The Sims: a depression killer?

Citation needed.

I had a blog planned for today, as I usually do, which got thrown out the window the second I happened upon an interesting article on my Google suggestions. (Good job, Google algorithm, you've figured out which kind of articles I'll click on.) So what could have driven me off of my course, you ask. What article was so attention grabbing that I immediately scrapped everything else on the spot the moment I saw it's potential? "Playing the Sims makes you 'healthier and happier', scientist reveals." Published by the Sun with a byline dedicated to one Becky Pemberton. Oh Rebecca, what absolute drivel are you feeding the public today?

For those unfamiliar, The Sun is a shameless tabloid who became so desperate to offload physical copies that they started a trend of slapping pictures of half naked girls on page 3. (You can thank the tireless entrepreneurial mind of, professional creep, Rupert Murdoch for that particular evolution to journalism.) In the modern day such doesn't translate so well to the Online space, so The Sun have secured their relevance the same way that any online tabloid does; clickbait. (Hey, it works.) With all that in mind, I can't say that I'm surprised to see such a frivolous story make it to their pages, but I still feel compelled to respond when the subject is a matter that I am infinitely more familiar with than Miss Pemberton is.

"From the sounds of it, you seem to refute the claim that the Sims makes one happier and healthier." You're damn right I do. And matters are not helped by the fact that someone (likely the Intern that Becky choose to edit all this together whilst she argued with the Starbucks waiters about the creaminess of her cappuccino) decided that the best accompanying image for this article would be from 'The Sims: Freeplay'. Now, I'm not going to pretend to be the most objective person in the world, especially not in an article where I'm poised to rip apart other people's opinions, but I speak with unchallengeable certainty when I say that 'The Sims: Free Play' is neither healthy for you nor emotionally enriching.

At the cusp of EA's decent into the rapacious pit of Mobile games, they heralded their arrival with the aforementioned 'The Sims: Freeplay'. This was a game which practically pioneered time-gating technology to such an abhorrent degree that it genuinely revolutionized the way that countless Mobile game Devs fleece their consumer base. So of course, that means they had actions that were tied to a stamina bar which would regenerate once every hour, (Letting you experience the heart-stopping action of watching your Sim catch their breath for 60 minutes) actions for your Sim to undergo which would last for the real time equivalent, (Wanna see a Sim watch TV for half an hour? Got you covered!) and certain actions which, inexplicably, could only be activated at a certain time on a certain day of the week. (Oh, did you miss that Friday deadline? Wait until next week. That's a real world week, by the by.) All of this could be avoided by kicking papa EA his dues and earning the right to have fun. Not too much fun, however, because at the end of the day you're still playing the Sims. Is that game the face of 'happy and healthy' gaming experiences? If so, I might as well just hang myself now because that's the most grim future for gaming that I could possibly imagine.

Am I getting hung up on what is likely a misplaced image planted by somebody who doesn't care about their job? Sure. But I must it does put an absolutely foul taste in my mouth as I go into the meat of the article. (Good job, Becky!) Firstly, Ms.Pemberton starts off with a hypothetical asking the reader if they spent hours creating the dream home in The Sims 'back in the day'. Before informing us that such could benefit our mental and physical health according to a scientist. (There's so much to unpack here.) Firstly, how narrow of a perspective must you have of the Sims to assume that people played the game purely to make their dream house? The Sims isn't a building game, it's a life simulator wherein the bulk of the gameplay is about steering fake people for an, often satiristic, fictional life. Once again, I'm being nitpicky so I'll move on. Secondly, The Sims isn't a 'back in the day' franchise but a very active one which put out a major expansion earlier this year (Island life) and has another planned for the very near future. (University life.) And Thirdly, doesn't the phrase usually go "according to Scientists?" What, this guy couldn't get any of his colleagues to proof read his work?

Steven McKeown, a Psychoanalyst, proposes that playing games can "serve as a healthy escape to everyday life." Following up that it "is a better alternative to other vices like alcohol and drugs." (Oh really, Steve? What an enlightening discovery you've made there, truly worthy of the scientific annals. We'll stick that right next to the mapping of the human genome, shall we?) 'Games= better than drugs', you can understand why we needed a scientist to come to that conclusion. "The suggestion that we may spend more time in a virtual world than the physical one has been developing speedily over the years and has fast become a way in which we can live an alternative life in exactly the way we want." Stevie's implications as to the immersive on video games and the reality of it replacing real life seem to verge on abstract, but I have seen similar ideas expressed in my research into Trasnhumanism (And, you know... in the Matrix) so I'll give him the benefit of doubt here.

