Mario has quit Mario

 Mario must prevent Mario from becoming Mario.

There are certain figures within the world who transcend their lot in life and stamp themselves firmly into the otherwise ever twisting and running streams of the pop culture consciousness. Solidly firm Maypoles dug against the torrent, never rotting or rusting and ever present for the rest of the world to marvel on. In literary terms we would call a person like this something memorable, such as an 'icon'. And one such icon type we all share are those who formed the foundations of who we are. Which is probably why in the world of gaming many consider Charles Marinet a voice acting icon for his nearly 30 year career voicing one of the founding father figures of the gaming landscape Mario Mario himself. And Luigi Mario! And Waluigi. And Wario! And Paarthurnax from Skyrim! (Okay, maybe the last one is just what I know him for.)

Now of course, Mario wasn't originally known well for his vocal chops when players met the lovable plumber all the way back in 1981- because that machine barely had enough audio receptors in it to manage the beeps of Donkey Kong's barrel collisions. In fact, Mario didn't get to speak until the 1994 CD version of Mario Teaches Typing- though I suspect that's not when the Mushroom Kingdom's savior's best know vocal  debut was. Super Mario 64 was the moment, when the classical mute protagonist cliché was first broken and we all learnt that Mario is every bit the Italian stereotypical character we expected from... an New York Plumber? Yeah, I never really understood where that accent came from. But it was sing-song, and it was playful and it was lively and it gave Mario that final bit of personality to be a Kid's icon. Approachable and vaguely lobotomised, like all kids icons!

But seriously, Mario's iconic semi-incoherent demi-Italian spiel forms the core memories for so many burgeoning gamers over the years; which makes Charles Marinet's voice that of many childhood's the world over. Even as the role of Mario has evolved and changed over the years, his 'wahoo's and 'Itsamee's have remained a constant pebble in the storm of the franchise. Even more so, I'd say, than Sonic and his wavering 'too cool for school' voices that waver between maturity, irreverence and even plain-minded simpleton in some interpretations. Mario is just Mario. Always has been, always will be. Which is probably why people took is so poorly once the Mario movie came around and drug Chris Pratt's dulcet, yet unenthused tones, to overwrite our hero. 

Unfortunately we may have to credit Charles' brief Cameo as Mario's father from that movie as his last official appearance, because according to the man himself the fabulous red cap is being hung up as he retires his performance. As of now it seems to be a choice from the actor himself, whether because he's tired of doing the voice after all these years or maybe is looking to retire from voice work altogether- although the sheer fact that this is a Nintendo property has people speculating about maybe Charles being pushed out of his lucrative position once Chris Pratt proved the iconic voice could be easily replaced. (and half-assed.) Personally I understand, and quite appreciate, the scepticism; but if there's one point that Nintendo never compromise on, it's product quality. Never has any dissatisfaction with Mario's voice been made publicly aware, and if Shigeru was happy with Charles' work on the games, that's about as solid job security as one could hope for. No, I think this was a personal choice from the 67 year old. (67? He's not even that old!)

With the removal of Mario's voice from his throne the clear question of 'who will succeed the man' has been sparked across the fanbase. Afterall, the laconic performance of Chris Pratt clearly indicated that Nintendo are happy for practical comatose victims to roll up for the job, so they could go literally any direction for our man. Maybe this will herald the start of a subtle redesign of the Mario licence to place the plumber back in the role he used to be before the franchise blossomed out in every errant direction. That is to say, before Mario officially retired from plumbing and took up go-karting and golf and Tennis and Olympian athletics and bloody death matches across the multiverse. And maybe with that soft-reboot the perception of a 'new Mario' can be solidified with a brand new voice. Something understated and melodic and American and boring.

Personally, I think a reset of the Mario character should take the plumber and throw him into the shoes of an Ex-plumbing specialist who's life drastically changed when he was drafted to fight in the jungles alongside his brother Luigi. Mild mannered Luigi never came back from the war the same, and still finds himself fraught with dreams of explosive LEDs stuck to the bottom of palm fronds and waking to sparks of deadly gunfire lighting up the night like bursting fireflies. Mario came back too, but not changed so much as... hardened. The jovial and happy-go-lucky playboy of the past was squashed into a box and buried underneath a square jawed jarhead prepared to go to any lengths to ensure the survival of his shell shocked younger brother. Luigi takes to clerk work whilst Mario takes to the street, earning a living with his fists cracking the skulls of punks, drunks and whoever else is braggadocios or naïve enough to think the 4'll man would be an easy nut to crack. Mario of this ultimate universe doesn't 'wahoo' or 'yahoo' but he does like to whistle, to harmonise with the whistling of his clenched firsts swinging through the air!

Or, you know, they could just go with a sound-alike. I understand why a movie Mario had to amend the voice of the character a little, simply because as the star of a movie the main character's role had changed to become a source of information to the audience, requiring the Plumber to develop means of communication in order to be coherent and not annoying. (As sing-song as Charles' Mario is, I wouldn't want to hear him hold a conversation.) But video game Mario hasn't seem to have lost his role in favour of a more tradtional narrative experience. If the new Mario is anything to go by, Mario is happy being an avatar for the player and little else with splashes of personality dashed on top for flavour. I don't want that changing in favour of getting a Chris Pratt sound-alike to match up the movie and game identity. Although if Nintendo did go that route, I doubt they'd have trouble finding some milquetoast white man with as little enthusiasm as the man himself.

At the end of the day there's only one right answer to this sound debate, and though you might think you don't know what it is yet: you do. We all do. We just need to be reminded of the only Mario voice which could replace Charles Martinet. Marc Graue, another voice acting veteran, with the honour of having lent voice to Gaming's most venerated icon in the same year that Charles did! Albeit in an undoubtedly superior product: Hotel Mario. Mario is a New Yorker plumber, so why shouldn't he boast a voice that one reviewer described as "Someone's ex-smoker grandpa trying to imitate a mafia Hit man" and further expressed that "the dialogue is meant to sound playful, but the character voices imply acts of menace and hate." That's the kind of Mario I'd go to war with. But of course remember well, that Charles will always be Mario and whatever the character morphs into in the generations to come, he'll always carry some of Charles in his core makeup. Because just as the proverb goes: "All toasters toast toast."