The hobby of video game entertainment is one that crosses a lot of demographics and borders across the entire world. There is no one kind of person who is 'allowed' to enjoy video games and, in reflection, gaming has begun to open up to all types of folk out there. Recently we've seen how this has effected people with conditions like colour blindness, with many triple AAA titles instituting alternative solutions for coloured HUD icons depending on the specific type of colour blindness. We've also seen entire studios formed in order to address uncommon issues and topics such as that recent group of veterans who came together to make games focusing on African American characters. Isn't it strange then, that in all of this diversity we see throughout the world of gaming that there are never titles geared towards religious demographics?
Take a look at any other form of entertainment media and you'll almost always find a 'Christian counterpart' ready to feed to the contentious masses. You have the evangelical channels on TV that adopt the style of shopping channels, Movie stars who dedicate their entire careers to spreading the good word of their patron deity and even musicians who seem steadfast in their pursuit of everything holy. The only real problem with all these diverse Christian alternative comes in the small commonality that they all inevitable suck and/or are terrible. I don't know what it is about pursing good->insert religion here<-values, but it just seems to suck all the talent out of the room like a black hole. This is even true with the few Christian video games that have been made over the years, with half of them being pseudo-educational snore fests and the other half just being crappy platformers, for the most part. Honestly, the best religious-themed video game out there is probably 'Super 3D Noah's Ark', but that's more a joking reskin of DOOM than an actual effort to spread a good message.
Enter 'SimulaM' and their debut video game with a title so in-your-face that it couldn't help but draw attention from just about everyone who laid eyes on it. 'I am Jesus Christ' is a game with a real Steam page that you can look up right now (as of the writing of this article) complete with a real trailer, screenshots and a description that looks like it was written under duress. I think that the element of this whole thing that strikes people so profoundly when it comes to this project isn't the concept itself, we see countless video games with premises much weirder than playing as Jesus Christ, I think that it more comes down to the po-faced seriousness that this whole operation seems to exude. Whilst looking through all of this preliminary promotional material, one cannot help but feel a sense of "No, we're not 'in on the joke' and, in fact, we disapprove of you having a joke in the first place!"
Taking a look at the amount of work that went behind the official reveal trailer alone is another to set one's head a-scratching. We start with seeing the stereotypical 'White bearded man' depiction of Jesus, crossing the desert in his heavy robes, just as he comes a cross a disgusting potato monster that I can only presume is supposed to be an old woman. The camera then flies into the eyes of Jesus as we get to see the man hover his radioactive glow-hands over this old crone in order to imbue her with the power to open her eyes. (Not sure if that's a blessing or a curse for a thing like that.) From there the miracles keep coming and they don't stop coming as Jesus fills an empty bucket with fish, walks on water and calms roaring seas in order to save an empty boat, and is crucified before returning from the dead as good as new. It's worth noting, by-the-by, how all of this in rendered in such a blatantly poor fashion that it is clear how none of this is real gameplay as, I can only presume, we are meant to believe.
We can learn slightly more about this title by attempting to decipher the word dribble that goes for a 'description' on this title. "Become Jesus Christ, the famous man on Earth - in this highly realistic simulation game." It starts in curious fashion. Perhaps parodying that infamous John Lenon quote, but in reality probably just showcasing a distinct lack of a decent translator for the Polish development team. "Pray like Him for getting superpower, perform famous miracles like Him from Bible like casting demons, healing and feeding people, resurrection and more in 'I am Jesus Christ'". I find it curious that the team decided to describe Jesus' abilities as 'Superpowers'. Perhaps they intend to aim for that illusive super hero crowd?
"'I am Jesus Christ' is a realistic simulator game inspired by stories from the New Testament of the Bible. Get into old times and follow the same path of Jesus Christ 2,000 years ago. Game is covering the period from Baptizing of Jesus Christ and to Resurrection. Have you ever wondered to be like Him - one of the most privileged and powerful people in the world?" Well I sure am glad someone finally shone a light on Jesus' privilege. It had to be said one day. "Follow his path" The flavour text reads. "Check if you can perform all famous miracles from the Bible like Jesus Christ. It is a simulation game and you can try to save the world as He did. Are you ready to fight with Satan in the desert, exorcising demons and curing sick people? Or calm the storm in the sea?" Not sure about most of that stuff, but fighting the Devil in the desert does sound pretty damn cool. I just hope the fight itself is one of those tiered affairs, you know with the multiple boss bars and changes of scenery. I think this team should really look into borrowing some of the more cinematic cues from DMC5. "Over 30 Miracles!" The game rightly boasts. What? How many miracles does your game have, huh? That's what I thought... "Pray like Him to get your Holy Spirit's power and help people around you. Fight with evil, make miracles, resurrect dead, feel and act like Him. If you a game-lover, why not to get to know His pass, His challenges, His sufferings, and His power!" Sort of making Jesus sound like a Necromancer in that passage, but I've always wanted to raise an army of the dead so I'm down.
This all ends with a beautiful looking 'Features' list that certainly does paint this title as a GOTY 2020 contender...
"Key features:
- Open World
- Special skills
- Realistic fight with Satan
- Over 30 miracles like healing people, walking on water, calming storm, feeding people
- Baptising and getting super power of Holy Spirit
- Praying and increasing of Holy Spirit
- Crucifixion and Resurection
and much more..."
You might find yourself wondering about the pedigree of a Studio like this, are they capable of making this ambitious-sounding title or are they just blowing smoke where the sun don't shine. Well, as I said this is the developer's debut title, but we can look at the sorts of game that the Publisher puts out to get an idea of the calibre of folk that they work with. Those fellows, who go by the moniker Playway S.A., are rather prolific in their work, in that they've published 5 games this year and three of them are 'simulator' titles. In their defence, the simulator genre is notorious for folk who throw up 'coming soon' titles that never deliver, so Playway's clients at least put out games. (I've even heard of a few, like 'Thief Simulator' and 'Cooking Simulator') They also published that 'Lust for Darkness' game which attempted to mix Lovecraftain horror themes with erotic undertones. It wasn't very good.
So at the end of the day we have a hilariously shoddy title with an irresistible premise, but does that mean we'll actually see a game down the line? Honestly, I think that the developers would be fools not to patch something together after all the free publicity that this title got. Right now all the materials we see about the game are obviously conceptual and the promised feature set is practically eye rolling, this seems like a product destined to become vapour-ware but I implore the developers, wherever they may be, to not let this opportunity pass and to put out something, no matter how trashy it ultimately is. (Even if it's terrible, streamers will give the title life.)
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