He then goes on to bring the Sims into this by claiming that it "can allow a person to escape social normality, its pressures and chronic stresses that are so prevalent in the real world, it allows the gamer to create a perfect reality in which they play the main character and have full control over the outcome." Okay once again, classic 'I've never played this game' syndrome. Part of the key facet of The Sims (heck, any video game with replayability value) is that you don't have full control over the outcome. In fact, your efforts to influence the outcome is what we call 'the gameplay'. What makes this more appealing than the real world is the way in which the consequences are artificial and can be waved away, just like with any game. Usually I wouldn't be so harsh on phrasing like this, but most Scientists that I've spoken to or read about are almost neurotically specific about wording. I suppose that makes Steve a bit of an anomaly in that regard.

Stevie Wonder then goes on to tell us (or rather a representative from media conglomerate Unilad, with whom the interview was being conducted) that people without a means of escape face the risk of suffering from "Burn out." The reason why The Sims is particularly good for this, in Steve's eyes, is because it allows players to explore lives or personality in a way they hadn't done so previously. Welcome to games, Steve, they're all kinda like that! I know it may be surprising to hear, but before DOOM I had never spent time curb stomping demons under my space boots, before Fallout 4 I'd never engaged with everyone I ever speak to in mildly sarcastic tones and before Skyrim I'd never slain a dragon, absorbed it's soul and used that power to defeat a World Eating primordial Wyvern. (I may have been lying about one of those.)

From this point on I have to admit, I may not quite know what it is that our psychoanalyst is getting at “Our consciousness is very adaptable and allows us to create an opening to different paradigms of reality every time we focus on alternate versions of life through our thoughts. With the assistance of life simulation games such as Sims we can enhance our inner experience." Honestly, Steve sounds like a really trippy guy to hang around as he is the only person I know to use the word 'paradigm' un-ironically outside of a TED talk. As for the rest of his claims, I honestly can't help but wonder where the 'This message is sponsored by EA' label comes into it.

The reason I say that is because if there is one game, of all games, that is likely to heighten your sense of vivid despair, it's the Sims. This is a game in which the primary antagonist that the player spends the majority of the game fighting is themselves, and everything you want to accomplish and/or achieve is dependant on you satisfying your requirements to be fed, clean, relieved and happy. It's a microcosm for the issues that we face everyday and, just like when it comes to maintaining a real human being, all it takes is for you to fall behind on one aspect for your Sim's balance to go spiralling out of control. So perhaps one could argue that this game does a good job in teaching folk how to better organize their life, but I've been playing these games all my life and I'm a god damn shambles. (That particular gripe might be a little personal.)

None of this is to even take into account the way that The Sim's pimp, EA, manages to squeeze it's player base's wallets clean every release. It may be a distant memory today, but I still remember when The Sims 3 was discontinued and Maxis announced Sims 4 with a fraction of the features and twice the price. It has been half a decade since that release and the community are only now receiving 'University Life'. (An aspect that was present in Sims 3.) EA have managed to make a mint by overcharging for these 'expansions' at anywhere between £17.99 to £35 per pack. When these expansions number around about 29, (Not counting University life) you can see how the price for the whole package grows ridiculous. Want to know the worst part? The game itself isn't even worth any of that. Honestly, none of the Sims games are and I will debate any two-bit EA scrooge who insists otherwise. You may think that this paragraph is a bit beyond the point but ruminate on this; would you feel happy and healthy after taking stock of your Sims spending habits and realizing that you've put 3 digits behind it?

Okay, so I've established that Stevie boy is talking out of his ass, but just who is this guy and why does his opinion matter? Well, he's a psychoanalyst and hypnotherapist who's claim to fame is that he has had a number of celebrity clients over the years.(I'm not going to start judging the hypnotherapy profession, but I will acknowledge that there a vocal group of medial professionals who very much do.) Also, he's one of those people who proclaims himself "The UK's number 1 coach and psychoanalyst", without detailing what metric he is comparing himself too. (Also, 'Coach'? Does this guy work with junior football teams or something?) He is also very proud of an 'Interational Mental Makeover Retreat' that he created which looks to be run out of a picturesque villa/compound in Italy and costs around £3000 for a six night stay. (Not sure about you but I can't read anymore of this for all the red flags waving in my eyes.)

So, is this whole news story just ill-informed gibberish spouted by a pretentious hack who looks like the kind of guy who'd wear sunglasses indoors? No, it's not just that. It's also a necro-story dug up by the Sun which I've seen bought up by other outlets as early as April of this year. Apparently The Sun are having a slow News week. But what more do you really expect from Becky Pemberton, given that her usual content includes many deep diving articles such as; The Queen wrote a furious note to one of her top chefs after she found a SLUG in her salad, (How improper!) Bride’s wedding gown roasted for looking like a swimsuit, (Gosh, so embarrassing!)and Mum saves time by putting her daughters to bed in tomorrow’s clothes. (What an inspiration.) Not that I'm much better, writing about all this crap in order to provide myself with content, but what do you want for nothing?