? Well the 'Slay the Spire' developers have announced their intention to drop the engine entirely baring a change of direction. The Cult of the Lamb developers have threated to delete their game on January 1st. Among Us Developers have voiced their displeasure and gone on to dangle the possibility of doing... something. (they haven't said what.) The increadibly influential fellows over at MiHoYo (Makers of Genshin Impact and Honkai Star Rail) have yet to say anything although they are currently in the cross hairs. And there's one other upcoming Unity game I've been keeping track of, isn't there? A little title called... Oh no... oh god no...
Hollow Knight: Silksong... Wait, no- You can't do this to me...
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